It feel like my bones is brittle
My heart is a mess
I guess every breath is just another little scar in my chest
The tar on my charred lungs burnin
From smokin so much
Tokin it up
Thought it was an alternative to blowing things up
But no it didnt help
O well you might as well
(Just give me one good time)
Cuz every moment dat pass
May be my last
So give me one good time is all dat i ask
i dont know man, when I first started writing I wrote the same way and never really took it to the heart. I dont think you really took this to heart. Im going to be honest this wasnt really worth reading. Im not saying you cant write something worth reading I just think you arent looking in the right place. For me, its not about making it flow to a beat or anything. Alot of my stuff will only flow well if read at the right pace and its nearly impossible to ask someone to read at the pace you wrote it at. But the topic and content is where you are going to draw someones attention. Just take something that you find yourself thinking about, a loved one, an event, just anything and make a story out of it. Surprise the reader or make the reader feel like he or she is in it. Im not trying to put you down and I only want to give you the same advice someone gave me at one point.
Scytsophrenia
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