A Disciple's Thread

[NoNun2]

Yeah… it was who I was talking to

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Honestly I haven’t had a psychotic break in YEARS… I wonder if he got me over that hurdle finally

[NoNun2]

[NoNun2]

08:30 AM #1
Against ALL Odds
Guest
The abridged history of Rapbattles.com. The true version: Must see for wannabe "vets"
The E (online) true Hollywood Story: The forum formerly known as Rapbattle.com

With so much hearsay when people recall back as to how/and when the inception of Rapbattle(s).com occurred. I figured I, Mr. Anonymous should clear the air once and for all. Let's begin with a timeline, and slowly integrate into the true history of this site:

August 2000 - Subtrek launches Rapbattles.com

Septemeber 2000 - Shadow purchases the domain name "Rapbattle.com" and immediately makes the transition from his "f2s" (free2serve) UBB forum "Lethal Lyricizts" to Rapbattles.com - Although Rapbattle & Rapbattles were similar in domain origin, the actual development/and user base encompassing both communities varied completely.

Through some odd coincidence, week(s) after the launch of a competing Rapbattle.com site/forum, Mike (Shadow) & Jake (Subtrek), form a friendship. Although initial ill will for one another occurred, it quickly spawned into a little competing love/hate relationship.



*Fast Forward a year plus down the line*

Both communities are still at it, going neck and neck. However Jake (Subtrek), is completely disenchanted with the turnout of Rapbattles. He is currently making beats and enlisting them on MP3.com for revenue. Through the spamming of his beats on various communities, he has a nice little chunk of money earned. With this new found revenue generator, beat making - In addition to a generalized hatred for the Rapbattles.com members, he decides to contact long time buddy Mike (Shadow) in efforts of selling the community to him. Rapbattles, at the time was 900 members strong. While Rapbattle.com nearly double in member count. Shadow agreed to the acquisition terms, and purchased the community immediately thereafter Jake's resignation/sale.



*New Era: The combining of communities*

When I last left off; Shadow had purchased the Rapbattles.com community. After a few days of maintaining both - Rapbattle.com & Rapbattles.com - It became very overwhelming. Shadow, at the time, favored Rapbattle over his latest venture. After all, he had started Rapbattle from the ground up. Thus, he did not want to allow someone else to run Rapbattle.com - So, he decided to appoint a new admin for the Rapbattles.com community. The appointed admin was Andrew Bareknuckles, Luciano at the time. Mike (Shadow) has known Andrew from his earlier textcee (1999) days on Network 54 forums. Thus had the utmost trust and confidence in Luciano running the community. After a month or two, Rapbattles.com just became a hassle to run. Additionally - It was a complete waste of effort to grow each one individually, when you can grow as one and form one of the largest rap communities online. With this in mind, Mike redirected the domain name Rapbattles.com to Rapbattle.com. Tension immediately arose, between the two budding communities. Eventually it died off and the forum had maintained some unity. However this wasn't the only thing to die off - Mike/Shadow's passion to running the site slowly descended, as did with his counterpart Jake, just 8 months prior.



*New Era: The split*

Mind you, although a bit wack - Due to it's long stemmed roots (online), Rapbattle.com slowly emerged as one of better text battle boards. As must of the members had time to grow over the years with the forum. However, with Shadow's disinterest in the forum, he slowly developed an animosity issue. He figured if he could somehow, run the forum with an iron fist - He could possibly regain interest. After various attempts, the straw that broke the Camel's back occurred - Mike (Shadow) banned, at the time, short-time member Jay Krupp. Outraged by his careless banning techniques, and argumentative banter, a number of the forum vets (the best at on the site at the time), finally took a stance against Shadow & left the community. Although, this was one of the many turbulence that effected the overall quality of the forum. Rapbattle.com still strived on - The popularity and notoriety of the site could not be deterred by scorn members who left the site. It continued in growth, and after reaching a milestone in it's self. Rapbattle.com reached 9000+ members, and over 500,000 posts.



*The crash*

Rapbattle.com strong as ever -- hit it's new low, a complete forum meltdown. All and everything Shadow worked for had slowly went up in flames (Karma?) . All members and all posts were lost. The entire community vanquished.



