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Thread: spittin fire (no special title)

  1. #1
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    spittin fire (no special title)

    ayo im hustlin on these streets, i make moves like a chess game
    tell my man pass me the mack i got the best aim
    when it comes to the pain and hurt i've felt plenty
    when it comes to the caine and purp i've delt twentys
    aint had no pops so O.G's were my role models
    get it how u live it homeboy thats the hood motto
    i dont affiliate wit rats and snakes
    cuz they first to testify when i catch a case
    i'd rather just blast they face,
    and get back 2 my block wit that hash and haze,and stack my pay
    the courts say damn this niggas trapped in his ways
    he gon end up slained or trapped in a cage
    nigga im in the projects like the brix itself
    hollows in the clip nigga it tips itself
    you try 2 come 2 my brix and start flashing ya money
    my lil nigga p will bring tha mack to you dummys

  2. #2
    :.There will be Blood.:
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    :.My Mama.:
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    decent drop... flow was good as well as the structuree..
    get a lil bit more vocab in these OMs, this one was to simple...
    overall it was an allright drop
    :.Apollo .:

  3. #3
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    another banger and the part about p is right mos definite keep doin wat u doin my nigga let these niggas kno about bowdoin u b cool how u b cool water

  4. #4
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    aiight..im glad to say..i liked the aspects of this piece...youve elevated alot since the first thing i read from you...wordplay wasnt to badd...good rhyme scheme and you had a bit of complexity....vocab was ok for this pieces topic..but i didnt honestly like tha topic..something more artistic would have been ill but never the less this was tha best piece ive seen from you so far..hit up tha link in my sig titled Concrete Roses..id appreciate it.`1~


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  5. #5
    Par-War
    Guest
    This was nice. Not alot of people around here really study the whole gagsta theme but your piece definatly had some depth to it. Nice vocabulary and ryhme structure..blablabla, I dont like to get into the technical stuff. Keep doin what ya doin and do you, But do it wit style. haha. Aight man
    Peace

  6. #6
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    good look ya'll 4 tha replies and Par War i feel you but this is all i know so its all i talk about

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Not my kind of drop..but you did have flow and internal rhymes.
    I would say to add a little more vocabulary,but for the kind of drop it was,i think you did it fairly well.
    +1541 DALC

    Pulsating angel undulating beneath 44,000 leagues of utter chaos...

    Knowledge radiating through linear distribution of the industrial cove...

    Molding the intangible ethreal fabric of a glossopalatinus marzipan....
    -Archspecies 8

    NOTHING WILL STOP MY ACHE!
    I WANNA FUCK ALL THIS SHIT I HAVE TO TAKE!!
    My enlightened state of mind my desperate DECISION!
    I find serenity in so much,pain,
    Slit my wrists and let my body,drain,
    Clench my fists and let my life slip,away,
    Cuz' only she can stop all this,pain,
    And only she can stop this fucking,pain,
    I just wish these sick thoughts would..GO AWAY
    And fucking stop the ache thats down deep inside.-Suicide of The Cephalo Pictorial

    When Im down to my last breath,
    Im gonna climb the empire state building-
    Get to the last step,and still have half left.-Eminem

  8. #8
    SunSpit
    Guest
    Nice drop right hurr man. I'm feelin da hood/project talk shit cuz dats da life i live 2. Nice structure and flow. Juss work on da vocab n u good. Keep droppin. 1

  9. #9
    That Was Nice And The Punchlines Was On-point

  10. #10
    Sammy B
    Guest
    I've seen this type of piece before and you didn't bring much originality to it. Definately need a different topic, or a more complex verse as a whole. Simple for the most part, kind of overused type topic, but it had some good aspects to it. Need to focus on bringing more of your own flare to it, because I've seen verses like this before and yours didn't really stand out.

    return the feedback
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224626

  11. #11
    That was pretty sweet man, but i have to agree wit Sammy

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