-How Could Love Hurt In So Many Ways-

[LadyL050]

Someone 1nced asked me
How could something so beautiful like love
Hurt Someone in so many ways

My answer to that is
Sometimes Love can fall into the wrong hands
And Love can suddenly turn into a game

Thats how it was with me,
When i was just that lost souL
I always gave out my love but too much of it showed

It was like everyone i dated i suddenly fell for
didnt mater what n*gga i had cuz i always said
I Love You and that i wanted you to give me more

But now that i look back at all my foolish ways
I start noticing that the word I Love You
It was just something nice that i wanted 2 say

I started dating when i was just 12 years old
never said "i Love You" until my heart wanted to grow
and my heart or my mind started growin out of control
So with that there...how else was i too know

Even when i got in my first real relationship
i told that 1 special person i loved him
that too was just that little faze i was in

It never really hit me until the day my love turnt into a game
cuz i played him so many times
it was like pieces was missing and nothing was the same

After we broke up... i finally found out what love really was
Now im afraid to love again
My Love i must never again show

Love fell into the wrong hands...thats why it hurted so much
When Love felt my hands, i feared it would leave
and now my fears of loving came stronger....
But its also weak

[Sublime D]

you can say nigga on this site...as long as there's an artistic reason...

ill edit with a more detaled response

[spokenoh]

^Knew you were gonna hit this up, pervert.

[Maven.]

^don't diss pervs, they make good music. like MJ.

anyways, i enjoyed this, to a degree. It was really really simple. Childishly simple. Which isn't so bad, just that it can be boring for a reader. I suggest using some poetic devices, you know, basic shit you learn in school (ie. Metaphors, similes, personification, even symbolism). It's not so hard to work them into a poem, and then it makes your writing more captivating to read.

Other than that, this was pretty. It made me want to go "aww" and give you a hug. But in not in a creepy internet stalker way. Your emotion was clear, and the story/in-depth-talk-through-thingy was a good addition, gave one a little more meat in the reading.

pretty decent, but like i said, throw in some poetic devices and everything will go uphill.

Be Well =)

[Moniker]

^Is that a ghost? or is Maven back?... and LMAO at the random feedback.

I'll reply to this piece soon.

[mindone]

Damn that hit really close ta home. You sound like my girl friend talkin ta me about how she is gonna want me back, but no matter what i cant get with her because of how she hurt me.
I felt lots of emotion, goood topic. I dunno it was just somethin i could feel.
keep writtin.

[TERROR CONVICT]

Your poem was direct but it was exucuted in a very simplistic manner.
Use more complex structure, vocab, lyrics and pretty much everything.

I understand your point of view even though it's highly niave, cuz I got into tha circle of love very young so I understand where u come from.
aight peace.

Return tha favor and reply on my threadz peace.

[LadyL050]

I dont think im a childish poet.... im not the type to write using all those poetic structure type things....but i think ill take that into consideration......

Thankyou for the tips and feedback....

1Luv