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Thread: The Sky...

  1. February 6th, 2004, 02:36 PM #16
    'PercepTion'
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    --[Flow]---
    Flow was ferocious....loved the way ti was stuctured, was on-point, fluent n' consistant throughout the 3 stanza's....& the rhymes were complex, wern't simple, wern't obvious or apparent...

    some good rhymes:
    "Ever swirling patterns.. Encrypted into the sky.. The cloud
    Tatooed masses of vapour...
    ... Imprinted on the blue background"

    "Craning necks leer.. Dumb-struck faces all point upwards
    Sharp beams of light pierce...
    ... And gleam like polished swords"

    --[Vocab]--
    Vocab was brutal, you had some dope lines in there, n' the vocab added depth and complexity to it....Words were relative, not irrelevant to the piece...helped to visualise the imagry and the picture you were painting.

    --[Concept]--
    Concept was full of originality, loved the way you portrayed it...imagry [as i said above] was real n' opaque..., but, was it just a piece about how the sky changes or was it mean't as a metaphor...were you praying, lookin' for inspiration, help??

    --[Overall]--
    Amazing piece, filled with amazin' imagry....Flow as i said was ferocious..., n' the concept was filled with originality n' real emotion...4.8....dope.
    Open Mic's


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  2. February 6th, 2004, 05:32 PM #17
    Meks.
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    nice piece here....dopeness.....liked your imagery...it was awesome man.... really had my attention with this drop....consistancy and the topic itself was good...fresh....vocab was good....flow was good throughout... prolly ur best OM yet....
    good work keep at it...your improving very much so......9/10....
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  3. February 7th, 2004, 07:11 AM #18
    Freeman
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    Thanks everyone...

    To the top with you...

    Pz...

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  4. February 8th, 2004, 09:27 AM #19
    Freeman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freeman
    Thanks everyone...

    To the top with you...

    Pz...
    ^indeed

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  5. February 8th, 2004, 09:41 AM #20
    J.Essen
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    This was an ill Open Mic. I like how you did the Italic to make it look like a pen writing. Good vocab and wordplay. Keep up the good work.
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  6. February 8th, 2004, 04:37 PM #21
    Freeman
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    Thanks...

    And upped

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  7. February 9th, 2004, 08:13 AM #22
    Freeman
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    Same again...

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  8. February 9th, 2004, 08:23 AM #23
    Nic Caesar
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    hmmm... this was ok... didn't really catch my eye at any point... but it was an ok drop... had to force my self... not too ill... but i've seen 10000000000 times worse... no dout... just keep at it... an that one kid be madd dissin you...

    Caesar - On3

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  9. February 9th, 2004, 08:25 AM #24
    Freeman
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    You^.. Son... Have no idea what you are talking about... Idiot...

    And if you check Open Mic... You will see a diss from me aimed at him...

    So once again... Idiot...

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  10. February 9th, 2004, 08:28 AM #25
    Nic Caesar
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    no IDIOT... I never said that u didn't diss back you dumbass... practically putting... the shyt he wrote was nice... nothing further said...

    soo once again... IDIOT

    Caesar - On3

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  11. February 9th, 2004, 08:29 AM #26
    Freeman
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    Out my thread hoe

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  12. February 10th, 2004, 05:00 AM #27
    Freeman
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    Upping...

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  13. February 10th, 2004, 05:28 AM #28
    Reeco
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    Day...

    An inverted orb.. Concave mirror reflecting the paleness of the land
    An ever changing mass of colour...
    ... It is something that is never bland
    good contrast
    Ever swirling patterns.. Encrypted into the sky.. The cloud
    Tatooed masses of vapour...
    ... Imprinted on the blue background
    r u gay?? lol, nice line
    Colour so pure.. Smoothness erupts at you from every direction
    Such a deep and meaningful blue...
    ... It is truly perfection
    nice close for the first part


    Sunset...

    The Sun collides with the horizon.. Releasing a magnificent array of beams
    Such a sight is unthinkable...
    ... Not even inside peoples dreams
    Really good line, props
    Awe inspiring vision.. Such a glorious wonder of the world to behold
    Amazing natural brilliance...
    ... Is something that never could be controlled
    ok
    Something so wonderful.. A sight that could easily be a mirage of the mind
    The horizon and the Sun become as one...
    ... Light and Dark start become intertwined
    shit hot line!!!!!!

    Night...

    A mingled mass.. Shining array of pin-holes in the canvas of the sky
    Beautifully crafted by a master worksman...
    ... It could bring a tear to your eye
    nice
    Craning necks leer.. Dumb-struck faces all point upwards
    Sharp beams of light pierce...
    ... And gleam like polished swords
    ok, didnt really think upwards and swords worked tho
    Affection from the sky.. A message passed down through the night
    No matter how glum the face...
    ... The Sky can fill it with delight
    nice end

    Once again a nice concept on this spit, which i think you potrayed beutifully. good flow as alway and structure, nice use of words also. keep em cummin!! 9.5/10

    PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOUR ON MY BATTLE UNDER MY SIG. DONT JUDGE ME ON HOW I BATTLE IN THIS BATTLE THO, DIDNT TRY HARD AT ALL, COZ I DIDNT NEED TO!!
    .

    -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Doper Than You-


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  14. February 10th, 2004, 08:24 AM #29
    Mantra
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    The Sky

    Wow... your drops are always setting the standard and this one is no different. Stunning imagery and excellent creativity. Nice word selection,
    it really helps you visualize.Also flowed very smoothy. Very nice...
    keep turnin' em' out..always enjoyable to read. Peace.
    ...
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  15. February 10th, 2004, 02:32 PM #30
    Freeman
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    Thank you, you two...

    And up we go...

    Pz...

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