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Thread: A Disciple's Thread

  1. #1666
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    After what he said and did I shouldn’t but I am worried about him he don’t deserve all that

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    Just give me back to Ced so he can get me to my bd then… NOW I know why I didn’t hear him at the door

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    Maybe I should’ve pulled it

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    Nah I think I was blessed cause I didn’t thought

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    Honestly right now I really don’t knowb

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    Honestly right now I really don’t knowb
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    CLA919

  2. #1667
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    this is the last song i sent you



    this is the one im listening to now



    and i was listening to this on the way here

    Last edited by Candy; February 11th, 2024 at 07:24 PM
    curious más curioso y más curioso

  3. #1668
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Im sorry for the pink dick comment but now you understand my situation and why. I did try to date a white guy again too and he disrespected me

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    NOW I SAY NEVER AGAJIN

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    You crazy for setting up the kkk too for real… I want no parts of racism
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    CLA919

  4. #1669
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I agree I don’t even want to be me and it should never happen again m


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    Just praying I can be myself again

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    Nobody’s body is replaceable, why do you think bodies are cars? I believe bodies are sacred too

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    What I don’t like is the non denominational cause like if Jesus died for hell he probably does or is gonna run shit and that’s why his book isn’t out yet… I want peace they want war - well go over there and fight each other and leave us free huggers alpine

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    Tree huggers alons*

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    I’m fighting for the basement too

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    I left my tattoo artist cause she said angels don’t be in hell…. The hell they not

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    What makes me mad about Mika keep on peeing on the couch… it didn’t even dawn on me to let him be an outside cat

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    You’re destroying my family too

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    I’m going to delete it

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    9 of them was in one year I think when and if I got shot - why won’t they even confirm that cause I got sick in school again why my friend showed me her scars

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    Not telling me or helping me deal with reality is making me sick - so like who and where is my “expert”

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    WTF is going on?

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    I need help

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    Nah the fucked up and scary shit - is that I assume the psychs already know that and it’s not fair

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    Why do people help people like them and not me

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    I need income

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    Just per se with disability I was insane 9x in one year 2-5 days each time is 45 absences and that doesn’t even include the 3 months recovery time… who the hell is not going to fire you if you have 45 absences in one year

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    Why does disability refuse to help me and my family too.

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    Does psych run the governemt now too? and that’s what’s scary

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    Cause they run the hospitals

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    At least mine do

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    I don’t know how or who to go to for help I’ve already had 2-3 lawyers

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    Yo it’s so easy for me to be healthy yeah if I’m having fun not tortured

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    I don’t need much to be happy either and prefer to make my own money

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    But my brain truly does need the recovery time

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    Help me deal with reality too

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    Because they have everyone against me

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    I lost this job the one I was at 5 yrs on their command too

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    Can they go check my absences while there?

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    How many days was I out of work?

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    Not fucking faking and I’m refusss to be a free loading bitch

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    And we can prove it’s only on THEIR demand

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    How does anybody deal with that?

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    HOW DO I GET DISABILITY UNTIL THEY LEAVE ME ALONE

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    I LOVE MONEY WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE WANT TO LIVE ON 1500 a month if it’s even that now?

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    I used to make that in a week it’s not fair

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    How am I desperate for attention if I bought a basic model Kia after they hurt it… I don’t want attention I want help

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    I want to heal and get better too

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    To be honest… trusting and listening to them made me worse

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    They won’t help or let me deal with reality either

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    I’m tired of humiliating myself too

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    My rape wasn’t anyone’s business and I screamed it every where because they didn’t even help me understand threat I was raped

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    That I was*

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    That’s why they dismisssed my case when I stole the car

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    And left me bleeding black thinking it’s cause I was a vampire - why are they making me delusional

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    I’ve never had a dr longer then like 5 years so if there is one longer or any idk about ARREST THEM

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    Scared as fuck because Dr Fox was my dr too

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    Nah we have to delete this thread and I lose great work but oh well

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    Eventually not now cause my bf is right it’s a threat to me that everyone know I’m weak too

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    I IUST NEED HELP THEYRE SCARING ME!

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    Just want to earn money and help too by writing the normal stuff I write when I’m healthy and happy

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    I hate psych didn’t take one class so how they didn’t know that and do it on purpose

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    Who did this to me on purpose and why?

