http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...13#post4567513
yea now return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...13#post4567513
yea now return the favour.
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24 x OM Hall Of Fame
I'm going to get to it, just doing some shit right now but the feed will be there.
excellent peice...i liked it...very good rhymes
nice multies...basically perfect flow throughout.
structure was nice and even...vocab was nice
complexity and imagery was tight..overall thi s was tight
keep it up guyz.
aight thanks for the feed. much appreciation. and witness i got at that om for ya. good drop. uppin for more.
The R. -The Illest Ever Kid-
First think i noticed was small lines to prevent the first glimpse of stretched lines....2nd think i noticed was you went line for line.....my first impression was hmmm a set up for disaster (in all honesty).....Although as i got to reading i immediately had to let go of that initial thought for i was trully impressed on how well you guys went line for line..and kept it flowing and kept yoru styles similiar so it did not throw of the piece.....you two worked magically together keeping the strory line (which was well thougth/written) to just keep on goin ...trully taken back by that..... then as for the small print/stretched lines....there is a key to making stretched lines work and i thought you both nailed that cure...you put in emotion/internals/wordplay/vocab etc in each line to keep the reader interested so they kept reading...that was also impressive....i honestly had to say i was so into the fact you were able to overcome those 2 tough tasks i got lost in the words .....so i skimmed back over it, and thought you captured the history of war in a nice storyline very well...it was like a history lesson put in real/exciting words to make it not seem so historic yet like it was there in your face...overall COLLAB was greatly planned out and executed....as for the piece itself well written good job of keepin it flown overall just very nice wording...n thought out concept...
much respect on this one.
Succeed Without Fear
Written Voices
werd. Thanks man. bump
Originally Posted by The Witness.
You cant even diss the line length cause the rymed inside the lines multiple times
like look
Paranoia sets in, takings steps cautiously, as I see the red coats approach,
I hop the side of the coach, my men steadily line side by side ready to encroach,
Step on a roach, murders and killings will be abrupt, scream at my men Attention,
Alright Gents, lets have prevention of this dispicable army having time for redemption,
Not a soul is getting exemption, we're fighting this war for the freedom of our great nation,
they ryme oach 4 times then tion 4 times as well in 4 bars as too most people would put it like this
Paranoia sets in, takings steps cautiously, as I see the red coats approach,
I hop the side of the coach
my men steadily line side by side ready to encroach,
Step on a roach, murders and killings will be abrupt, scream at my men Attention,
Alright Gents, lets have prevention
of this dispicable army having time for redemption,
Not a soul is getting exemption,
we're fighting this war for the freedom of our great nation,
Something like that I might be crazy or i might be right this piece was dope too bad it annit good nuff for HOF but its prbz close as you can get without getin in
Drop some feed i'll RTF
Convict Cliff.Hanger Ft Baron
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umm ok. thanks for the feed. lookin for more peeps.
The R. -The Illest Ever Kid-
listen dude I'm not one for arguing [\I'malyingbastard] but the lines were to long,it didn't take away from the excellent content,it just made it that little bit harder to read...I'm done,sorry for the post dudes.
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24 x OM Hall Of Fame
its alright son. just get your point across. i understand what you mean about the lines. its all good no hate.. uppin for some more feed.
The R. -The Illest Ever Kid-
damn I liked the way you went one line each that shit was impressive,and if you weren't together while you were writing it,it is even more impressive.You both complimented each other and brought two different styles and made them fit in together perfectly,I honestly can't say which part is my favourite because I was impressed with every part of this.
Ok guys this was some impressive shit and I really liked it.IsIs my man you never fail to amaze me.The shit you have been dropping this days is HoF and you will get one,one of these days I garentee that.Dusk I never read any of your pieces before but you did v well here.Some of your lines were very impressive.You both showed some very good creativity and your imagery was very good.Keep this up guys.
Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
So far so good.....
So far so good.....
So far so good.....
But how you fall doesn't matter
Its how you land
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