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Thread: A Disciple's Thread

  1. #1666
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    After what he said and did I shouldn’t but I am worried about him he don’t deserve all that

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    Just give me back to Ced so he can get me to my bd then… NOW I know why I didn’t hear him at the door

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    Maybe I should’ve pulled it

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    Nah I think I was blessed cause I didn’t thought

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    Honestly right now I really don’t knowb

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    Honestly right now I really don’t knowb
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    CLA919

  2. #1667
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    this is the last song i sent you



    this is the one im listening to now



    and i was listening to this on the way here

    Last edited by Candy; February 11th, 2024 at 08:24 PM
    "curious

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    más curioso y más curioso"

  3. #1668
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Im sorry for the pink dick comment but now you understand my situation and why. I did try to date a white guy again too and he disrespected me

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    NOW I SAY NEVER AGAJIN

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    You crazy for setting up the kkk too for real… I want no parts of racism
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    CLA919

  4. #1669
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I agree I don’t even want to be me and it should never happen again m


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    Just praying I can be myself again

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    Nobody’s body is replaceable, why do you think bodies are cars? I believe bodies are sacred too

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    What I don’t like is the non denominational cause like if Jesus died for hell he probably does or is gonna run shit and that’s why his book isn’t out yet… I want peace they want war - well go over there and fight each other and leave us free huggers alpine

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    Tree huggers alons*

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    I’m fighting for the basement too

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    I left my tattoo artist cause she said angels don’t be in hell…. The hell they not

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    What makes me mad about Mika keep on peeing on the couch… it didn’t even dawn on me to let him be an outside cat

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    You’re destroying my family too

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    I’m going to delete it

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    9 of them was in one year I think when and if I got shot - why won’t they even confirm that cause I got sick in school again why my friend showed me her scars

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    Not telling me or helping me deal with reality is making me sick - so like who and where is my “expert”

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    WTF is going on?

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    I need help

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    Nah the fucked up and scary shit - is that I assume the psychs already know that and it’s not fair

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    Why do people help people like them and not me

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    I need income

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    Just per se with disability I was insane 9x in one year 2-5 days each time is 45 absences and that doesn’t even include the 3 months recovery time… who the hell is not going to fire you if you have 45 absences in one year

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    Why does disability refuse to help me and my family too.

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    Does psych run the governemt now too? and that’s what’s scary

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    Cause they run the hospitals

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    At least mine do

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    I don’t know how or who to go to for help I’ve already had 2-3 lawyers

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    Yo it’s so easy for me to be healthy yeah if I’m having fun not tortured

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    I don’t need much to be happy either and prefer to make my own money

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    But my brain truly does need the recovery time

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    Help me deal with reality too

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    Because they have everyone against me

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    I lost this job the one I was at 5 yrs on their command too

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    Can they go check my absences while there?

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    How many days was I out of work?

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    Not fucking faking and I’m refusss to be a free loading bitch

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    And we can prove it’s only on THEIR demand

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    How does anybody deal with that?

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    HOW DO I GET DISABILITY UNTIL THEY LEAVE ME ALONE

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    I LOVE MONEY WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE WANT TO LIVE ON 1500 a month if it’s even that now?

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    I used to make that in a week it’s not fair

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    How am I desperate for attention if I bought a basic model Kia after they hurt it… I don’t want attention I want help

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    I want to heal and get better too

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    To be honest… trusting and listening to them made me worse

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    They won’t help or let me deal with reality either

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    I’m tired of humiliating myself too

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    My rape wasn’t anyone’s business and I screamed it every where because they didn’t even help me understand threat I was raped

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    That I was*

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    That’s why they dismisssed my case when I stole the car

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    And left me bleeding black thinking it’s cause I was a vampire - why are they making me delusional

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    I’ve never had a dr longer then like 5 years so if there is one longer or any idk about ARREST THEM

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    Scared as fuck because Dr Fox was my dr too

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    Nah we have to delete this thread and I lose great work but oh well

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    Eventually not now cause my bf is right it’s a threat to me that everyone know I’m weak too

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    I IUST NEED HELP THEYRE SCARING ME!

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    Just want to earn money and help too by writing the normal stuff I write when I’m healthy and happy

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    I hate psych didn’t take one class so how they didn’t know that and do it on purpose

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    Who did this to me on purpose and why?