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    I haven’t been sane since I was shot and everyone tell me know I wasn’t shot too

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    Everyone say I wasn’t shot too*

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    The absences from school is the result of seeing my friends graze wounds healing to

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    I glitched cleared accounts so my bf lost trust in me too

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    Ex boyfriend sorry - we’re trying friends now

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    I want to get better too…

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    Peace and comfort in my own body instead of abuse would help… EVERYONE deserves peace and comfort in their own body

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    You can’t demand to own a rape victim it’s just gonna end bad and I pray not for everybody or innocent people

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    It just feels like they are doing it on purpose

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    Why is everyone letting them get away with it they refuse to stop… that’s your culture not mine and I don’t like it

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    They knew I was raped and tied me to the bed in the hospital anyway

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    I wish I could make them understand what that feels like

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    Not sure who zipped me out and grateful it was like only 5 minutes I had to feel that

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    When I woke up the restraints were off but it was probably like when I was in atc after the rape how they shackled me to the chairs all night and took me out and put me on the chair with pillow and blanket 10 minutes before the nurses came in

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    They’re off the hook

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    The police did it because I was so mad when I woke up and saw my old friend outside the car I went ballistic

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    I calmed down after cursing out the cop but they shackled me anyway

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    I was told I was hallucinating so when she called me a few years later I thought she grew up from the od of pills she gave me calming down only to realize just so it looks good for her and it wasn’t an accident she did it on purpose

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    We didn’t speak for years what was she even doing there?

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    How did she even know

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    I learned it’s no one’s business if you forgive them or not and you don’t give them a chance to do it again

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    As a result I am a slow learner now too

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    We stoped taking because she refused that she even gave me the pills even though my sister found them in her cabinet

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    We stopped talking because she refused to admit it*

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    I truly thought it was an accident though

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    Idgaf but they all refuse to stop or leave me alone and now no one.believes me

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    I realized how evil she got when I got home and called her to tell her Tim was still in jail and she hung up on me and said she was with her family laughing

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    THATS when I realized she was never my friend… why did she pretend to be though?

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    To be honest… I think doing evil shit makes you more evil the more you do it

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    That bitch is rabid

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    I heard she doing good now and it’s not my motive in getting justice I just am not going to sacrafice myself to her issues…

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    And socios shouldn’t run or own or have power over me

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    CLEAN UP YOUR OWJ MESS… even though she shot in the dark on a weekend I was up here I had NOTHING to do with it

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    I do recall someone weeding thru me though I. Like 04 years and years prior for a different reason…

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    I did see Ming a little tonight my boy said chicken head and my roads are still cutting off too

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    I despise magic

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    If I was driving the other night which I always do, me and my bf and another innocent person would probably be dead too… I kept screaming cause I thought he was running off the road etc

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    I don’t like hallucinating

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    And bitches like that shouldn’t have that power over people better than her

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    But that’s the dark that’s the light… I wait to heal and get better too

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    Want*

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    I don’t want the responsibly and I don’t like the rituals and such so I just don’t like witchcraft

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    I’d like to go back to car accidents should truly be an accident

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    You can’t demand to change my religion because you’re scared

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    Evidentially not anymore I’m the one scared instead

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    I saw that too… and I can’t wait until she kicks your mother fucking ass

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    I learned sometimes you just have to point the gun but be careful who holds it

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    I don’t want that responsibly either

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    I’m sure he was on coke but the autopsy would’ve proved that and you all wouldn’t have got the insurance mi not trying to start or open old wounds it’s just how I feel and it’s haunting me

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    And then you don’t even give the teenager that was left alone alone any? FOH

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    If o was a witch your power would be REVOKED

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    Almost alone*

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    That’s in the dark though so should probably be resolved that way too because I’m tired of being her Victim too

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    I think she’s the one that tied me

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    Literally can’t get up or move like you being held down type only there add no ropes you just don’t have the strength to move

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    Are no real ropes*

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    If you’re afraid someone can kick your ass why do you fuck with them?

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    The worst part is the bitch can fight too

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    Did he really get buried in Hawthorne? Or was that a lie to make me feel like it was my fault too?

