Spitfull - The Shelter Freestyle

[Straightaway]

Placed in not built to amaze.

Striving frostart to complete the sense mind
only thinking of goal-

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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...6&postcount=12
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02&postcount=2

[Straightaway]

Uppinn For Feeddds . . . . .

[Straightaway]

Last Cmonn People...

[C#]

For a freestyle, I'd say this is pretty solid. I'd be more intrigued a bit more internal rhyming, but that's just my preferences, since internal rhymes flow off the tongue better and are easier to remember.

I'd also suggest a bit of checking on spelling, half-because I am fastidious over it, and half because I find it easier to read.

The line before the penultimate one doesn't have a rhyming line to it.

Overall, however straightforward imagery, I especially like towards the middle of the poem itself.

[Straightaway]

Cheers for feedin .
didnt was"down" - "groun" on the same line .

Bumpin