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    I haven’t been sane since I was shot and everyone tell me know I wasn’t shot too

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    Everyone say I wasn’t shot too*

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    The absences from school is the result of seeing my friends graze wounds healing to

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    I glitched cleared accounts so my bf lost trust in me too

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    Ex boyfriend sorry - we’re trying friends now

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    I want to get better too…

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    Peace and comfort in my own body instead of abuse would help… EVERYONE deserves peace and comfort in their own body

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    You can’t demand to own a rape victim it’s just gonna end bad and I pray not for everybody or innocent people

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    It just feels like they are doing it on purpose

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    Why is everyone letting them get away with it they refuse to stop… that’s your culture not mine and I don’t like it

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    They knew I was raped and tied me to the bed in the hospital anyway

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    I wish I could make them understand what that feels like

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    Not sure who zipped me out and grateful it was like only 5 minutes I had to feel that

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    When I woke up the restraints were off but it was probably like when I was in atc after the rape how they shackled me to the chairs all night and took me out and put me on the chair with pillow and blanket 10 minutes before the nurses came in

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    They’re off the hook

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    The police did it because I was so mad when I woke up and saw my old friend outside the car I went ballistic

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    I calmed down after cursing out the cop but they shackled me anyway

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    I was told I was hallucinating so when she called me a few years later I thought she grew up from the od of pills she gave me calming down only to realize just so it looks good for her and it wasn’t an accident she did it on purpose

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    We didn’t speak for years what was she even doing there?

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    How did she even know

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    I learned it’s no one’s business if you forgive them or not and you don’t give them a chance to do it again

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    As a result I am a slow learner now too

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    We stoped taking because she refused that she even gave me the pills even though my sister found them in her cabinet

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    We stopped talking because she refused to admit it*

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    I truly thought it was an accident though

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    Idgaf but they all refuse to stop or leave me alone and now no one.believes me

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    I realized how evil she got when I got home and called her to tell her Tim was still in jail and she hung up on me and said she was with her family laughing

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    THATS when I realized she was never my friend… why did she pretend to be though?

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    To be honest… I think doing evil shit makes you more evil the more you do it

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    That bitch is rabid

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    I heard she doing good now and it’s not my motive in getting justice I just am not going to sacrafice myself to her issues…

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    And socios shouldn’t run or own or have power over me

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    CLEAN UP YOUR OWJ MESS… even though she shot in the dark on a weekend I was up here I had NOTHING to do with it

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    I do recall someone weeding thru me though I. Like 04 years and years prior for a different reason…

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    I did see Ming a little tonight my boy said chicken head and my roads are still cutting off too

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    I despise magic

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    If I was driving the other night which I always do, me and my bf and another innocent person would probably be dead too… I kept screaming cause I thought he was running off the road etc

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    I don’t like hallucinating

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    And bitches like that shouldn’t have that power over people better than her

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    But that’s the dark that’s the light… I wait to heal and get better too

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    Want*

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    I don’t want the responsibly and I don’t like the rituals and such so I just don’t like witchcraft

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    I’d like to go back to car accidents should truly be an accident

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    You can’t demand to change my religion because you’re scared

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    Evidentially not anymore I’m the one scared instead

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    I saw that too… and I can’t wait until she kicks your mother fucking ass

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    I learned sometimes you just have to point the gun but be careful who holds it

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    I don’t want that responsibly either

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    I’m sure he was on coke but the autopsy would’ve proved that and you all wouldn’t have got the insurance mi not trying to start or open old wounds it’s just how I feel and it’s haunting me

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    And then you don’t even give the teenager that was left alone alone any? FOH

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    If o was a witch your power would be REVOKED

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    Almost alone*

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    That’s in the dark though so should probably be resolved that way too because I’m tired of being her Victim too

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    I think she’s the one that tied me

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    Literally can’t get up or move like you being held down type only there add no ropes you just don’t have the strength to move

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    Are no real ropes*

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    If you’re afraid someone can kick your ass why do you fuck with them?

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    The worst part is the bitch can fight too

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    Did he really get buried in Hawthorne? Or was that a lie to make me feel like it was my fault too?