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    Because when his son died too it was after I was tripping posting underwear shots he said wtf too

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    They won’t stop… people are not at your disposal especially people better than you and I don’t think it’s a coincidence

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    I wanted to write for him he could flow…

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    But to be honest I think other people are scared to help too

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    It makes me mad that people like us go down for people like them and I don’t understand why any god would allow it

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    Car accidents should truly be an accident

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    I feel it was on purpose

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    My neice flipped her car at 90mph too and she just turned 21

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    I used to speed for no reason too… she fractured her face and has epilepsy now and lost her own career in hair dressing because she can’t hold scissors until she hasn’t had a seizure for however long

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    She hasn’t been able to go back to work yet

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    I wish it was me instead

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    My roads are still cutting off too… LEAVE ME ALONE it’s not my fault your finally caught

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    I know there’s an after and I know hell is real too… and I feel like just cause you say sorry you’re still going there

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    Until you really are sorry

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    Bitch you’re sick for real

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    RABID

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    I really am trying to figure out why I’m in a hell on earth though… my god judges us in the after and I dodnt even do shit

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    My mom is lingering upstairs to be nosy and that’s her nature im cool with that but I miss being able to live alone

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    Privacy and my step dad is a control freak that hides my cigarettes and gives me a pack a day he hides sweets liquor etc… its ridiculous but I get it I just despise control freaks so it’s hard

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    In defense they pay for the cigs and sometimes I do smoke more than a pack a day

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    At 45 it sucks to be forced to do what you’re told

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    I can’t get up and leave it’s a blizzard

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    To be honest I rhink it makes me worse

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    If I had my own money etc

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    Not have to ask for every dollar and tell them exactly where I spend it etc… but I get it

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    Do you?

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    I’m miserable

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    Get out of my body and waving my hand

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    I don’t like or respect you or this religion either

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    What? Are they doing to stand outside my door until I go to sleep?

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    I don’t want to

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    I’m not putting this on my parents I’m putting it on Crabtree Toyota

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    If they come to the door and I don’t open it I go to the hospital but I don’t want to cause I’m smoking in my room

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    So I’m pretty much fucked either way lol

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    I miss being functional

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    Prolong this for what?!?

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    If I turn on the tv she will know that I’m up

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    So I guess I HAVE TO go to sleep

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    Nah my ex that is still my friend isn’t allowed in the house anymore and if we have to go to hotel to hang out neither one of us can afford it
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    CLA919

  5. #1670
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    It feels like someone is taking away my peace and comfort of ties to anybody who helps on purpose

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    The sick shit is what I tried sending back they use it to stop my sex life it feels like too

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    THATS what happened again too

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    You spelled her name wrong PRICK

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    What’s that supposed to me anyway… your over priced use car is tacky as fuck

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    Mean*

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    That’s what they do… they illegally try to force my decisions too

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    By not letting me get to mine and I’m not financing until they stop I don’t want a repo again

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    My ex thought I actually fell in love with my capture?!?? FOH

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    Sick twisted rich fuck

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    Watch the video the worst cause that will cause me to ice pick him

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    I don’t to have to, to be free

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    But if it’s legal ok

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    Don’t want to have to* and I didn’t realize that one was my business and not bf

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    I thought they all were my bfs

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    I always had bfs and not friends really

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    I was a work a holic too

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    I do miss it but I don’t want to be a delirious dumb bitch that let you get away with doing anything you want to me without even noticing

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    And I didn’t almost kill him for cheating it was because I heard him laughing in the background of the weird 222 text that started all my hell to begin with

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    Nextel not text* I thought he was involved and sometime my angels act before I realize

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    I got mad respect for him but I’m respecting my bf and he’s right he did slip me once… but I know he had no choice too and

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    Not in love with him at all since he hurt me too but he did help me allot

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    He did become a better person since that and I respect that too

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    Great now my step dad goes outside and my window open so now he gonna come up to make sure my heat isn’t on too

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    MONEY is my biggest problem

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    Why can’t I get better and make my own?

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    AND MY PARENTS

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    Why do my parents have to fund your entertainment?

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    I refuse to go back to running PERIOD

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    My nerves are shot and I wouldn’t be able to even if I did want to

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    Yes I miss a lot of my old friends

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    Or what be with some old twisted rich sick fuck? Hell no I die… I can’t sleep with people I am not attracted to

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    I rather die*

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    They’re triaging to alienate me from my friends too but I still trust them

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    I do have heart for my bd too but I don’t want to live feeling insecure all the time… you’re out my league and I know it

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    I know it’s not him doing it either no matter how many times you set him up too

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    I think so I have no choice but him (the twisted freak) and he thinks I’d be happy for someone to “save” me

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    Use your money to feed the poor instead stalking me and maybe I would have respected you

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    You’re confused over sponsors watching over FREAK

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    Don’t you ever in your life tell me what I want and demand it again

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    Maybe if you mind your fucking business… you’re not trying to help me

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    Well he didn’t do it to me…

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    It is therapeutic to vent

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    Can I go back to normal and do it in a healthy productive way?

