red yellow green
set in a mellow swing
fed by the fellow sing
sing fellow sing
his words true
bring freedom ring
when it ring what does it mean
truth unseen
we cant be solo on a team
but we can get so low as to be mean
red yellow green....
the colors run
many colors under the sun
but in our veins there is only one
Jah Jah Love
haha. this was good bro. lots of fun. Its has a light touch that most poem on relegious issues dont have. Jah love, I guess.
keep posting.
I'm not sure what "jah jah" is, but this poem had a very mellow feel to it, I'm guessing the main concept was a Jamaican reference? It was a very soothing poem and I think you did a good job balancing your diction. It was wrote with simple vocab, but sometimes simple is better.
Good poem
The Assassin
Nightmares
You have them, I'm in them
"we cant be solo on a team
but we can get so low as to be mean"
My favorite line. You really have passion for what you've written, and it shows. Very simple approach, but I think I like that approach. I'm not sure if you've done that on purpose but I think it worked well with this piece. It seemed to me that this poem was a very complex idea put in simple words as it is easy to feel the way you do.
The Legion
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HoF x5
Originally Posted by Rastaman
This had a very reggae feel, after reading your name & the use of "Jah Jah..." I remember Bob marley & Everton Blender & Joe Hicks (Might no be the right name, but remember his stuff,)
I enjoyed it. It was simple, I liked red yellow green and using them as a metaphor for things passing through. This was a nice calm little poem that wasn't outstanding but still nice.
I'd like to have seen it a bit longer though, it looks really simple and is one of those you probably wrote quite sudden, and revision and extension could improve it.
Good work
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