“Shallow Side”

[Mr. Black]

lol ok "rapist of man".. fruit ass bitch

i see you eng

[Galactus The Devourer]

A quick drop if you could feed it my dude.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...419/index.html

[CEF]

yo to be honest i liked the flow, but im not into the content so its not gonna grab me, not to take nothin away from you tho son you got bars its just nothin something i would give much thought to ya dig

[Genocide]

upp

[Rorrim]

This is a great piece you've got here man, real poetic shit. Flow was on point. Structure was good. You didn't stray from your topic once, not that it's all that easy to do when you're going so deep into detail.

Overall, good piece man, keep it up, can't wait to read more.

[Soule]

Didn't think you knew how to write below 80 lines. Kind of refreshing..


The rhyme scheme in this seemed spot on. I read this entire thing in one melody, without stuttering, pausing to re-read, or trying to understand the line. Dopeness. The wording in this also helped a lot. I love reading your shit Black, just wasn't in the mood for 80-160 lines lol. We need to collaborate sometime, even though I doubt it'll happen. Keep doing your thing, HoF for sure.

[Mr. Black]

i truly like this verse

[Dex'Labb]

when thought is reversed, acceptance has to begin,
reincarnation lives in every blade of grass in the spring ..
everything tells a story. every action & thing,
Every day is broadway and every actor can sing.
love is never at the bottom of my glasses of gin,
cuz beauty's just the product of a passionate sin.
you don't have to pretend that you have to relate;
since it's a different story in the shallow half of the lake,

Yup.

[Mr. Black]

thanks for the honesty man

[6feetdeep]

I don't know about this, the content in it is pretty good, imagery is nice aswell. Not liking the flow however, all very similar the whole way through, makes the whole piece drag on and after a while of me reading it i got bored because of it. Multi's can ruin verses when they are over used but here i think under used. Not because it isnt technical or whatever, it would just make the flow more interesting than rhyming the last word every line. Other than that it was fine, i'd rate it 6/10