*Rapbattles.com: Resurrection *

Shadow, furious, yet with some glimmer of hope - Decides to rebuild what was destroyed. This time however he decides to devote his once lost interest in another direction - A direction of which involved a complete site turnaround. Rather than rapbattles.com point to rapbattle.com - Rapbattle.com instead pointed to rapbattles.com. The site starts off slow, however begins to get back it's userbase. It yet again grows past - 9000 members. However, as history will do, it repeated itself yet again for Shadow. He began his iron fist tactics, and slowly started to form more hatred for the site. His decision was to allow - Luciano, Rapbattles.com run the site on his own. As Shadow pursued other endeavors. Eventually - Luciano became a bit overwhelmed with a community of this size. After a suggestion brought on by Luciano, and some consulting with one another - Luciano appointed RB's fourth Admin in History - Kris, aka Syntax Mastery. A very dope emcee, who had the respect of many of his peers.



*Rapbattles.com: The untimely death*

Syntax (Kris) & Luciano (Andrew) continued to run the forum, as Shadow (Mike) sat on the sidelines pursuing other areas. After running the community as well as anyone could (two amazing admins, best in RB history) for months? If not over a year - Shadow, out of nowhere, underhandedly sold the forum to another Mike (also known as Alldig). AllDig had no direct interest in the community nor even visited the community once, however took on the venture - After realizing it's potential in growth was enormous. He found the community posted up for sale via the webmaster forum GeekVillage. After his purchase, he de-adminned Luciano/Barknuckle as well as Syntax....



Well, that's it. Of course I left off much detail - But all in all, this is the history of RB. All contributed to by four people - Jake, Mike, Andrew, and Kris. And a never dying community of Internet emcees - Making this one of the best forums online. Who knows the future - This site has endured so much, I wouldn't be surprised if this site goes through 10 more ownership changes - And people claiming they're vets since 2006. It's cool though, as long as this shit is kept alive.

Nonetheless take this thread for what you will.



Sincerely signed,
Rapbattle(s) scientist, and full-time Shadow dickrider.

Some history of the site that I found in the lounge!!! The longest read that kept my attention the entire time… I’ve been a member since 2010

[NoNun2]

The brain washing, the atrophy in my brain as a result - I need to find somebody that will help me sue for &10k a week the rest of my life… and if is under 20 years - it goes to my kin

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I can’t even file a police report I don’t know how to find help

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My family believes the psych drs

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Oh and I been a member since 2011

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I think that’s VERY reasonable - maybe too much so please find them and help me to settle

[NoNun2]

I was hearing voices again so they put me on another anti psychotic in which my other dr said that’s dangerous he wanna get me back to one - only the voices came back anyway idk what to do

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I was hearing voices again so they put me on another anti psychotic in which my other dr said that’s dangerous he wanna get me back to one - only the voices came back anyway idk what to do

I know they’re not real but they’re annoying as fuck

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I’m literallt retarded without my Medicine - we want to get better too

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I just need a vampire

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It just makes me mad cause I was regulated by my drs and didn’t have to go on meds until they gang raped me in myrtle beach and I stole the car… only that could’ve been solved if they just told me and treated my ptsd - so technically don’t understand why I would’ve needed the meds at all - but now I need them or I’m retarted type fucked up

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Like who turned me and my life and my family into some test case anyway

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They refuse to tell me if I was or wasn’t shot when I know for a fact I was shot… I missed 2 months of school when I saw my classmates bullet scar and not owe an addition $6k in over hours

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Now owe $12 per hour for every hour over 1500 I’m at 1600 hr and don’t graduate until June now… you do the math

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They just took away my food stamps and won’t tell me why

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I don’t have a job or money and haven’t for years!!!) every time I stand back up and build again something happens and I get mentally ill again

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Yes my he’ll mate already told me they’re trying g to make me worse than before again

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Nah I’m good - I didn’t drink today

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Got my boy some nips for bus bday but I really did want to

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Because I agree with the no alcohol - I’ve always gotten sicker easier with it I see now

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But no I never used alcohol as an excuse to do something I can’t admit to - I learned young that you just don’t do shit you can’t admit to… I never fucked that man and want to know if he raped me too

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I actually prefer being alone and writing if I have my adhd meds and some of my Drs even agree

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I think being 100% sober is socially unhealthy too

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I repeat the plight just refuse to be on it

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I don’t think any man on this earth should have my freewill that my god promised me - or woman

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I respect the plight but will never do it*

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How did anybody that fucking feels like get mine?

