A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

Are you ever going to let me and my family meet my babies? I never had cousins around me so I want my kids to know theirs. Im so confused cause i swear Asher look like Mook and Michaela my mini me - how if I'm even adopted. Confused... but maybe now I've calmed down and we just going to figure this all out.

- - - Updated - - -

Rex / Raleigh - if you want to say goodbye too...

[A Disciple]

"Do you really think Cheryl is going to make things right"
He out the country though... right?

It's so fucked up going thru this alone. I'll see my family tomorrow though.

Bare with me, I want to stay anonymous

- - - Updated - - -

PS thank you who ever made that call.

- - - Updated - - -

How am I supposed to learn about Pac and Big and X if you all never post or write too?

- - - Updated - - -

I'm up now...

- - - Updated - - -

Well don't go cursing families... bitch I never did you wrong a day in my life.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't know or know what happened either so I'm trying not to assume - I see direct shots there too. I've tried to resolve and discuss on mad occasions. Fuck it now just GO AWAY. You shouldn't have had any rite over me to even begin with.

- - - Updated - - -

I was chilling and writing with Manny fine... I could tell something spooked him and something was going on and then he said the switch computers. Ok... but EVERYONE ELSE GO THAT WAY. He's the only one on that side I will tolerate on any level besides HIS side of the family. You bitches are cold, privy, and dead wrong. I'm not trying to judge you or your family either I'm just trying to stay THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU AND ANYONE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH TOO.

- - - Updated - - -

Well its obviously a link and I'm just trying to break free too.

[A Disciple]

I was going to post “Wood stock on my mind” I wrote about church but I can’t find it. I really needed to go back there and read it right now - they entire reason I post and just use this site too. But it’s all good... maybe I have it on my computer

[A Disciple]

I put you in the obit too... did you notice PERIOD. So like... balls in your court... I know he never knew I know my dad.

- - - Updated - - -

M... did he have to die? Did I do something wrong? Was there any way he could’ve lived to?

[A Disciple]

Well that's the first time I ever checked symptoms online and actually felt better not freaking out worse.

Listen... I know nobody likes me on here but some of the shit I didn't even post. And nobody ever liked me really since IBM. Especially my old friends. They pretended well though. I didn't care, I used to sing to "I rather be paid than popular" to Afraid. But now everything has changed.

I remember tripping when I first started to get sick again asking for sacred scriptures (not the entire site) but I'm getting tired of holding it down. When does Machiavelli return cause I really can't stand All Eyes on Me this way? All Eyes has always been my way of life ever since and hypothetical with spirits WATCHING (not jumping) and to get thru it, even if you don't like them there - just teach or show them something new or something you do and they'll leave you alone until next visit. I love my all eyes that way - this shit here? Just SUCK.

2) You run and you done. If you ain't do shit - what you running for?

3) That together stuck panic throw - back to back and JUST LEAVE. One time I had to push my homie out the car and it wasn't even at a full stop yet

4) Respect BOTH, cause they BOTH greater than you.

* Those are some of the things I know and have learned maybe others will share their learnings and experiences too. Life is too short to make all the mistakes yourself.

- - - Updated - - -

It's like he was white and I was red - Both of us couldn't lose hope when it comes to penny wishes. You almost get mad that they keep you going. My soulmate or anything weird like that? No... a mentor, an advocate, a voice for me, an angel, and one day I pray I'm a write it too. "Until the hands of time" was almost exact to me and my ex. He actually had his soldier tattoo removed and left me alone and on my ass too. This here... the result.

- - - Updated - - -

A little too old to be writing to some young boy shit... but I had to wait for statutes to clear "coming out the slums" for my old friends they can trace to too ... I only ran... I never sold I swear. I started IBM in 99 and didn't have to anymore. I believe I walked that path to speak "cause the government SHOULD be the drug dealers" and finance your division to keep an ear to the street to solve a REAL crime. Like the 18 yr old baby that just got murdered in my home city. Selling is fiscal not criminal in my opinion - go solve a real crime... who passing bitches, who hitting kids, who promoting murders, etc, etc, etc.

