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Thread: The Vacant Skies

  1. #1
    Banned
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    The Vacant Skies

    First drop here....................
    tell me what you think.









    Reach into the clouds and reserve a seat
    For when my soul is found and death deicides to greet
    Greivance for the sky won't uphold your chances
    Of entering in time.. Before they close off the mansion
    Lock the doors to the shimmering moon and stars.
    Then stop the force that's entering my soothing bars.
    As letters fell from the horizon, P-O-E-T came together
    I set aside thoughts of violence and tried to clear the weather
    No rainy days with tears.. Only sunbeams drench my face
    Complaining of a change in fears after gaining heavens faith
    A sinner who seen dreams of diseased teens and hates it
    I've won over greed but grief seeps from me like satan
    Once my palms grasp a flask of happiness and smiles
    I'll relax and detach the half that slits and cries for miles
    The sky is vacant as far as our studies show
    And god'll need a replacement once he is able to let go.
    A diamond cluttered canvas, Held between my fingers
    Needs repair from past damage as lost souls linger
    Our ghosts were denied by the sky and walk this planet
    Now their minds are aligned with mine, communication outlandish
    Jibberish was whispered and their vibrations were felt.

    "Hey, Mister! Please.. I'm dead and still need help..
    The sky wasn't vacant and now I live the afterlife with no home
    I'm becoming impatient and I can't write with no light.. So Alone."

    When my time is reached I'll reach for a childs hands to grasp
    I won't step to leave without my sleeve being tugged to the grass
    I'll share the seat I worked for and love every second of it
    Take care of those in need and hope they learn something from it..
    Carry a corpse's outline thru the weather into the past time..
    Answering their cries
    Then hope for one last time that together, intertwined
    We can reach the vacant skies...
    Last edited by ~Random~; May 10th, 2008 at 02:31 AM Reason: Messed up

  2. #2
    Born from Ink Spekz.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    35
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    3,184
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    Re: The Vacant Skies

    *Read Rules*

    Need 2 links of feedback (or this will be closed)

    Thank You
    Succeed Without Fear



    Written Voices

  3. #3

  4. #4
    NortherN Star
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    West Coast
    Posts
    71

    Re: The Vacant Skies


    I Liked The Choice Of Words, And The Subtle Flow,
    Wasn't So Sure 'Bout The Dialogue...Like It Kind Of
    Broke Away From The Imagery In The Stanza Before It.
    Nice Piece, Though.

    Stay Real.


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