A knock on heavens door.

[Chris-Poth]

A knock on heavens door, not just a metaphor...
Something a little harder so i can set the score...
See i saw something that made me think two years back...
I saw something that makes me bring a few tears back...
Come to think of it, at the time i did not cry...
I was shocked, did i just see my sick pop die?
I fell to my knees, then i fell to my elbows and squeezed...
Out that first tear, that you seldom would see...
I knelt on one knee, looked up and dealt him a plea...
Since you took him, take me, its selfish indeed...
I know, but at the time i was lost, broken, and broke...
I got up, and told myself to stop smokin, and hope...
But got caught up, and couldnt stop tokin the dope...
And this dope wasnt pot, it was not coke, it was dope...
Your at a dark place when you rip open that tar bag...
Tin foil, a pen tube, a lighter, its all bad...
I call that, getting caught by the devils lasso...
I thought it was a phase, i thought i could let it pass, no...
As gloomy as it got though, i never used a needle...
I told myself at that point, im sure id be through and evil...
Crude and deceitful, so i knew i couldnt stoop that low...
Saw my friends tyin off and said you shouldnt do that bro...
Everyone around me fell even faster then me dude...
And i slowly started to see the disaster it leads to...
I had a dream, i got a bag opened it up and smoked it...
Right as i went to inhale, the foil was a locust...
I saw it as the tar was the locust, the locust is a plague...
I knew what it meant, but its hard to focus in a rage...
It opened my eyes, I saw where my path was headed...
I was ashamed of myself, not something i half regretted..
I manned up, no hand reached out for me to stand up...
I did it myself, its bad stuff, i had to stand tough...
Think you've had a bad week? Try withdrawing from heroin...
It's rock bottom, its a pitfall and its embarassing...
4 days of puking, cold sweats, and no sleep...
Body aches, plus my stomach hurts i wont eat...
A week later, a warm embrace, i feel fine physically...
But the harder part is trying to heal your mind instantly...
But i did, my willpower was stronger then ever...
Instead of tar, shit i just hit the bong and im better...
Been clean two months, and though it was said before...
Sobriety for me, was a knock on heavens door...


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...639/index.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...538/index.html

[Soule]

Emotional, but you really need to work on wording man. It held the piece back a tid bit. Flow was cool, used some solid internal rhyming but I feel like you could still strengthen the multi-syllable job at the end of every line. Change your structre around, it seems a averagely produced. Work on wording, work on rhymescheme. Okay piece, keep elevating.

[Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere]

i thought this was a really deep piece i thought the structure was on point and the flow was really nice im not sure bout the wording complaint cuz its such a deep piece you should spit it how it comes to you , this was really raw man good drop

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...713/index.html

[Chris-Poth]

Black saturn is a bitch who doesnt like that im talented and will insult any of my writtens. Its all good tho. Theres someone like him on every fucking site

[Soule]

I complimented you aswell, sorry your to close minded to realise that.

[Chris-Poth]

You told me my compound syllable rhyming isnt on point... Ummm....

I fell to my knees, then i fell to my elbows and squeezed...
Out that first tear, that you seldom would see...
I knelt on one knee, looked up and dealt him a plea...
Since you took him, take me, its selfish indeed...

Ya I got the multies down, thats why I dont take your criticism serious

[Soule]

I said you have multies, but your end syllable rhyme could be better.

[Chris-Poth]

Ya... So could eminem's on some verses. So could Big L's. When it works it works. And when its not gonna work, i do the same thing Big L, Eminem, Lloyd Banks and Big Daddy Kane do, i rap it anyways with just the one or two syllables