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    Because when his son died too it was after I was tripping posting underwear shots he said wtf too

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    They won’t stop… people are not at your disposal especially people better than you and I don’t think it’s a coincidence

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    I wanted to write for him he could flow…

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    But to be honest I think other people are scared to help too

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    It makes me mad that people like us go down for people like them and I don’t understand why any god would allow it

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    Car accidents should truly be an accident

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    I feel it was on purpose

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    My neice flipped her car at 90mph too and she just turned 21

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    I used to speed for no reason too… she fractured her face and has epilepsy now and lost her own career in hair dressing because she can’t hold scissors until she hasn’t had a seizure for however long

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    She hasn’t been able to go back to work yet

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    I wish it was me instead

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    My roads are still cutting off too… LEAVE ME ALONE it’s not my fault your finally caught

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    I know there’s an after and I know hell is real too… and I feel like just cause you say sorry you’re still going there

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    Until you really are sorry

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    Bitch you’re sick for real

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    RABID

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    I really am trying to figure out why I’m in a hell on earth though… my god judges us in the after and I dodnt even do shit

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    My mom is lingering upstairs to be nosy and that’s her nature im cool with that but I miss being able to live alone

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    Privacy and my step dad is a control freak that hides my cigarettes and gives me a pack a day he hides sweets liquor etc… its ridiculous but I get it I just despise control freaks so it’s hard

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    In defense they pay for the cigs and sometimes I do smoke more than a pack a day

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    At 45 it sucks to be forced to do what you’re told

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    I can’t get up and leave it’s a blizzard

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    To be honest I rhink it makes me worse

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    If I had my own money etc

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    Not have to ask for every dollar and tell them exactly where I spend it etc… but I get it

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    Do you?

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    I’m miserable

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    Get out of my body and waving my hand

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    I don’t like or respect you or this religion either

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    What? Are they doing to stand outside my door until I go to sleep?

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    I don’t want to

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    I’m not putting this on my parents I’m putting it on Crabtree Toyota

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    If they come to the door and I don’t open it I go to the hospital but I don’t want to cause I’m smoking in my room

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    So I’m pretty much fucked either way lol

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    I miss being functional

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    Prolong this for what?!?

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    If I turn on the tv she will know that I’m up

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    So I guess I HAVE TO go to sleep

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    Nah my ex that is still my friend isn’t allowed in the house anymore and if we have to go to hotel to hang out neither one of us can afford it
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    CLA919

  5. #1670
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    It feels like someone is taking away my peace and comfort of ties to anybody who helps on purpose

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    The sick shit is what I tried sending back they use it to stop my sex life it feels like too

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    THATS what happened again too

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    You spelled her name wrong PRICK

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    What’s that supposed to me anyway… your over priced use car is tacky as fuck

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    Mean*

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    That’s what they do… they illegally try to force my decisions too

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    By not letting me get to mine and I’m not financing until they stop I don’t want a repo again

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    My ex thought I actually fell in love with my capture?!?? FOH

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    Sick twisted rich fuck

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    Watch the video the worst cause that will cause me to ice pick him

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    I don’t to have to, to be free

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    But if it’s legal ok

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    Don’t want to have to* and I didn’t realize that one was my business and not bf

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    I thought they all were my bfs

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    I always had bfs and not friends really

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    I was a work a holic too

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    I do miss it but I don’t want to be a delirious dumb bitch that let you get away with doing anything you want to me without even noticing

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    And I didn’t almost kill him for cheating it was because I heard him laughing in the background of the weird 222 text that started all my hell to begin with

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    Nextel not text* I thought he was involved and sometime my angels act before I realize

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    I got mad respect for him but I’m respecting my bf and he’s right he did slip me once… but I know he had no choice too and

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    Not in love with him at all since he hurt me too but he did help me allot

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    He did become a better person since that and I respect that too

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    Great now my step dad goes outside and my window open so now he gonna come up to make sure my heat isn’t on too

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    MONEY is my biggest problem

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    Why can’t I get better and make my own?

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    AND MY PARENTS

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    Why do my parents have to fund your entertainment?

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    I refuse to go back to running PERIOD

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    My nerves are shot and I wouldn’t be able to even if I did want to

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    Yes I miss a lot of my old friends

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    Or what be with some old twisted rich sick fuck? Hell no I die… I can’t sleep with people I am not attracted to

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    I rather die*

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    They’re triaging to alienate me from my friends too but I still trust them

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    I do have heart for my bd too but I don’t want to live feeling insecure all the time… you’re out my league and I know it

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    I know it’s not him doing it either no matter how many times you set him up too

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    I think so I have no choice but him (the twisted freak) and he thinks I’d be happy for someone to “save” me

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    Use your money to feed the poor instead stalking me and maybe I would have respected you

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    You’re confused over sponsors watching over FREAK

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    Don’t you ever in your life tell me what I want and demand it again

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    Maybe if you mind your fucking business… you’re not trying to help me

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    Well he didn’t do it to me…

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    It is therapeutic to vent

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    Can I go back to normal and do it in a healthy productive way?

