Opposites

[Buzz_LiGHTY3AR]

Im a chef, the only nigga opposite of left..
I ref, by givin out the opposite of death..
At night, unseen like I'm the opposite of sight..
Alright, I like hoes thats the opposite of light..
Like bullets I bring niggas the opposite of life..
I murder until no ones the opposite of right..
I might, go make yo girl the opposite of tight..
She like me, so she the opposite of dikes..
Of course, I turn niggas the opposite of force..
By force, I make niggas the opposite of noise..
See ya boys? They act like they the opposite of boys..
They are whores.... So now they are the opposite of yours..
They mine.. I'll shoot you opposite of yo behind..
In time, bullets make you the opposite of fine..
I'M GREAT, the only nigga opposite of fake..
So hate.. And I'll show you the opposite of hate..


http://www.rapbattles.com/forums/sho...799/index.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...564/index.html

[Lil Dizzee Deuce]

I like this piece could it confused me lol. I had to read it over again sometimes to get what the opposite was. It quite clever that you put the opposites in and probs took some planning to do so respect for that. I like the "By force, I make niggas the opposite of noise.." line cause it made me laff and also the "Like bullets I bring niggas the opposite of life/I murder until no ones the opposite of right.." bar cause i think its clever. This is a very good piece man, if you could put more to it and make like a full piece it would be very intresting. However, i think maybe it could flow better in some places and some rhymes were simple but no hate, i like this piece!

[Buzz_LiGHTY3AR]

Thanks man, I kinda intentionally took the simpler route with this one.. I figured if I used more complex words the opposite of them would be even more confusing.. This is actually a older piece I just figured I'd put it up here..

[Lil Dizzee Deuce]

I think you need to post links to pieces you have put feedback on or the mods will close down your thread. I think you need 2.

[Buzz_LiGHTY3AR]

I think I should've read the rules first :\.. bah.. this is gonna be hell to do on my cellphone..

[SHOK-VAL-U]

Im a chef, the only nigga opposite of left..
I ref, by givin out the opposite of death..
yes
At night, unseen like I'm the opposite of sight..
Alright, I like hoes thats the opposite of light..
no
Like bullets I bring niggas the opposite of life..
I murder until no ones the opposite of right..
yes..lol
I might, go make yo girl the opposite of tight..
She like me, so she the opposite of dikes..
yes
Of course, I turn niggas the opposite of force..
By force, I make niggas the opposite of noise..
yes
See ya boys? They act like they the opposite of boys..
They are whores.... So now they are the opposite of yours..
yes
They mine.. I'll shoot you opposite of yo behind..
In time, bullets make you the opposite of fine..
no
I'M GREAT, the only nigga opposite of fake..
So hate.. And I'll show you the opposite of hate..
^you'll how them love if they hate?lol

anyway,not seen this done before,well written for what you were doing,a tiny bit repetitive at times,but still kept me reading,RTF on my piece i dropped,

7/10

[Phoenix.]

This wasn't my cup of tea if I'm honest with you, I'm not a big fan of self glory. I think the concept was there but it could have been executed better but it's still better than 90% of the self glory stuff I'm reading lately. Hmm, some things seemed put in there just to make it rhyme also. I know you were trying to use simple words as you stated but I don't think you should have, just for the pure fact that I felt it didn't impact the reader as much which made the imagery less present but thats just my opinion. I'm not hating on you man, constructive criticism, I'll look out for your next drop I guess because I can see that you have the concepts down I just want to see you write something deeper I guess.

[SirusX 2.0]

basic verse.. kinda wack
line for line breakdown

Im a chef, the only nigga opposite of left..
-what does chef have to do with being right?
I ref, by givin out the opposite of death..
-how does a ref give life?
At night, unseen like I'm the opposite of sight..
-ok
Alright, I like hoes thats the opposite of light..
-ok
Like bullets I bring niggas the opposite of life..
-ok
I murder until no ones the opposite of right..
-you used the oppo of left, its playyed
I might, go make yo girl the opposite of tight..
-ok, simple
She like me, so she the opposite of dikes..
-ok
Of course, I turn niggas the opposite of force..
-what is the oppo of force.. no force.. lol its lame
By force, I make niggas the opposite of noise..
-forced this hard.. lol
See ya boys? They act like they the opposite of boys..
-ok
They are whores.... So now they are the opposite of yours..
-ok, the rhyme scheme fell off hard
They mine.. I'll shoot you opposite of yo behind..
-lame
In time, bullets make you the opposite of fine..
-real lame
I'M GREAT, the only nigga opposite of fake..
-lame
So hate.. And I'll show you the opposite of hate..
-ok

so yea, like i said kinda wack...
cool idea basic flow could have developed the ideas better.

[Buzz_LiGHTY3AR]

^_^ Jinkies..

No harm done, in actuality I want to hear more negative feedback.. Knowing whats wrong makes problems easier to fix. So keep 'em coming..

[yungskeeme]

I like the concept. I'd love to hear this on a beat. Think it would be nice. Good job though.

[Calli]

this was touch and go, some lines were Nice others you should have left off or reworded.....seemed more so like you were tired of opposites about half way through, not a bad idea though, if you would have picked more challenging ideas. read well, and had a good flow.

Keep it up.

[Buzz_LiGHTY3AR]

Oi.. thanks for the feed ^_^ much appreciated, and at Katana.'s request, I'll be dropping a deeper piece.
Thanks again..

Oh and before I forget to remember, this is a statement for those who didn't already know:
-Tacos. That is all.
^_^

[Mimic]

Again another odd peice, somthing different from the usual bog standard lol,
to be fairly honest it's concepts like these i don't like to get involved with much because it throws me off my usual writing abilities, but that isn't a mark down, i like this peice as how clever it was in most places i got hold of your concept even though it isn't what im into but to get me interested in something i don't pay much attention to must be decent so good job,
i would say next time you write more lines and try and grab more people's attention by taking that extra few minutes to make it smoother,
Good read keep it up