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Thread: "She Flew Away"

  1. #1
    IPeace. Costa.'s Avatar
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    "She Flew Away"

    Transferring to another college and I won't be seeing my baby for awhile, hopefully to see her over the summer, but I will definitely visit her once the school year starts. As you may not know, I am hard of hearing, No I don't speak verbal/vocally or even try to, just sign language. This is a poem about me letting go of Alesha at the airport. Enjoy the poem. Onelove.




    She was in my arms, within my grasp
    Time moved slowly, seconds are minutes-
    Minutes feels hours, hours turn to a lifetime.
    Through my teary eye’s’, everything blurry,
    My eye’s burned with agony and anguish,
    Body at ease but my fingers were numb.
    I kissed her on the cheek then the lips,
    Looked deep into her eye’s and I tripped,
    Fell into a deep hole of sorrow, tears flowed.
    Drowning and choking in the river of grief,
    Opened my eye’s and for the first time,
    I breathed, in a relief, she’s still standing here.
    “I love you” she mouthed with no voice,
    An acapella but it made my heart skip a beat,
    “I love you too” and those words sting me-
    It was the last sentence before I released-
    The cocoon cracked, it was time to go,
    The cocoon broke, it was time to be free,
    We both spread our wings,
    Took on two different horizontal paths
    But hopefully it’ll intercept & meet,
    She took a part of me and I took part of her,
    Two different worlds met and shared,
    Became one like the shining sun-
    Our love is so far beyond the outer space
    We formed an galaxy of our own,
    And when we meet again, like a full moon
    Our love shall brightly be shown.

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    Write Now, I'm at Ease.

  2. #2
    Newbie Dan V's Avatar
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    Re: "She Flew Away"

    Hello, first off I thought the image to accompany your work was fantastic.
    For me, it made me want to read your piece, just to see what you wrote to compliment the image. You've a very nice nartive and informative style about your writing.
    The topic seemed effortless to you, so I am going to guess you have someone special in your life, worth writing this for.
    You kept me wanting right up to the end, your style left me wanting another stanza.

  3. #3
    IPeace. Costa.'s Avatar
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    Re: "She Flew Away"

    Yep. Thanks for the feed. Appreciate it

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    Write Now, I'm at Ease.

  4. #4
    Newbie
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    nottingham
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    Re: "She Flew Away"

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-399108.html
    upping for feedback on both (old pieces not my best but still enjoy)
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-399109.html


    apoc : in real life the good guy dies

    p.s nice piece

  5. #5
    Big Guns.... obseqious's Avatar
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    Re: "She Flew Away"

    its all good to me i thought maybve a little more detail an imagry but def a good peice keep up.....
    ""If you write for yourself or a loved one, you can never be wrong!!!!""
    -The world makes me cold,the marines make me thoughtless-the difference between you and me is, thats just it...

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