Multiple Hits.

[Zoshi]

You can't pretend, no time left, we need to extend
Gotta comprehend, defend, it never matters in the end
Multiple hits coming at you from every direction
My rhymes are perfection, I spit lethal infections
We are both the same in game, rappers is what we became
The same fame, I'm a arsenal and I have accurate aim
I knock on your door, you are done for, You can't ignore
Get on all fours, get raped, and then drop you from the 5th floor
I hit with multiple syllables, mentally and physical, I'm original
You are typical, completely visible, and unpredictable

[Zoshi]

Bump.

[The Great Father]

Not bad, but the last line contradicts itself with "typical" and "unpredictable"

Other than that, reads nice.

[Zoshi]

LOL yea I showed it to friend and he said the same thing.

[Zoshi]

Bump

[Fresh]

You can't pretend, no time left, we need to extend
Gotta comprehend, defend, it never matters in the end
I think thi sbar is contradicting, as are saying "no time left, need to extend, blah blah it never matters in the end."
I think you need to sync up what your saying more with the it never matters in the end because it doens't make much sense.
Multiple hits coming at you from every direction
My rhymes are perfection, I spit lethal infections
This is iight
We are both the same in game, rappers is what we became
The same fame, I'm a arsenal and I have accurate aim
Mehh not much subtance here
I knock on your door, you are done for, You can't ignore
Get on all fours, get raped, and then drop you from the 5th floor
uhhh, rape is bad mmmkay
I hit with multiple syllables, mentally and physical, I'm original
You are typical, completely visible, and unpredictable
Rhyme scheme is iight...

I think you need to come up with a topic and rap about it. This had some alright rhyme scheme but you need to get more into multi-syllabic rhyme schemes.. Such as: beer in the fridge/clearin the hedge/fearin the ledge/ Then you can throw in some weird shit... "fearin the ledge-like a deer in the head-lights"

You'll get it, but next drop I'd suggest using an actual topic to rap to, start with that and we'll take it from there

[Zoshi]

Bump