Self Portrait
As I stare in the mirror, and see the lens focused on my appearance,
I see nothing but doubt covering all my past experiences...
What happened the last few weeks, for me to become a changed man?
But with the same face and same glance, but are these really my hands?
I have committed multiple sins in one night of clouded darkness
I was kicked me off the mount and left alone and path-less
The people seem heartless and faces covered with masks
But I ask my conscience, where the hell is my heart
The blood drips from the knife I equip with a firm hold
To sign the deed, in exchange given a burned soul
The room’s cold but I know that I sold my body to the devil
Quietness begins to settle, but my past stripped of all its medals
To make money for a life that I am no longer living
A life consisting of killing for only a mere shilling
To hand my bills in, for the family that once existed
But how was I to know that a reunion was not permitted
I would not have signed the contract otherwise and given up life
Money didn’t earn me anything but strife in one night
A done deal to seal the light of my existence,
No will written to present or any form of accepted forgiveness
I remain wish-less and non ambitious, nothing to earn to pay for the bill
But serve the devil and accept the missions to kill,
My mind is infected and ill, blank, emotion-less and shattered
Nothing matters more than the life that once mattered
Several lives have passed before my eyes, bodies collapsed and drowned
But without a frown, I kill the victim and collect the worthless pounds
I look at the self-portrait of the innocent young man
Who stood high and proud and had a innocent young hand
But his job had overcome and taken over and erased his own life
Taken away from his wife, and hidden in the shade after that night...
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