Reach Me
The blade of the knife tore through my chest
Piercing my heart and tearing my inner vains
The poison added for pain is quick to attack my insides
And I can feel my organs within begin to collapse
Tightening around them feels asthough an outside being is aiding in my pain
But then I see her face and suddenly the pain ceases
Her touch lightens immensely the tightened grasp on my organs
And my blood stops pooring
For the pain has ended
And she has finally reached me.
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Nice piece....Had some much felt emotion...You even had a couple of decent rhymes... Im not sure if you were going for that or not but it worked out very well...
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120182
^^^^
my first poetry piece so be nice
It Was Overall I Nice Piece Thought I Could Have Needed Better Flow.....it Had Decent Rhymes
I Was Really Feeling It ....
But Overal Needs Work
.. /..........................7/10
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