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Nah it’s not even dismissive

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I can pick my own man thank you

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Nobody on this earth going to try to force me into that life

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My cigs that were in my pocket ended up on my bed and my family member went from my bathroom to the couch in a split second - they really need to know their getting the wrong guidance and it’s disrespectful as hell to me

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I have too much on my plate to be fucked with
U head

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I want no parts of that life and pray someone fix me

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It fucks with my head and makes me sick too

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Never in my life gave someone will over me and my body

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But if anyone gonna have it it’s gonna be pac

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Well wouldn’t you want to know who is touching hurting and torturing your body

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Yeah someone was in my car - I left lady in red on half way

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How would you feel especially being mentally ill FAGts but I didn’t have to be this sick facts too

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The hood taught me that ���� but corporate is WAY less prejudice

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AWKWARD silence I guess as I realize it’s possible somebudy is hearing me

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It’s easier to write than spitting shit out

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Yo bitches… I just have to say I seen it all

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NOW I get it saw every weird second now that I know I wasn’t psychically hallucinating

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To be honest I didn’t want to be anything like you

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Except all moms of course

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Gabe dropped and had a seizure as soon as I put my cross on… I didn’t change my religion - I thought just cause the new cross was cruised

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Nah I only dated 3 guys that ate pork and told Allah fuck this I’ll respect you myself for helping me

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When I realized god gave everyone else but me free will until I learned I’m not the only one

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Now I’m back to my religion cause god didn’t do it he just let them

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3 guys that didn’t eat pork*

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Cause they’re forcing me into a zone I don’t want to be in

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I read the Quran and never made any promises religiously

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If that’s what’s up and I’m a be abused in my
Own body no thank you

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I made religions promises to my God*

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Ever have someone demand to talk to you in a way which is against your religion too?

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That’s how witches make me feel and then on top of my mental illness so I just pray for protection

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You can’t force me to be friends with or even like you though

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I definitely don’t respect you. .so why would I be forced to stand with or next to you… no way

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Find your own solution too…

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I suck today but I’m not going down

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K grosses the hell out of me to be honest so it’s gross to feel like him too

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I don’t like that religion or man either

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I can’t stand not feeling like myself

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More like feeling like other people in my flesh

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I’m not the religion to play mask games either

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I deserve peace and comfort in my mind and own body

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Can I ever get that again as a result? ��

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And I get shot cause I said fuck love u love money too

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When I was with the bf who helped set me up

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I like money too*

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They put me in mental like it’s a joke but I bet you they even know what they were doing to me in mental and still did it, right?

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Fuck a double jeopardy it’s everyone hitting me at the same time

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WHY?

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I ain’t snitch a day in my mother fucking life - but I feel snitching rules need to be adjusted

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I’m gonna go to bed…

[NoNun2]

I think we hit @Candy how do I cash out?

[NoNun2]

Sad as fuck right now… thinking and drinking

[NoNun2]

I’m sorry Em… do you hate me?

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It’s like I was more mature at 13 then I am now

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Like I regressed cause there was nothing to be mature for

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I just can’t stop pacing until I know what happened to pac and jicera

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It’s an animal instinct… where’s my cub

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I know pac ain’t saying I’m the one in the rearview on drugs or whatever… I did 5 drugs my entire life… not me not my plight

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Nobody will tell me the truth when i know for facts

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Rubbing my belly telling Jen’s mom almost 5 months

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You wanna know how I remember it though… because I thought I was pregnant in 10th grade but the outfit I was wearing was from 5th grade… it was my favorite so like I wouldn’t have had that outfit in 10th but 8th… yeah

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Stuff like that

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Telling my best friend Erin you was black… but that was in new Fairfield I didn’t meet Ced until Danbury and stuff like that… they couldn’t brainwash it all… like the pit in my stomach saying no way out - I had to tell you my real age

