Who Can Relate

[Genocide]

this is for those that..
ever wanted life to end, or wondered what might be next
obsessed with mics n text, to express what fight is left
sortin through a mess, that separates this life from death
i guess maybe your sick, and tired of the way you exist
plainly convinced, daily mistakes are outweighing the gifts
shit.. if you can relate, pain consumes every movement u make
i usually take, mood altering booze with the food on my plate
high steaks what the gamble is, but can u really handle this..
is an answer that u cant admit, falling when u stand for it
calling for an ambulance, when suicide is what your cancer is..

Adolf S.




http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...316/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...744/index.html

[Isaiah Thomas]

I wish this was longer man it was dope! flow was definitely on point and the multis (I love to see multis used nicely) and you did a great job on that, like I said I wish it was longer!
I felt the content and my favorite bar was:
i guess maybe your sick, and tired of the way you exist
plainly convinced, daily mistakes are outweighing the gifts

I don't have an open mic but can you check out the video in my sig and tell me what you think through a comment a rating or just by subscribing haha

oh and yes I can relate!!!

[Novac]

Woah... this was a fucking honest piece.

I'm not really gonna get into my personal relation with what your saying here, it wouldn't be appropriate, but I'm definitely feeling you in a way that I can relate to and make this my own.

"mood altering booze with the food on my plate"

This hit me hard; I know exactly what your talking about. Take one twice a day with food or milk.

[M-Phantom]

Well not to be harsh but this wasn't great if even good at all. First off it's been done about 100 times before, maybe even thousands. No originality. Multis were decent but nothing that stands out, or that prolly hasn't been done before.

this is for those that..
ever wanted life to end, or wondered what might be next
obsessed with mics n text, to express what fight is left

The intro was your best lines, you had a pretty good intro.

umm, just suicide in itself is weak, I've had 3 friends commit suicide, and man it really sucks cause they took the easy way out, and I still have to suffer in the shitty world, and if I'm strong enough to do it then they should have been.

Still RIP rick, dan, and drew. I do miss you if you can see this, if heaven exist, im gonna sucker punch all 3 of you if I make it to heaven.


But back to the piece, I dunoo what else to say about it, even for a suicide piece, I really didn't feel the emotion you were trying to get acrossed, and you def could have shown way way more emotion.
Just wasn't feelin it srry.

My advice is keep elevating, work on your multi's just a little, and work on showing more emotion. The reader needs that raw emotion. Also this was way to short, shoulda been a couple paragraphs longer.

So overall I give this piece a 4 outa 10.

[Iglosone]

I liked this one.. I can relate for sure to about everything you said.. The rhyme scheme you started with was sick and you had it locked for awhile.. All I'd say is a piece like this needs a little more length to let out all fellings and emotion you wanna get out.. feel me.. not bad at all..

if you got a sec rtf please.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...845/index.html

[Rapstyles]

ever wanted life to end, or wondered what might be next
obsessed with mics n text, to express what fight is left
sortin through a mess, that separates this life from death
^^nice emotion and thought in this first part^^
i guess maybe your sick, and tired of the way you exist
plainly convinced, daily mistakes are outweighing the gifts
shit.. if you can relate, pain consumes every movement u make
^^same with this man... Liking the use of multies and wording^^
i usually take, mood altering booze with the food on my plate
high steaks what the gamble is, but can u really handle this..
is an answer that u cant admit, falling when u stand for it
calling for an ambulance, when suicide is what your cancer is..
^^fell off a bit here but still nice multies and wording...^^

Keep up man, I hope there's more to come cause this piece was pretty short... Ight fam stay up.

[Edison Av]

decent piece. simple but had good flow, multies and content. prolly the type of thing made for spittin over a beat. overall dope...

high steaks what the gamble is, but can u really handle this..
is an answer that u cant admit, falling when u stand for it
calling for an ambulance, when suicide is what your cancer is..

^ really was feelin this and

i guess maybe your sick, and tired of the way you exist
plainly convinced, daily mistakes are outweighing the gifts


^ was sick also.

This shit was hot, wish it were longer, but it's a good read for what it is. keep it up