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    Everyone tell me to let it go… not all of it… especially when they won’t even let me

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    I have so many issues I have to prioritize but when I FEEL like if too - and that’s why they won’t stop hitting me too

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    I do not know how ro bfeak free

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    Killing me is not going to solve your problem either you are just making it worse for yourself

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    FACTS

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    And people like that shouldn’t be able to effect a majority

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    Idk who the one white freak is but I hear him all the time and it’s annoying as fuck too

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    Old white freak I can tell from his voice

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    It started after mb2010 I heard him crying

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    I taught it was god and got scared

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    Thought*

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    I’m already mentally ill I don’t need the artificial extra shit

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    I’m mentally ill since I was 13 FACTS but you don’t have to make me more sick for your cause

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    YOU ARE FUCKING WIRH MY RELIGION especially cause I can’t tell the difference sometimes

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    And don’t make fun of me cause I met allahs angels when I was like 15 too

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    What were our dreams crushed for?

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    I’m used to being balanced but i want to go real slow and be sure of what I want because I take marriage seriously and don’t want it like that yet

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    Cause I would be trapped unless it’s my life on the line

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    I actually was younger cause my fairy god mother was in the hospital with me and helped me get better a lot too and took out my prom dress etc

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    I respect PERIOD… and you’re not going to assume or judge me for that either

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    I understand I was scared of being prejudice after 9/11 too

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    It doesn’t make what you did to me ok though

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    I. Sorry I told everybody but they judged me what that scream was about too and why I would forgive

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    They’re fucking me up

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    AND VERY CONFUSED

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    It was solved until what year bitch?

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    I resent you ruining my life for your cause… I never get my dreams DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT

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    You kept me from my child too

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    I KNOW SHE WAS THERE TOO

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    Money can’t fix that but it would fucking hdlp

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    When did I get raped when we stil lived in CT

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    Wait YOU still lived in CT

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    wtf were you even talking about?

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    Cause you lived in nc when they hit me in Myrtle beach so I am confused PERIOD

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    We both have tempers and it’s not fair

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    Yes I like then Dr who made me try to draw 10 past 11 or what ever too

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    Try again*

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    Who made me try again

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    I don’t have to be this sick but brain damage can’t be reversed

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    ANONYMOUS and you assume why too NOVE OF EVERYBODYS FUCKING BUSINESS AND thanks to the people that are respecting that too

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    When can I?

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    I need help idk how to get better

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    When is my fucking nightmare over?

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    Life been crying since October

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    I’ve been crying since October*

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    I’m not trying to lock him in or steal someone’s man he deserves to be happy too

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    And I need his help too

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    The last thing I want is someone to be here for me cause they feel they have to

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    Or people that feel “sorry” for me but hurt me again too

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    No way in hell are you walking

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    THAYS who deserves to be on the list not mine

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    Unless it’s to help

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    I believe him FOR FACTS

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    If we handle it we both go back to jail so someone else has to

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    Just want to be free too

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    I prefer law but to be honest I know gods justice is worse too

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    He has 3 accusations that I know of

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    I’m just a little slow to catch up but when he showed me that picture like here bitch

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    Youre lucky to be alive

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    Yes.. just like the ATM

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    Ironic that I’m sending a h black man without a record to jail but that’s the breaks unless anyone has suggestions

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    I don’t even want to known what else he did PERIOD

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    I don’t understand you were supposed to be my friend and I never did you wrong so WHY?!?!?

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    Cause you finally realized I was never goi g to fuck you?

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    Why does all the people i trust betray me for real?

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    It’s not religion if we can prove it

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    Cause that’s not my god by any means

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    I don’t want to have to go to court either

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    Who was using who asshole.. I don’t use people

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    Where were you getting all that money… did you think even once to pay child support scum

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    It just goes to your selfish privy character but none of my business either

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    I don’t need to hear your ass cry either

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    I have lots of reasons why I would never get with you and that’s one

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    I that wouldgr been a match but I don’t want to fist fight at family.gatherings either and a psycho girl is obsessed with him

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    I love my bf for real and we’re trying to get it right for all of us

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    Even if that means just friends

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    I know I don’t want to be with anyone else though

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    Or try again.

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    Or try dating again*

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    I’m not going to be bullied and lock myself in the house cause I’m scared though either… why the fuck does everyone hate me?

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    Is there a reason why it takes 3 days for a check to clear with no available balance?