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After already lying about my real name

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My sister didn’t like the name… she thought she’d be made fun of… I can tell you every name that made the Final Cut for jicera

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Asia, China, Ashley Corrine but I chose jicera

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These are facts that I remember

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I can’t stop pacing until I know what happened

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I remember cursing at every car that passed my house and getting so mad that I called Tony too

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You didn’t pick me up when I ran away you called the police

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Married too? Maybe you wasn’t coming back for me

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I hate your network… I hate that I got shot and didn’t even know it and I’ll be from hell if I can just go back home

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To my nature my environment my peaceful insanity

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I have atrophy in my memory…

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Is that why the back of my head wa shaved?

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How do they brain wash me now?

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I remember them giving me the iq test after… I was low balling it

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I remember my father being sad and so upset it was only 90

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I used to be smart as fuck

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I relapsed last night and drank… my bf was being mean to me and left - he couldn’t sleep over but he stayed out all night

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He never had any intentions on leaving her and why I want to be that bitch anyway

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I have to get ready for school… I pray they don’t smell the liquor on me lol

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It never works with anybody… this would be my 5th divorce. Before it was cause I felt so empty now it’s just not in me to play that role and I never was a hoe it’s just I’m strong like a man and that’s a turn off to guys too… Ced was my heart and entire being - I ain’t been right since

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I literally died in Hillcroft when I tried to od and haven’t been the same since… I literally died when he betrayed me

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I took for granted that he always was gonna be there

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We had 2 miscarriages

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I miss him but am so far gone I don’t even know if I’d be myself when and if I see him

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Ced, I was just looking for something real and didn’t realize real is what we had. I knew you couldn’t marry a white girl or wouldn’t

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I think back to the time when we first met…
I remember every moment, I can never forget.

We fell in love that night, laying, staring at the sky
Who ever thought me and you would be the ones to say goodbye.

And at the time with all the things I was going through…
You just stole my diary, stole my heart, and made me part of you.

You introduced me to a life that helped me to find a way…
And from that moment on - every day for you I would pray.

Every struggle I felt, every hit I took with you,
But now that you’re gone, I don’t know what to do.

Sometimes the pain would take me to my knees…
I’d just look back up to the sky crying and begging the Lord please.

With you, I’d always compete.
I’d ask - you’d say no - I find it my way - then repeat.

It seems like we were so damn happy when we were building
But not everything that glitters is gold, it’s just gilding.

In the beginning, all the girls, I really and truly didn’t care.
Because those bitches didn’t have shit on us, and of that, I was well aware.

But then it, they, them, it all became too much…
I became jaded and my emotions became out of touch.

I have never been as much of a soldier, as I been, when it came to me and you…
With you by my side, there wasn’t a god damn drill I couldn’t get through.

I’d give my life for you, for this game, but it wasn’t ever returned…
How many times were you gonna sit back and watch as I got burned?

Even to this day, sometimes I forget who I am, without you…
But I know it’s not reciprocated so what was a girl supposed to do.

I called you when I saw them outside; I needed help, now I need to know why
You left me with the decision get robbed, go to jail, or die.

I chose to do the laundry because at least the decision was mine.
But I can’t believe of all people YOU were the one to put me on that line.

But I am not going to sit here and cry. Not one more fucking tear…
Cause with me and you gone, I swear to fucking god I have not left one more fucking fear.

They say once a good girls gone bad she is gone forever…
I say no, she’s just mad, or sad, and to be treated that way again – She just says no. Never!

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I don’t know what them bitches did to me but you do… maybe June can fill you in… just get them fucking bitches off me!!!! It’s so gross I literally feel them in my flesh

[NoNun2]

Drunken outburst - sorry

[NoNun2]

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I love him though lol

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Hell no I don’t want to get married!!!

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I can’t even get thru a break up let alone a divorce

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For what? It’s too late to have a family anyways

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What I need and want is a trust

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Praying for $10k a week to keep my sense of humor - someone a lot of ones were breaking mad laws and took my civil rites

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Taking my free will and religious rites is why I read the Quran… I forgive my god now too… Roman Catholic

[Candy]

I think we hit @Candy how do I cash out?

timing

[NoNun2]

I stole the Lex in my pajamas… cause I woke up still running for my life

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Why all this just didn’t get solved then?

