Wk 5; Beyonic Vs CrosT Over.

[Orc]

http://i31.tinypic.com/14479ja.jpg


I think we all know how this goes, but for the few new additions;

Check in by Wednesday, or YOU LOSE! No exceptions.
This is to reduce the chances of you turning faggot at the last minute and posting up an old piece you wrote years ago.
I REALLY hope you don't do shit like that...please write fresh and don't do gay things that show how bad you really suck.

Maximum FIFTY lines, if you drop more, your opponent can request a DQ.
Please keep these verses fairly quick and easy to read.
That'll keep votes and interest going!

Due Friday, Midnight.

No show twice in a row and you're OUT, for at least a week.
Oh, and & 3 voting links or you lose. NO exceptions.

[CrosT Over]

checkin in
good luck

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...le-368915.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ic-368919.html

[Beyond]

Good luck, man.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17&postcount=9
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...25&postcount=8
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...6&postcount=10
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...7&postcount=10

[Beyond]

Grave Robber
Every cadaver needs a coffin.

The ground ached around graves as the pickax dug…
Convulsing earthworms, dirt turned in the pitch black sun.
The full moon and the stars eyeballing the progress.
Cosmically conscious, lightbeams falling like comets.
The headstone stood it’s ground centered at the sphere,
While the grasshoppers jittered and whispered in my ear.
The shovel shovelled and the gravel melted beneath,
Dissolving into an oak encasement that yelped with a clink.
Removing crowbar, no large task lies ahead.
Just the cold clench and the old stench of the lifeless dead.
The must breathed at me and the crust caressed me,
The dust infests me and the mud is deadly.
With one lithe motion the crumbled lid opens decayed.
While the reticent corpse with essence in fourths,
Dozes away under the black locust encaved.
Absolved from life, writhes the bodybag for travel.
Hoisted onto the getaway stallion in motley clad and saddle.
Escape from the gravesite, flank right to the farmstead.
Arms, head; bounce playfully as I charge to the far crest.
Austere breeze splashes my face and wets my brow,
Hair waving to the rosebushes to the west and south.
Whimsical movement emerges, surges in the distance.
No doubt the purge of the resistance, urgent with affliction.
Caught in their sights off the gleam of the hollowest knife,
Chase ensues as I race the dunes for my solemnest rights.
Creating a ruckus, the babel increases sparingly.
As they gain on me clutchin’ the saber in sequined rarity.
The plan to flee dies out on the apogee of the hillside,
My strategy’s that they battle me as the wind chimes.
Unsheathing my bionic blade and chronic craze in time,
The tragedy is in sight as the metallic demon’s end shines.
With a demonic haze of God inflamed and phosphorus lead,
It’s name: Enzyme - for speeding up the process of death.
The first assailant’s thirst for ragin’ starts with a Bowie,
As he charges me slowly, then bursts adjacent.
Metal clashing before I turn to feign him —
Without arcing it wholely, nick his arteries solely.
‘Til his life’s hanging by a thread from the arsenic coating.
Poised to behead with the poisonous edge…
The rest of the insurgents gather, environed around me.
As the warhorn sounds with them eyeing their bounty.
All slash at once thrusts as I parry in a circle,
While bowmen on horseback shoot arrows that encircle.
My blood weeps and cuts cry out it’s the last stand,
Exit wound floodgates drowning the grasslands.
Haggard hands, knived knees; I crawl to the corpse.
And with a severed smile call to the source,
“Your grave is mine now,” as they maul me with force.

[CrosT Over]

The End of The Beginning

A cold breeze settles deep within my soul’s spine
Spiritually broke down, can’t even afford a line
This is the beginnings end and the end of times
As the shiver spreads his position crosses two lines

If you claim greatness I can debate this preposterous hate list
Vacate the grounds on terms the lion deemed worthy
Touched by the spirit, ironically drowned by the clergy
For strictly self actions needed in order to truly purge thee
The only relevant trinity; FATHER, SON, and the HOLY SPIRIT
Fear it, for this powers out of your control, fate can seer it
The bind the link, the relationship coursing through your veins
As if to imitate the blindness of drunks into preoccupied lanes
Don’t strain your brain on this plain obvious game
Most roads lead to gain, but when fire rains, my lord will reign
Destruction envelopes upon society causing turmoil in the masses
Shattering glasses, humanity freezes as this moment passes
Not intelligence learned in classes, good from evil he slashes
Caution was forewarned just as our sins were blood forgiven
Christians are Christians, he takes us all not just the more driven
Actions of the everlasting relationship; wastin your minutes with MARY
enacts a moment of clarity; she can’t get you to heaven only he can carry
The weight of our sins, formed on the cross when life after death begins
He resides at the head of the table when we’re out of our skins

In a spiritual sense I need to be broken, in life I’m well spoken
On a number of irrelevant topics, but sins blood leaves my veins choking
My pride burns leaving the stench of my smoldering flesh
Two lives can’t be lead by one, my dreams and his goals can’t mesh
Lord you are my carrier pigeon, delivering prayers so elegantly written,
I Just hope at this point God’s favor isn’t to well hidden.