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    It didn’t use to do that type ish

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    I don’t really like talking on the phone but getting used to it again too

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    He knows how to handle me if you let him

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    And stop lying to him about me too

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    I hate it but throw the girls at him all you want cause he deserves to find his own happy too even if it’s not with me

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    As long as he still is in my life I’d be fine

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    Who keeps tapping my vv inappropriately cause I never gave anyone permission to do that and they won’t get the message NO and leave me and my body alone

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    I was a hoe when I was a kid though…

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    I learned my lesson

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    Probably why I would believe my baby daddy hate me

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    He’s not even that much older than me he was a kid too so wtf?!??

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    Something happened when I got shot that made me realize and remember some things again

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    But too much all at once and I snapped

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    I’m not sure

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    You’re boxing god not me

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    All I do is mind my own business so wtf too

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    Just cause I’m polite and passive doesn’t mean I’m a push over

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    I don’t think there is anything wrong with who I am only when someone I don’t even like or respect tries to change me

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    I don’t want to be you either

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    Be like you*

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    I bet you anything because I wouldn’t tell her who I thought my soul mate was… am I right Madi?

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    WHO BIPOLAR ROO

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    Or god complex I know nothing about that shit and don’t want to

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    Can the drs please stop telling me I’m the one that thinks I’m mightier than others?

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    Or bitching me repeatedly

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    My favorite aunt… I fell asleep ib 2 seconds cause I knew I was safe and she did it too but I forgive her

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    Nah only when my dad wasn’t aeound I know he didn’t know but probably found out

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    There I agree to let my family decide what’s best it’s probably solved it everyone will just stop

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    How about the you’re going to be fine… I AM FAR FROM OK

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    Im hurt because i trusted my drs and they made me worse

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    And my angel was getting pissed off I was so stupid to realize

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    GUYS I SWEAR TO GOD I WAS SOBER and that’s why I’m scared too

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    Yeah because dbt9 is a recreational drug right? FUCK YOU

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    My ONLY dirty urine

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    And of pac let me you know it’s serious - I used to be judgemental and blame drugs for everything to

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    It’s not like I smoke crack or do dope but why they always surrounding me with them?

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    If anyone was talking or me in the dark it wasn’t me and I could never get thru my damn. Self… I know nothing about this shit

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    I know who my happy private safe place was though so they took that from me too it feel

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    My favorite soonsors bitch now I know why too

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    And no it wasn’t twisted or like that at all

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    Who is abusing me and has a problem with my vv anyway

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    And why?!?!

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    And since my bf was in jail it’s not even fighting for the same man

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    Not to everyone

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    I’m hoping the rest of oui lifted will be extra fun

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    Lives*

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    But everyone want drama instead

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    I know manny has to be just as pissed too… he would’ve been a good rap artist and nah like my little brother I would ndver

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    All my boys weee better than most

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    If that’s what they want I would dictate someone else’s life or dreams

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    I wouldnt*

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    It fundamentally makes me happy to see other people shine… I’m not. Hater and you’re not going to make fun of me for that either

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    If you can’t coexist get out

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    Please if I’m a fell I’m. Everybody I don’t agree with snitching but the the convent needs to be fine tuned cause if someone is abusing ior hurting you, you have to pretty much

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    Get them out my body it’s not funny

    If I’m going to snitch I’m going to tell everybody! It really wasn’t me they set ME up

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    It could be the reason I got shot but I don’t think so

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    What about the people who have no clhoife and HAVE to… your lucky you don’t know anything about that

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    I still blame the users

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    Drs appt brb

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    They didn’t send me the link yet

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    But the ones using that kill people I blame them it’s conditional

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    I want nothing to do with it either
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  6. #1671

    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Can I post in open mic again?

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    TAF going to sleep

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    Nah I didn’t want to not get family and live like one

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    Far from perfect like shouldn’t have put everything out there or lot to have the common sense to realize what pac was trying to tell me

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    I feel like he’s here and I’m finally safe and can sleep again

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    “Even as an adolescent refused to be a convalescent I know that means old and in a way that too BUT sleep is more important than anything right now

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    Pentagrams evil or twisted shit no…. Bloody Mary in the mirror and light as a feather stiff as a board yes

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    Who was torturing me and why?

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    Not blaming anyone on the site just hoping you all can figure it out but I can’t other then some of my old friends in BIG trouble lol

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    Nite ��+

  7. #1672

    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    To be honest I was about to be 18 or 18… did psych and that old creeper do it?

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    Can’t sleep again…

  8. #1673
    Jicera - the only pic ihv NoNun2's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Thanks for reopening my thread but if I can’t post on open mic how am I supposed to find my ish?!?!!!

  9. #1674
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    love your new name you dirty girl hehe

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    so when are you going to post in open mics again to you want to collab once you get your ish up n running..