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    Everyone tell me to let it go… not all of it… especially when they won’t even let me

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    I have so many issues I have to prioritize but when I FEEL like if too - and that’s why they won’t stop hitting me too

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    I do not know how ro bfeak free

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    Killing me is not going to solve your problem either you are just making it worse for yourself

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    FACTS

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    And people like that shouldn’t be able to effect a majority

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    Idk who the one white freak is but I hear him all the time and it’s annoying as fuck too

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    Old white freak I can tell from his voice

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    It started after mb2010 I heard him crying

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    I taught it was god and got scared

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    Thought*

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    I’m already mentally ill I don’t need the artificial extra shit

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    I’m mentally ill since I was 13 FACTS but you don’t have to make me more sick for your cause

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    YOU ARE FUCKING WIRH MY RELIGION especially cause I can’t tell the difference sometimes

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    And don’t make fun of me cause I met allahs angels when I was like 15 too

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    What were our dreams crushed for?

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    I’m used to being balanced but i want to go real slow and be sure of what I want because I take marriage seriously and don’t want it like that yet

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    Cause I would be trapped unless it’s my life on the line

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    I actually was younger cause my fairy god mother was in the hospital with me and helped me get better a lot too and took out my prom dress etc

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    I respect PERIOD… and you’re not going to assume or judge me for that either

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    I understand I was scared of being prejudice after 9/11 too

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    It doesn’t make what you did to me ok though

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    I. Sorry I told everybody but they judged me what that scream was about too and why I would forgive

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    They’re fucking me up

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    AND VERY CONFUSED

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    It was solved until what year bitch?

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    I resent you ruining my life for your cause… I never get my dreams DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT

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    You kept me from my child too

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    I KNOW SHE WAS THERE TOO

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    Money can’t fix that but it would fucking hdlp

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    When did I get raped when we stil lived in CT

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    Wait YOU still lived in CT

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    wtf were you even talking about?

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    Cause you lived in nc when they hit me in Myrtle beach so I am confused PERIOD

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    We both have tempers and it’s not fair

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    Yes I like then Dr who made me try to draw 10 past 11 or what ever too

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    Try again*

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    Who made me try again

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    I don’t have to be this sick but brain damage can’t be reversed

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    ANONYMOUS and you assume why too NOVE OF EVERYBODYS FUCKING BUSINESS AND thanks to the people that are respecting that too

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    When can I?

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    I need help idk how to get better

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    When is my fucking nightmare over?

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    Life been crying since October

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    I’ve been crying since October*

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    I’m not trying to lock him in or steal someone’s man he deserves to be happy too

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    And I need his help too

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    The last thing I want is someone to be here for me cause they feel they have to

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    Or people that feel “sorry” for me but hurt me again too

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    No way in hell are you walking

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    THAYS who deserves to be on the list not mine

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    Unless it’s to help

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    I believe him FOR FACTS

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    If we handle it we both go back to jail so someone else has to

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    Just want to be free too

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    I prefer law but to be honest I know gods justice is worse too

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    He has 3 accusations that I know of

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    I’m just a little slow to catch up but when he showed me that picture like here bitch

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    Youre lucky to be alive

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    Yes.. just like the ATM

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    Ironic that I’m sending a h black man without a record to jail but that’s the breaks unless anyone has suggestions

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    I don’t even want to known what else he did PERIOD

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    I don’t understand you were supposed to be my friend and I never did you wrong so WHY?!?!?

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    Cause you finally realized I was never goi g to fuck you?

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    Why does all the people i trust betray me for real?

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    It’s not religion if we can prove it

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    Cause that’s not my god by any means

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    I don’t want to have to go to court either

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    Who was using who asshole.. I don’t use people

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    Where were you getting all that money… did you think even once to pay child support scum

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    It just goes to your selfish privy character but none of my business either

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    I don’t need to hear your ass cry either

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    I have lots of reasons why I would never get with you and that’s one

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    I that wouldgr been a match but I don’t want to fist fight at family.gatherings either and a psycho girl is obsessed with him

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    I love my bf for real and we’re trying to get it right for all of us

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    Even if that means just friends

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    I know I don’t want to be with anyone else though

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    Or try again.

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    Or try dating again*

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    I’m not going to be bullied and lock myself in the house cause I’m scared though either… why the fuck does everyone hate me?

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    Is there a reason why it takes 3 days for a check to clear with no available balance?