[Engivale]

Beyonic - really nice read, man, I liked it a lot. I liked how it ended, but, I think you started it better, it really rolled for about 20 lines and then got a bit less interesting as it unfolded, but u did a great job building it up and keeping a strong rhymescheme going... I'm impressed, that was some pretty top-notch writing, this piece would have beaten a ton of ppl this week. Good write, man.

Crost - just a little bit less in rhythm than Beyonic's, it was good, but it didn't have that really good pace going, and some of the rhymes are just kind of difficult to get to. The piece didn't seem to have a really clear direction, given where it started about lines of coke, and then talking all philosophically about God, it just didn't seem to all link up. Seemed sort of rushed, maybe? I guess that's why u seperated the first part, tho, it was a decent write but I expect more from you cuz ur a talented writer... step the game up next week, but quite honestly, you just ran into a really nice verse from Beyonic he wanted this win pretty bad I guess.

vote to beyonic

[Cody Nash]

Beyonic... good piece... rhymescheme was down to point, the only issue I have with it was maybe there was too much middle to it... like you had way more than you needed to get this point across, which made it sort've drag but then you quickly picked up and saved yourself which is good... I liked it... good job... nice read...


crost, okay in all honesty I was bored when I read it... I've heard and seen it all... god god god... just sort've made me feel bleh while reading it... and the flow was off and it felt like you forced yourself to write this... maybe you were lost on a concept so you forced one out of yourself... dunno... just didn't get into the piece, sorry...



easy decision for me honestly...



vote Beyonic...

[CrosT Over]

no doubt thanks for votes fellas....
eng however where is your mind at? that's not supposed to be a coke reference!
cry i know yours isn't one to fall to the godly perspective and thats your deal,personally when adapting the rapture into the resurection(which i have rarely seen before) it isn't a bore......

however my fault for not being clearer and more simplistic, and not spending the time needed, i will be head huntin next week!

[Cody Nash]

lol... you don't need to be clearer and more simplistic... it's just been done before... you actually need to figure out different mechanics I think. your verses are sort've simplistic as is... not being an ass I'm just saying. you don't have a real solid rhymescheme which made an already done concept even more bland.

[CrosT Over]

no doubt...always room to improve, and as far as i understand i have a lot of room it seems...thanx for thoughts

[_Lyrics]

beyonic- wow man, im impressed i dont think i've read anything from you in this league yet, but im going to have to watch out then wont I? the flow was sick and in the beginning your rhyme scheme was off the hook, i was laughing outloud reading it, really dope stuff man. i mean the writing was original and the story stuck. multis were hot too, really progressed the read for me, I zoomed right through it. got to give you props on the imagery.

CrosTover- pretty cool read aswell, i mean the the content didnt offer me as much as beyonics did though, flow wise and imagery wise, i mean yours did come with a decent take on your topic, but it seemed like the piece lacked a solid rhymescheme and did alot of transitions throughout. plus it just didnt spark alot of interest to me. i think the story did have potential though. and your writing was good, but was just outdone in alot of areas..

v/beyonic

[Meters]

cool battle.
Crost, you had some cool lines in there, but i wasn't feeling your take on your topic.. honestly, that's just preference though. guess i've just had my fair share of fire and brimstone for one lifetime (ironic, right?). anyway, the writing wasn't bad, but you sometimes just rhymed for the sake of it. rhyming is a device, use it to help you communicate, not just because you can. you had some cool stuff here though, even if it wasn't my cup of tea.

Beyonic- was feeling your verse a lot, you're obviously talented. mechanics, story, and all that were straight so i'll just jump to some advice that I could better employ myself.. you're smart, but try not to be so flashy as to use everything you know in a piece. Not to say that's the case here, but sometimes i feel like you threw in words that did deal with the subject matter but weren't really assisting you in as clear and concise a meaning/image/whatever as you can achieve. anyway, i'd break it down more, but i'm tired as fuck. nice verse

vote- beyonic