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    did you get banned.. whyd they close your thread..

    hope you can post soon queenie
    curious más curioso y más curioso

  10. #1675
    Jicera - the only pic ihv NoNun2's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Hey @Candy nah I keep trying to post to open mic so I can find them but they take them down and put on my thread lol

    I’d love to collab but chill with the icky shit… I’m sensitive

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    @Candy no nun is a pac thing… id scream no nun to him and god all the time - I wanted a family

  11. #1676
    Jicera - the only pic ihv NoNun2's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Why my signature not working?

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    Jicera and yup omfg Asia was an option too…

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    Thought about China…

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    Why didn’t anybody just say something though?

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    Nah did not remember at all until I got shot

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    Then it was what year was that too much at once

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    How would you feel if you got to heaven or hell at least that lady in beatlejuice and didn’t even know your own life story

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    Insanity can be funny too

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    To SOME of us

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    Spirits be lying too and yeah I won’t say homie anymore now too cause I’m scared lmao

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    THIS is what I’m gong to miss if I quit

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    That’s what I’m scared of too

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    Yes there is life after death Ray… “I don’t really like Mary but…” and then my scene switched again. I’m fine

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    Not my issue unless you still fucking with me

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    You had your daughter with you though? I know you know she saw me too smh

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    I’m not speaking to ANYBODY!!! How you sit there and let them though? Not even help! How was ANYBODY confused type of fucked up

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    I swear no clue and as much as I do her pac and stuff like why you didn’t just say it either

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    I remember enough

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    He*

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    I was 14… NO CLUE! But since she about 4-5 months in this pic… praying he do

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    I lied… the lie we couldn’t get thru

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    Say goodbye

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    They’re so selfish, like life is all about them… Dear Makaveli

    Even though I know this letter will never reach you
    I just wanted to let you know you’ve been on my mind…
    Not because of who you became and what I feel is due
    Just to let you know the comfort in the memories that I still find in you,
    Sitting here reminiscing of the days I wish I could rewind
    Like playing football in the rain, But…
    The echoes of laughter then, they now drive me insane
    It dangles like a noose suffocating my brain

    C

    I know, and I get it… cause I seen it all before
    Now that everyone can see the majesty that I saw so easily saw
    You couldn’t decipher truth from a whore
    The last time I saw you the elevation thru exhilaration as I witnessed your hesitation
    Then after the love that we made you said no more
    It stabbed me with a pain deeper than the 8 swords my tarot predicted
    And ever since then my world became kind of shifted…
    I want you to know that I don’t blame you,
    I know you were preparing me for a lie you knew we couldn’t get thru

    C … Do you hear me crying?

    I wasn’t too young to understand it when but then came the next loop to the bend
    The one to pick me up from the fall couldn’t face the order too tall
    And the one who was truly true became victim of how evil these streets can do
    As I witnessed the sentence served of 22
    What? Am I supposed to watch the unpredictable of now and how he gonna end up just like you
    Or just deal with the real of the reality set forth in realization of my own true? (it was always you)
    As we rise and we fall we have roads set forth to beat
    As I sit here fingering the outline of my scars again humbling myself to the defeat
    And as my own story unfolds, I wish I stuck up for us then just to warn you
    But all I could do was cry and spit lies just to scorn you
    I know now you did what was best for me, but the test couldn’t invest in the rest I’d see

    __________________________

    And on a personal…

    I never made love ever again,
    It was more like we was in Cesar’s war and I became that opposite whore just trapping a friend
    I’m scared now that my ice has melted and I’m not sure where this leaves me,
    Just figured out I’d reach out to the one that always felt it and was 3 steps before what I could see
    And… I pray this letter reaches you in time, it feels like years left of my own sentence
    Yet they never told me my own crime as they whisper all in due time
    I didn’t come here to remind you of the pain that you caused when you left me too
    More like I finally remember what I blacked out and how now even though it’s harder than ever…
    I’m always admiring and praying for you – What’s love got to do with it?
    But you still can’t see what we all do so plainly – put down your guns and just realize who’s true
    And maybe then you’ll see what real love in form of agape can do.

    I hope I can help snap you back too…. I’ll always love you.

    Sincerely… Me, C

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    I jumped back in when I heard Ced screaming

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    After I think

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    At least if I tell I’m a tell EVERYBODY!! I wasn’t snitching so who was behind me?

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    That’s illegal

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    I do feel like someone fucking around with my account and stuff again too

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    Does anybody know where she is?

