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Thread: Second Thoughts

  1. #1
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    Second Thoughts

    double-o seven/how my personality been shaped
    southsideloco/my 1st freestyle
    LA_4 Life/A Better 2morro:Never B peace

    What do you do when a man loves you, and you love him to, when pride controls you
    Reminded him I quit u, he told me tru luv is 2 few, my hart ill always blong 2 u
    He's not luvd by my family, But we got along merrily, when I told my mother wearily,
    da shit we did barely, she nvr judgd em fairly, but maybe she thot it thru mor carfuly,
    Than what I ever would, more than a lover should, wit more thought than I could

    CHORUS:
    The roses are red, and violets more than blue
    Stil rembr thingz unsed, suspicon of you untru
    My thotz msled, listnd 2 rumors shoulda knew
    Ur hart infestd my hed, my hart comitd to you

    Ur born comedian 2 fun-e, lips taste like sweet honey, wit pockets lined wit money
    One thing you always loved me, and that's very eaxy to see, always said I'm lovely
    So people wonder why I let you go, Hell now I don't even know, my hart is sinkin low
    Causing my soul 2 feel cold 40 blow, evrytime you ask me I say no, but I luv u so
    Ez 2 c that ur da luv of my lif, sory 4 da long livd hart strife, mayb soon bcome ur wife

    CHORUS:
    The roses are red, and violets more than blue
    Stil rembr thingz unsed, suspicon of you untru
    My thotz msled, listnd 2 rumors shoulda knew
    Ur hart infestd my hed, my hart comitd to you

    I awake 2 a new dawn dfrent day, Im done with the mind play, forever we will stay
    Refus 2 let ur hart slip away, I remain urs til enday, regardless of hardtime or payday
    This is where my life waivers, when our harts mend together, this is the time I savor
    Gives our lif flavor, I call it soap opera glamor, at the next chance 2 luv u ill clamor
    Breath ur breath like air, The situation is quite unfair, Jus trust 4evr ill b there

    CHORUS:
    The roses are red, and violets more than blue
    Stil rembr thingz unsed, suspicon of you untru
    My thotz msled, listnd 2 rumors shoulda knew
    Ur hart infestd my hed, my hart comitd to you

  2. #2
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    This was alright i thought....your structure was ok, the lines were kinda stretched out but you had the internals and multies to make it work for you though....flow was alright in this, could be a bit better i thought...chorus was alright i thought...overall alright piece...keep at it.

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