My Southern Bell
The luster of your lips
send my dreams a sweet kiss
you elegant fragence i miss
from your love i could sip
and give you my heart a thousand times
until your finally mine
hair made for a goddess a mind
equally devine
a true gift
that could lift
any broken spirit
you transmit
such radiance
you just pull me in
and make me chant " I can't wait until i see my southern bell again"
Last edited by Truth Iscariot; February 28th, 2007 at 07:32 AM
AI
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
simple but powerful.. i enjoyed reading it.. very emotional.. it sounds to me like you got yourself a good lady, man.. share this piece with her.. she'll love it.. not much i can really say in regards of this.. its short, ya know.. so im'a just leave it as this.. ill keep an eye out for more from you..
lol @ the sig...
lol thanks
AI
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Yeh i liked this it was short but very nice, it had great emotion in there and nice rhyming of the short lines man, it left you with a sense of awe in the back of my mind when i had done reading this, overall a really good piece truth. Stay up.
-Thomas.
Legend.
RB Original.
Meta. Convicts.
18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.
yes thanks an up
AI
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Very poetic, rhyme scheme was simple but still mostly effective, in the last line, not sure the word 'chant' fits here, maybe could have used a different word for better effect, overall though simple piece. Havent seen much of you lately lw, keep dropping
please peep http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328370
A few achievements here and there
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
yeah thanks iwill hit links up tonight
AI
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
rhyme scheme was simple. still it carried alot of emotion regardless. sometimes after reading poems like this, i wonder what it'd be like to have a chick who made me feel this way. see somehow i get stuck with those snotty hot chicks who make no sense to me.. so eventually i end up kickin' them out, lol. however back to the piece.. thanks for the read. nice and smooth. keep the good work up.
peace.
thanks
AI
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
It was a pretty simple poem but it has a real personal feel to it. The brevity was an issue, i think you could maybe flesh out the lines a bit more. But what do i know? I liked it man, 1luv.
Laying face down in the mainstream.Po.Ethics.
Posting Rules
Reply With Quote