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    My mom doesn’t remember either but don’t take that for granted either cause I will blow up the entire game

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    Feel so stupid and clueless but goes to show my what they call it conceitedness? Why would I think someone like you would love someone like me too! But I remember you screaming there and trying and then I started hearing you too in the midst of torture

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    That “what you looking at self” need to stop, they have no rite to make me feel or look ugly either

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    I know they hate Muslims cutting my hair and shit LOL if I was Muslim like OMFG

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    My point is… all anyone had to do was tell me or ask

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    The Quran in all respect was like that movie never ending story type real

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    I made promises to my church and realized I did that pregnant too but I respect

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    So does my gma who made lamb the Easter I was dating a Muslim so… idk idc just a lot on my plate still

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    That April 29th brb

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    Don’t kill me because that wedding was play/pretend cause my boy that saved me saw I was walking dead

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    Idk what happened

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    Everything was fine…

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    But I was already 18 4 months that September too…

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    I do know in my heart and as much as I see you and you’re there and stuff. I know you would’ve come back for me if you were still alive

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    LOVE STYLES P and wrote him back too

    I used to say I’d never do a bid, and ain’t nothing in life more important then the kids
    That the code of the streets was more loyal then your profile is
    And that id give my life if it would give him back his
    I’d say hit, shot, smoke when I’d stand in their circle
    Then I lost my mind and they only cared how my birds call
    When your walking or marching or just airing it out
    People see you different then their reAsable doubt
    They think your spoiled or special and can’t understand the fall or the respect due
    They didn’t know It was half faith in My God that I was trying to show you too
    You Look them in the eye and turn, tell them to shoot you in the back that’s how our law do
    Or living by a code we seem to all lose
    The only codes we ever understood or respect
    Then they look me at can’t understand the harsh deck
    And I say it’s prolly when my family left that I died
    Smile and wave...
    And it’s in only in secret when And if I ever cried
    I’d say I’m still a lot like you
    Just different, that’s why the respect too
    My own seeds hate me, and I didn’t trade my life instead that’s just how fate be
    And if I did it for one I did it for all... but I guess it’s just how the fallen and the walking dead fall...

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    Been around… pulled me in

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    Sorry Jay but his song cried even better than yours!!!



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    I was not entitled or spoiled on the streets by any means

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    I was good at hypotheticals… but you’re not gonna blame me for being an airhead

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    Even if out of statues I promise

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    When they wouldn’t believe me again I confessed to my worst crime - RUNNING

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    lol life

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    “Will it take me under… idk”

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    I’ll let you know when it stops pac

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    I had no clue why I was being tortured

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    And why no one would help or believe me

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    I fall for the dumb shit everytime… WAYYY TOO MANY SWEETS

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    We’re still cool… he my angel too just has a harsh delivery smh

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    Motivated me to work again, school, and going sober - but he lied to my mom and told her I was a coke whore like NAHHHH lmfao

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    I still can’t get ice coffee

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    I prefer to make my own money - can I by writing? How?

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    I know if he left me something someone would’ve reached out

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    He was yelling at me about one of my promises about my I thought would be kids but I didn’t know if it was mad or frustration in Myrtle beach he was with me the entire time - maybe why I don’t remember at all really

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    And then I traced 50 so that’s how he got me there

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    A normal person would’ve understood quicker with the videos and stuff but not me… at first it would scare me more

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    That atrophy in only my memory though type kicker guys

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    Mental is off the fucking hook

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    I get lost on my own street sometimes

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    How would you feel?

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    Nah don’t take offense… I’ve got a good heart cause I’m that viscous

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    Sould? I was just hearing what they were talking about and stood in case I did fuck up - I’m fine

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    They can’t keep coming back though

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    Guys… what about charging $9.99 a month for a section where talent scalps go?
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    As much as I hallucinate and see him…
    I’m willing to take that chance

  12. #1677
    Jicera - the only pic ihv NoNun2's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I worked hard on my “a better tomorrow” I named it wu track 10 I think…. It better not be lost!!!! Can someone find it?