[A Disciple]

LMMFAO I used to play tennis with my father get it straight. "I wear my bandanna backwards, then tupac wanna wear his bandanna backwards" Nah I never thought or claimed I was tupac but he my mother fucking ANGEL though.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm a failure to launch 6x...

- - - Updated - - -

"I changed my mind" ... I love Keyshia.

[A Disciple]

I'm not a control freak and I hate to be controlled for real... but I'm learning how to say the serenity prayer without wanting to spit anymore... cause there is just some things I can't tolerate or accept.

- - - Updated - - -

But I guess that's why I need to say it now...

[A Disciple]

I’m not scared... I just don’t understand what a nightmare has to do with us?

[A Disciple]

Theyre doing it again and they refuse to leave me alone and stop forcing me to kiss my own hands... and my blurry vision. I'm not going to be sick and wear glasses if I don't have to. You know I had a license pic in my sports bra... that was impossible too but as soon as I questioned it I forgot and dimissed it as impossible too. Just trying to break free... cause they fucked with my head so hard and for so long that I can see delusional now. Test him... and if so our style so everyone know they better npt even think about trying it again. How does that happen for real?

[A Disciple]

My kid is upset... I can feel it and thats not fair. Why are they doing this to me and my family to even begin with? I don't want to be forced to share my body with spirits that thinks my body is theirs not mine or that we will ever get along and share it. You have no right to change my god and religion and I'm just trying my best to get thru this hell now too. They swear I'm going to kill myself over people like them.

[A Disciple]

I wrote back cause when I first heard his song... it ran thru me. I wonder if Styles P will ever get to read it or even care to.

[A Disciple]

We had to read a lot, I had a BF and a full time job - so I just read a lot of reviews and crib notes. But anyways we kept a journal with our teacher and would write each other about the topics and books - it was amazing - and she said I was conflicted ALL the time. I just see all sides a lot. And yes, I got an A.

- - - Updated - - -

I was doing homework when they went up with the girls... I couldn't go and nah I trusted him and wasn't a hater but he can't deal with that and took it for granted like most of them did. And like I don't want to have to breath down some ones back all the time, But I guess with a lot of men you have to. But anyways... is that where my cross got taken off my rearview or the concert? My Dad bought me back so it'd be MAJOR to get my crucifix back but if not I'll just buy another.

- - - Updated - - -

I didn't get that mad - I figured they needed it more than me. FOR REAL

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah... I was already thinking bring it back while typing - My dad bought me that* (and they denied me disability AGAIN) I think I'm on the 8th time.

- - - Updated - - -

IM SO MAD I WANNA SUE THE FUCK OUT OF THEM... people get it for WAY less.

[A Disciple]

I would suppose most writers do...

[A Disciple]

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...2h_exa-vIK09kY

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...E5zQZCPg8eF8hA

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...rk6Ers2zH18Fsl

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...Q_r2ZtsVb6ba72

- - - Updated - - -

Just click the links then... Pac is still alive tp me. I'm not some crazy wack bitch... I been thru hell and I can write. I have researched the big pac scenario but nah they don't talk about most shit. Is there anybody on here?

- - - Updated - - -

You go thru insanity 9-11 times and tell me how smart you are in the end.

- - - Updated - - -

They won't even stop fucking with me long enough so that I can even TRY to get better.

- - - Updated - - -

When they hit me myrtle beach 2010 pac was screaming at me trying to wake me up. I didn't understand what he was talking about yet,

- - - Updated - - -

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...JnJkyxUBm9Zdhg

THALL SHALL NOT FALL

And like nah you bitches go make it look like it's over that or that and to me you look so stupid. Just trying to get to the people who protect me too.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm not trying to tell everybody but every time I say Lord I hear another person ask for forgiveness before I can even spit my prayer out. And everyone acts like this shit is some joke... I'm getting hit by some sould ass bitches too like they can do it for me. They're fucking with my religion too though.