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    It didn’t use to do that type ish

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    I don’t really like talking on the phone but getting used to it again too

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    He knows how to handle me if you let him

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    And stop lying to him about me too

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    I hate it but throw the girls at him all you want cause he deserves to find his own happy too even if it’s not with me

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    As long as he still is in my life I’d be fine

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    Who keeps tapping my vv inappropriately cause I never gave anyone permission to do that and they won’t get the message NO and leave me and my body alone

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    I was a hoe when I was a kid though…

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    I learned my lesson

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    Probably why I would believe my baby daddy hate me

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    He’s not even that much older than me he was a kid too so wtf?!??

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    Something happened when I got shot that made me realize and remember some things again

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    But too much all at once and I snapped

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    I’m not sure

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    You’re boxing god not me

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    All I do is mind my own business so wtf too

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    Just cause I’m polite and passive doesn’t mean I’m a push over

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    I don’t think there is anything wrong with who I am only when someone I don’t even like or respect tries to change me

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    I don’t want to be you either

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    Be like you*

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    I bet you anything because I wouldn’t tell her who I thought my soul mate was… am I right Madi?

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    WHO BIPOLAR ROO

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    Or god complex I know nothing about that shit and don’t want to

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    Can the drs please stop telling me I’m the one that thinks I’m mightier than others?

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    Or bitching me repeatedly

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    My favorite aunt… I fell asleep ib 2 seconds cause I knew I was safe and she did it too but I forgive her

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    Nah only when my dad wasn’t aeound I know he didn’t know but probably found out

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    There I agree to let my family decide what’s best it’s probably solved it everyone will just stop

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    How about the you’re going to be fine… I AM FAR FROM OK

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    Im hurt because i trusted my drs and they made me worse

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    And my angel was getting pissed off I was so stupid to realize

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    GUYS I SWEAR TO GOD I WAS SOBER and that’s why I’m scared too

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    Yeah because dbt9 is a recreational drug right? FUCK YOU

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    My ONLY dirty urine

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    And of pac let me you know it’s serious - I used to be judgemental and blame drugs for everything to

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    It’s not like I smoke crack or do dope but why they always surrounding me with them?

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    If anyone was talking or me in the dark it wasn’t me and I could never get thru my damn. Self… I know nothing about this shit

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    I know who my happy private safe place was though so they took that from me too it feel

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    My favorite soonsors bitch now I know why too

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    And no it wasn’t twisted or like that at all

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    Who is abusing me and has a problem with my vv anyway

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    And why?!?!

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    And since my bf was in jail it’s not even fighting for the same man

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    Not to everyone

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    I’m hoping the rest of oui lifted will be extra fun

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    Lives*

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    But everyone want drama instead

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    I know manny has to be just as pissed too… he would’ve been a good rap artist and nah like my little brother I would ndver

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    All my boys weee better than most

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    If that’s what they want I would dictate someone else’s life or dreams

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    I wouldnt*

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    It fundamentally makes me happy to see other people shine… I’m not. Hater and you’re not going to make fun of me for that either

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    If you can’t coexist get out

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    Please if I’m a fell I’m. Everybody I don’t agree with snitching but the the convent needs to be fine tuned cause if someone is abusing ior hurting you, you have to pretty much

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    Get them out my body it’s not funny

    If I’m going to snitch I’m going to tell everybody! It really wasn’t me they set ME up

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    It could be the reason I got shot but I don’t think so

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    What about the people who have no clhoife and HAVE to… your lucky you don’t know anything about that

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    I still blame the users

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    Drs appt brb

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    They didn’t send me the link yet

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    But the ones using that kill people I blame them it’s conditional

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    I want nothing to do with it either
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  6. #1671

    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Can I post in open mic again?

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    TAF going to sleep

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    Nah I didn’t want to not get family and live like one

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    Far from perfect like shouldn’t have put everything out there or lot to have the common sense to realize what pac was trying to tell me

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    I feel like he’s here and I’m finally safe and can sleep again

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    “Even as an adolescent refused to be a convalescent I know that means old and in a way that too BUT sleep is more important than anything right now

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    Pentagrams evil or twisted shit no…. Bloody Mary in the mirror and light as a feather stiff as a board yes

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    Who was torturing me and why?

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    Not blaming anyone on the site just hoping you all can figure it out but I can’t other then some of my old friends in BIG trouble lol

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    Nite ��+

  7. #1672

    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    To be honest I was about to be 18 or 18… did psych and that old creeper do it?

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    Can’t sleep again…

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