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My dr had a legal obligation to report me bleeding black with dbt9 in my drug test to the law - at very minimum exPlain what happened to me not say I t was a psychosis

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My paycn*

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Psych*

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@Candy I was so excited posting my tats praying for a win … but my bf got mad saying I was showing my body and it just escalated from there. I told him I’m trying to get both us paid but he wasn’t trying to hear and allegedly don’t even want it

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Dolo again I guess…

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Me personally it just feel better to love than hate but evidentially there’s not too many of us

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I don’t need friends I got ghosts

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I’m not gonna ever forget my very small circle though

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Dr Nathan strahl but I can’t even make a police report let alone find a lawyer to help me

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Every time I reported it they just threw me in mental even when I had a cut on my vv to prove it too

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I can prove with medical records that if I didn’t report it I got to go home wake med in Raleigh

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Fighting for mental health is worth dying for… I’m not scared anymore

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Cause pac taught me if you have nothing to live for you better find something to die for

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Thanks Angel ���� Angels… I love biggie too just can’t talk about shit lol

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I was so mad at biggie saying that… of course you usually die when shot

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I have hope though because pac died before biggie

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I would though… I despise my old friends

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Me getting shot was a family issue and I dismiss it on the strength of Ashley

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She was way to young and a great mother - it broke my heart too

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That don’t mean I ever wanna see you guys again it means the kids can call if they ever need help

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I caught you snitching though

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And I will put that on blast… WTF gives you the right to set up innocent people? Why? For cash or cause you just dumb?

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I heard your brother will teach you now and good… I’m gone

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Who wanted me dead and why though?

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I’ve sucked death so much I’m just sick as hell from it all

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Ducked*

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Praying we even and at peace

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Someone’s on my phone too fucking with my head - no joke - they even sent inappropriate texts to my hell mate

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My screen turns black sometimes too or does stupid shit by itself

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Fucking with the head of a woman who is mentally ill is a hate crime and if it isn’t it should be

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He doesn’t love me anymore either

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The way I see it is they don’t know if they can bring me back anymore… last psychosis it took like a week and like just let me live and have fun - it almost feels like hospice

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I do want to be treated for my atrophy that my neuro dismissed

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It scares me when I forget how to swallow

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I read one place it means that it’s eroded or smaller and then another place brain damage idfk

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But I don’t want to die with or get Alzheimer’s either

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It scares me that no one has talked to me about it

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Welcome to hell… you’ve been diagnosed with a schizo I might call it… I was 24 I think but my first in patient at 13

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When I was first diagnosed I knew the social ramifications and sometimes would just bust out crying in my car. And yes… it’s truly been hell

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I wish I had a coach to get me thru

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Well I’m wondering if the atrophy has anything to do with the back of my head being shaved at 14 - it scares me because Paul Fox was my psych then and the psych involved with the Newtown child massacre

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Some psychs go against the fiber of my core being but I need my drs - it’s just hard to trust them

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Especially since I seen Hollins shaking his head no in inpatient when the Dr was interviewing me

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Like don’t tell them everything and it woke me up too

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They fabricated like 80% of my reports

[NoNun2]

I’ll be strong unless I get bored lol

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Someone’s post on fb reminddd me of this song

[Candy]

I think you a great body especially your booty.. my mum is hip hop n she said your cute..
Ps dope track

[NoNun2]

Someone’s post on fb reminddd me of this song

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I’m gonna need a lot more money if I have to spend this much time alone… working on more books

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I think the break up is official - he doesn’t love me anymore

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@Candy my body went to hell the second my hell mate got out but now that I have more free time I’m hoping to get back to the gym life when I was happiest and regulated without medicine - I quit cause I almost had a heart attack in step class cause of the meds and then they also closed my gym and I didn’t feel comfortable in any gym I tried… now that I know why I’m gonna try to go back - I used to love it

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Zumba and step is my favorite

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After the attack in myrtle beach they put me on meds

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I’m beyond pissed

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It was ptsd not psychosis and they knew that only I didn’t

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Like I’m some test dummy or something