Me Be Different

[Civilized Rebel]

Me Be Different

If I'm part of the human race, I won't run in this race
This campaign of pain won't pass wind past my face
I won't ever even place because I won't ever make it
I'll dissapate in this place before I ever take it
Before I take a place I'll clean it off, I've seen enough
I'm not tough enough to keep my place in good taste
But what is really good taste if I can't taste my tongue
If you could taste my tongue for me how's it taste?

Hold all these emotions swiftly in a brief case
A brief case of emotional damage god dammit I planned it
Not to be the way it is but I lost the race so I hand it
A new olive branch to branch off a wing of a bird
But the hospital wing was built over burial grounds of the bird
And I realize I won't ever fly again
Not that I could, I could not
So I bother not to finish a race, I never leave the starting block

I could not, ever understand the wind upon her knees
Like she was satisfying the flying aerial trainies
As we jump off the top rope do we get such pleasure?
But not me, I only get pleasure when I land
On this land that we built, free of the home, land of the brave
I realized I'm just an outdustrial commercialized slave
To advertise the lives that we've all gotta pay
But the dues I lose when I used the fuse to say

Shock me, say something halfway decently intelligemental
I've gone mental in a storm of words thrown torrential
Like storms, but I'm not a nigress goddess of weather
I'm only a man and in his hand a peice of leather
For love aint forever, and I aint for whoever
And I aint gonna be ever staying together with you
Whoever you may think you are to bring wind to her knees
To get eaten out worse than my flesh with fleas

But I'm like a flea even though they eating me
I'm still insignificant and I jump really far
Does that make them cannibals or are they going too far?
How many more thoughts can I provoke for you to see?
But not me, can never be seemed, ever be gleamed
It's too easy to learn to hate, but forget me not
So I took the thought and ripped it apart at the seam
So it means that I could never ever remember it not
Never ever remember the spot
Seven upwards and to the right or wrong directions
These lessons I learned are like bricks to the head
They hurt, But I won't ever let it show
Mostly cause I like it, also they would know
And they may teach me but I will never let them learn
If they learn of my pain once again I shall burn
I'm sick of the fire
And you won't ever tell me different

Don't make me be different.

Make me be different.

Me be different.

Things lost in translation. What about Don'tness?

[Absolute Power]

ok...well ive been replyin to pieces all night that have 0 responses....and so far all have been really short...but this isnt and i cant for the life of me understand why its getting slept on....

the rhyme scheme u had flow'd nicely...kept the piece on top an usually rhyme comes out sounding forced an ish, but u did a great job of keep in it real

i seriously have to many lines to quote but this stood out to me the most:

But I'm like a flea even though they eating me
I'm still insignificant and I jump really far
Does that make them cannibals or are they going too far?
How many more thoughts can I provoke for you to see?

good ish...hope to read mo from u

return the fav plz

[Civilized Rebel]

Thanks, I guess.

Y'know the lack of replies wouldn't be so bad if it at least had a few more veiws.

[Neruda II]

damn.....First of all i HAVE to say taht the wordplay was amazing, almost everyline was play on, and deep. This is what people should look to when they want to know the definition of wordplay. Great job.

Aesthetically it was great, almost everything was perfect. Let me explain. Message was somewhere along the lines of being unique, alone, or your own person. well, thats just the way i interperated it. The length was a big long, but all and all it was a good read the whole way through. Vocab was strong, and varied the alot, and helped the wordplay. Feeling was there but it wasnt a type of feeling that people think about much, it was there but hard to hold on to it.....It was genius. Metaphors were strong, with alot of it made sense in some way, but also made me chuckle a lil bit on the inside, very witty. Structure was flawless, was even all the way through, and was "different" at the end, which added a good effect to the piece. Rhyme scheme was very excellent, and regardless of the ammount of wordplay, it was still good the whole way through. which is hard to do, well at least for me.

To summarize it, Almost perfect, I just wish there was more emotion. You are definetely up there with the 3 top poets on the site.

-KID-

[Neruda II]

uppin, i think more ppl should read this. i like it alot. ppl could learn sumtin from ya.

[phoenix808]

I wish I could rhyme like this. My god if I could rhyme like this. Beautiful... I don't think I've read a piece in this section that ever flowed so well with so complex a rhyme scheme. you had internal rhymes as well as all of the end rhyme. simply put: Wow.
peace

[mcBUtiful]

Some people like us make the world special by just being in it