Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: The Bakery

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! the_origin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    West Philly
    Posts
    110

    The Bakery

    how many times we recycle the same stories
    anticdotes that define our being and give us glory
    embelished wit a sprinkle of popular inventory
    the elements that must exist in order not to bore me
    the recipe is different but the ingredients similar
    theres 3 added preservatives 2 bake a perfect verse up
    growin up ghetto seems to be the first up
    talkin bout ya first pack and first time that you fucked
    when you got ya first gat and first time that it bussed
    first time you had a fight first time that you cussed
    first time u grabbed a mic and had shit to discuss
    when u first found that every hood is jus like us
    next up ya reputation establish ya credibility
    this where i speak of people and places that may remember me
    remind em of my gangsta a little joggin they memory
    they give me thier approval they've added another entity
    the third is ya delivery explain ya shit vividly
    pay attention to detail if not ya verse will derail
    describe the scene so ya audience sees it visually
    pick ya stories well depicting times when u pre-vail
    2 eggs, pour in a bunt and bake at 3 and a quater
    give it 20 minutes and that should cover the order
    every verse individually baked to perfection
    so tell me ur recipe for ur verse's confection

    the origin
    notice when i'm posted and feed me when u see me

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    S.C.
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,522
    Battle Record
    18-28

    Re: The Bakery

    You're getting better and better man......I really am looking forward to seeing more of your pieces cause i know you're gonna be ill.......

    Liked this piece loved how you referred storytelling to Baking a good cake......
    just like the cake in the piece you added the things a good rhyme needs...
    Example:

    theres 3 added preservatives 2 bake a perfect verse up
    growin up ghetto seems to be the first up
    talkin bout ya first pack and first time that you fucked
    when you got ya first gat and first time that it bussed
    first time you had a fight first time that you cussed
    first time u grabbed a mic and had shit to discuss
    when u first found that every hood is jus like us.....
    loved the topic coz it was hella original and hasn't been explored before till I seen this piece....

    I'll give it a 7/10........

    keep elevating^^^....ur making the OM section look Good.

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Va
    Age
    35
    Posts
    78

    Re: The Bakery

    Yo thats hott and creative
    Structure 8-10

    Fav line
    this where i speak of people and places that may remember me
    remind em of my gangsta a little joggin they memory
    I'm a real emcee cuz I devour the beat/ I'm like a pastor I just need a few hours to speak/I'm a shark mufucka and reality bites/My lyrics come to my mind so i barely write (Lil' Flip)

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! the_origin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    West Philly
    Posts
    110

    Re: The Bakery

    good look on the feedback yall
    notice when i'm posted and feed me when u see me

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •