Relax

[yung nothing]

Chillin with a cigarette in my between my fingers
keep the smoke in my throat allowing it to linger
gotta love life when your just relaxing
right here I feel good like nothings lacking
not care in the world, but I got my music blasting
that old black album in the background I'm just sitting there bottle smashing
lots of hustling in life theres alot of work to do
so I gotta love when I can kick my feet up and drink a cold brew
the hustle and the grind in daily life
get me feelin like durin down time I'm soarin just like a kite
shining like a light and feelin alright
cuz I know I'm gonna kick it real nice tonight
enjoy the moments I got, I dont wanna lose em
dont get to know the moments I got I dont get to choose em



damn here I go now its back to the grind
damn it felt like the period of relaxation went by in no time
Short like it was taken from me now thats a crime
and I spent all my cash to burn right down to the last dime
My time to relax is short not long
and unless I'm wrong it feels alot like a really sad song
cuz when its back to work it hurts like too much out of a beer bong
I wont keep writing much longer cuz this is pretty pointless
but thats the beauty of all of it do not much of anything and get refreshed
work forever and your gonna get depressed, never say your out and youll feel repressed
so I take some time off and let my life digress




pointless song about when I relax =p

[yung nothing]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...613/index.html

[yung nothing]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...551/index.html

[yung nothing]

no feed?

[yung nothing]

uppp

[Calli]

this was not bad.....if anythying, FLOW was good. a lil simple for me though, i would like to see you really reach for different ideas. i have seem most of these lines before.....not saying BIT, but genaric. step outside of the box and really attack a verse....was not bad though man. keep writing bruh

[yung nothing]

thanks for the feed

[Tommy Prophit]

Hmm... i agree with Calli's statement. So for someone who listens to rappers that provide more substance in each line... and also puts it into practice himself, this IS pretty simple. I'm afraid that this didn't amuse me. It seems like you haven't been writing for a long time, that's probably why, but then I don't know.
But if you've been writing for 2+ years, this isn't where you should be or WANT to be. Listen to rappers such as Chino XL, Eminem, Big Pun, Big L, Canibus.. and others on that level for reference.
Aim high, and in time, you'll only get better.
Then maybe you'll want to switch your name to Young Something lol and that there is a joke... of which I always try to make to lighten things up! Keep at it man.

[.Prime.]

Not gonna lie I wasn't a big fan. I mean it seemed pretty simple and lacked metaphors and wordplay. I guess you where trying to describe your surroundings at the time but this kind of seemed simple and done to death. Not trying to bring you down though keep elevating and doing your thing man, you'll improve. Please RTF on my new open mic house of flying bullets.