- - - Updated - - -

If someone isn't on my throat, theyre popping my ear, or feels like a knife is being raked down my wrist and IM TIRED. They hate us and I have ZERO defense.

- - - Updated - - -

How did they even get on my body to begin with and who?

- - - Updated - - -

I woke up and thought the nightmare was finally over and it went to a times 40x hell even worse. I'm trying to recover. I've cut everybody out of my life who I found out was hurting me behind my back but smiling in my face pretending to be my friend. But yet I'm still stuck here for some reason. I don't even want to talk about it or them or even give them a dishonorable mention I just want to get better and get back to my family too. I have to figure out what am I going to do now and need some help, protection, and some advice how to get thru this all alone.

- - - Updated - - -

IMPOSSIBLE. I TOLD YOU IMPOSSIBLE AND I FUCKING MEAN IT I SWEAR!

- - - Updated - - -

ok... outburst over.

- - - Updated - - -

WHY does that even upset you? I've been sitting here getting my fucking ass kicked for like 7 years now and you're not doing shit about it either. Believe me my personal and business ALWAYS been separated and nothing is going to change about that now either. I deserve to know what the fuck is going on too.

PS on that "Hello" one I prefer the Nozzi version

- - - Updated - - -

I just write and prefer to blend in a crowd... and nah I'm not sould because my dreams BEEN over. They were humble too. So there really is nothing they can even offer me now. But I need to support myself too. Just what the fuck? What the fuck is even going on that it came to all this?

- - - Updated - - -

I shake my head and can't even hear the fucking conversation? I mean when does who and how even let go? I'm fucking grown now.

- - - Updated - - -

Nah it's not my religion or culture and I'm not going to sit here being forced to circle with them bitches either.

- - - Updated - - -

It feels like theyre trying to bitch me down into submission like I'm supposed to sit here and just take it.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't want to share my body with their demons either... believe me I have plenty of my own to handle. I'm tired of them bitches throwing me everything like I am their shield or trash can.

- - - Updated - - -

Just pull me out this shit for real... you think I want the site closed down? Nah!!!!! Like I just want to write and read and learn and like recover and move on. Nah I'm not trying to disclose too much either. Just trying to get help and to make them all stop.

- - - Updated - - -

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...3RtIrGOBQBnQ4D

And if they did that to your bitch... what would you do? TIRED AS FUCK DAWG!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW... between the pins and all too like

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...hwkdkwXdS10SNq

- - - Updated - - -

RUNNING ME INTO THE GROUND FOR WHAT?

- - - Updated - - -

i just stay away from pretty much everybody now... except the ones I know I can trust god to trust.

- - - Updated - - -

You can't even hit a bitch awake faggot?

- - - Updated - - -

Nah that shit funny though... right?

- - - Updated - - -

I didn't know... now I do and hell no I never even messed with that man.

- - - Updated - - -

Nah it wasn't like this before I woke up...

- - - Updated - - -

Nah it's one thing to hit a woman... but when you hit one only cause she don't know and can't hit you back? You brought yourself down to a whole new level of scum for real. WHY? What reason did you even have?

- - - Updated - - -

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1Q...LkGEl0684FeGOr

Just trying to stand back up and to feel safe again. Do you even comprehend how hard it is to even do my hair or make up anymore? I'm not trying to let myself go now either. HATE ME FOR WHAT???? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT SHIT TO ME?

- - - Updated - - -

One day I'm going to be able to say I will fuck you up and mean it again...

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah he's showing me again too at the same time. I couldn't even comprehend why my eyes used to hurt putting make up on type stupid. Cause you swear shit impossible...

[A Disciple]

Like the taps and sick shit and hurting my body... I can't respect or cosign that - how do I get the abusive freak that was supposed to be watching over me off me too?