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    @Candy only name I can remember right now
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    As much as I hallucinate and see him…
    I’m willing to take that chance

  13. #1678
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    rememberance day
    ..

    i was told,
    the things you forget are things meant to be left behind
    left in time, subsided in the corners of your mind
    a life you once lead or an action you may climb
    this adventure you may explore
    left to live on the ground floor
    never more
    like a toy makers last toy bench - a mess
    like a dress makers last dress un-hemmed
    like a florist last flower un-stemmed
    and so fourth
    we keep striving though
    surving to become the 100% we know we are
    hopefully not to forget the travels is what makes you what you are

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    our collab

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...38#post8986438
    curious más curioso y más curioso

  14. #1679
    Jicera - the only pic ihv NoNun2's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Lost You

    I’m so fucking confused! It was like today he literally spit in my face type after we just talked yesterday about how much I need him or that I’m looking for the type of man that is friends with me first - whether we together or not! And then where my heart said there IS love… I don’t trust that he does either. But I’m sorry I didn’t get it, and I’m sorry I finally realized when it was too late… I feel so stupid because I really don’t understand what is going on, I can’t seem to retain it, and I just want to be happy! L is not the lead… they stole me from ced and I was under the impression me and my now ex bf were on the same team because it felt so familiar too. He’s a follower - that shocked me too! It sucks because it was brought to a point of no return and I’ve just been sitting here all night staring. Sad as fuck and yet another hit to my esteem cause they either say I’m crazy or I’m not - nah I’m fucking crazy for real… do you think he starts fights on purpose because he know how sick I get when we do fight… I was like that with a few of my bf… I don’t like their world, I don’t like giving the finger when I don’t want to and feeling like my enemies or hearing their voices or feeling them tap… NOBODY ON THIS EARTH HAD A RITE TO ATTACH TO MY BODY

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    And then abuse and torture it at that

    I just want to know what’s going on… who did what where so I can just handle it

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    If I can just be myself, by myself, with no drama or people that make me sick like Kevin - I would be fine

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    I was shaking for no reason today doing hair, I keep waving my hands and like… TAF me and this breed just don’t get along

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    They tortured me beyond comprehension and still won’t stop

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    I saw pac….but they’re never going to let me free until they get the answer they want and I really can’t do that

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    I think my old friends were selling me for real

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    How they got my sleep? How they got that rite over me?

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    June can vouge on that… and pac can vouge every relationship been hit with the same magic that I didn’t even do or provoke since like 2010

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    I don’t want to be with somebody who is capable of treating me like this no matter what… even if they are a soulmate. My mom was right to not let him in our house

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    She’s tried of the fighting and me crying everyday

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    It’s not my dr and they’re disrespectful to me and my body… I can usually tell the difference

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    I’m only dealing with Roman Catholic or Muslim as a mushrik - these other religions need to leave me the fuck alone

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    Voodoo falls under Roman Catholic but I’m not the only one that knows that too

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    They won’t let me be me they’re trying to change me and my personally and how I look and feel too

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    I don’t like it… it makes me uncomfortable in my own body all day every day

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    Missing school again and he knew that too… I refuse to go to school when I’m this sick and skward and it just feeling like they doing that on purpose too! 50… If I change my phone number - are you going to press charges for all those emails lol

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    The meanest shit ever… guys you take him I’m done - pac still protect him and yeah I will hit him off if I get paid to write but only on what pertains to us

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    Anybody have legal suggestions on how I breathe again? Cause I’m done dating

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    This NA hits me in a bad way because I know I’m only struggling cause of their extra

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    I didn’t want that plight too

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    That voice? That one not the twisted one is like every 10 minutes for like hours everyday

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    It’s annoying as fuck

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    I’m pretty sure if you don’t piss me off or make me sad id be fine too

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    SOMEONE PLEASE GET THEM BITCHES OFF ME BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW

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    Cause Nipsy still would’ve been a baby and yay it’s computer generated - come get me!!!

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    Nah the world not ready… I’m strong and look what it did to me

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    Mayhem in my opinion but do feel as theee kids now get older you can

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    You can see the fear and then a lot change color too from what I’ve heard from moms lately

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    The eyes…

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    Nah it doesn’t make any of it ok… in fact it makes it worse

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    Nah I’m pretty sure I’m just wind but still

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    Cause I spiked that day and jumped over the porch and landed on my feet… but can’t do that shit any other day

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    Idky I can’t see in the dark anymore either

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    17 shots out of 3 people? FOH
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    As much as I hallucinate and see him…
    I’m willing to take that chance

  15. #1680
    Jicera - the only pic ihv NoNun2's Avatar
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    Feb 2024
    Posts
    92

    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    OMFG my mom got this new air freshener in the.bathroom - every time I randomly squirts I jump… I can’t get used to it

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    lol… sad as fuck..: me and my bf going our ways… he must’ve believed them too or like my mental is hard to handle and like… I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad - but I rather him leave than disrespect me so I guess I respect that
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
    As much as I hallucinate and see him…
    I’m willing to take that chance

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