1-2 Punch Week 7 Mag

[Warming]

Intro

Too bad Lawgic didn't get anything to me yet. He did a nice job with the mag last week after my work got deleted so props to him.

Anyways, I'm keeping this short for now in case I do get something.

[Warming]

Battle Reviews

Kevin Brown 4-1 Vs. Tim 4-2

fuck this wrecked ho, bitch ass faggot's into homo sex, yo
when tim pops his top off,
dudes jam their fruit down his neck n' throat- like beer in mexico!

this dudes clever with the concepts at 4-1 so let me be kind hearted
they say KBs punches are at wits end but i didnt even know they started

Kevin had an alright attempt here but his punch needs some rewording to read smoother and hit harder. Tim's punch was simple and well executed, enough to win this comfortably.

Dominate 5-1 Vs. SoberSE0ULja 5-1

Bet he's guessin he'll take this, but my verses emergin to trump him
So minus Pope Pius in the 50s no-one's confirming this virgin's assumption

Dom's known as the headmaster, always kneeled right on the floor
Speakin French to end this faster, im gonna show this Dumb le door

Dominate took this easily, even tho his concept wasn't that harsh. Sober's punch was pretty awful.

Dominance 0-3 Vs. Meks. 0-2

bitch is fat as fuck, a small child could crawl in his head a while
and he'd like it.......... he's a fuckin 45 year old pedophile

Ridin' Mariah's clit all day,every day,but look here chump
All it takes is a screenshot to show that u aint measuring up

so i just looked at the votes and dom won 8-7. Both Meks and Dom had pretty funny links even tho it looked like Dom just photoshopped a picture over Mek's avatar. I think Meks should have probably won this but ultimately it won't matter, as neither will be able to get into playoffs.

Ramcees 1-2 Vs. Kaotic. 1-2

fucka' ram ill murder you, your profession is in less skill
never heard of you, must be a fucking newb battling N FL

dude, if ya palms couldnt reach ya dick...ya wouldnt hav a sex life Rookie
so ill do u a favour,
...................and beat you till everything you see, looks like a blue Movie

neither of these punches were great but Kao's was marginally better, i'm not sure what the blue Movie really had to do with anything

Burden. 3-1 Vs. Akademiks. 3-3

You're not a G, and gun thuggin' is just fake, hot head.
& acupuncture noones lungs so battling you is a safe process.

This burden is soo played, like the "oldies", sorry you met me pops
Trying to be gangsta, wearin red...........................
...................But you aint reppin bloods, it's just speghetti sauce

Weird punch from Akademiks. Burden had an interesting wordplay that I think he could have done a lot more with. Burd wins.

Warming 4-2 Vs. Cuttz 4-2

kids i'm pristine, this beggar just bleeds
what did cuttz ever put out.. that wasn't putrid and diseased

He's right I'm sick wit it! while This Fag jus for real won't stop...
Call it quits..
U been 'Warming' since 06..and U still not Hot..

This battle was closer than I expected. I feel like Cutzz's punch against me is kind of played but that doesn't always matter in this league. Anyways I won this 10-6, good battle.

BXTreme 1-0 Vs. P. Mortuus 2-0

text'ns a bloodsport same shit inpiring vann damm
and your All Ah, just throw in the towel like retiring afghans

cums weak but he's a lone fighter- left no lovemarks he's not a biter
deep in what his fruit cock-entails- teeth, sweat, a tash & saliva

pretty close battle, i don't think either of these were worded too effectively, bx took it by a couple of votes

Chris Topher 3-0 Vs. Supernat 3-1

Chris ya concepts have no imagination, you'll lose and this whore'll be pissed
its not that u don't fit the picture, cuz you're still needin that in order to diss

You never had sex and for a 20 year old it's...pretty sure, unusual
Verbal Intercourse? NO, your sig shows your real age in Roman Numerals

Not bad from Supernat. Chris Topher's attempt to create a fake personal backfired pretty badly.

Cry 4-2 Vs. -Seyance- 4-1

sey's a bitch... you never got any vagine so stop clownin', kid...
'cuz even stephen king could vouche, that you never been down with it

I've seen Cry elevate, now he actin' like his word is grand..
Yeah you've come a long way.. but it's clear your still a journey man

Sey ended up winning this. There's no doubt his concept was more original but I don't think he worded it harshly enough. Cry's punch wasn't bad, I've seen IT punches before and still voted for him. On a side note here's an interesting quote:

I hate how the people I lose to in here, are people I'd slaughter in LLL.
just throwing that out there...

I'm not sure where his 3rd loss came from off-hand but I'm not convinced he could slaughter Seyance or Bayou in LLL. Maybe one of them will sign up and request him for an entrance mask. Haha, anyways, moral of the story is that LLL is going to be dope again so sign up for that or junior if you haven't already.

Diso 3-3 Vs. C.Wrighter 3-3

when you walk below me you have no rapport or dreams
Wrighter's under pressure cause its clear low support beams

diso believes he unbeatable but this crab aint melt me, "It aint a Dream"
the hole site know this crab aint got good self a steam

both of these punches were mangled, diso's a little less so

Sianide 2-3 Vs. Vincible 2-3

sianide?......in this battle I resort to heavy sinning
cuz masturbating in trophy cases the closest he 'came' to winning/

on mics, im like jordan...and here, i inja fakes
you<--the opposite of what those numbers 2 and 3 indicate

Sianide could have no showed and still probably got my vote. Pretty gay n played concept from vincivle here.

Nyce. 2-4 Vs. Joker. 2-4

Everyone thinks your gay, straight roads we can't find dude
And sure your hardcore...with that hard dick always inside you

Your too soft to brawl, the type to back down from a fight
So when we see a hard punch landin....we kno it aint Nyce.

Nyce's punch was rather poor, Joker's personal was played too but the concept and wording was still a little better.

RicanTheoryz™ 3-3 Vs. .:SoLidClipZ:. 3-3

trust me when i say you're dumb, my punches leave you senseless
make your head spin around faster than you can turn wrenches

Rican dropped a no show punch too early. Good thing for solid cuz I can't imagine his punch beating anyone in a real contest.

Philly® 4-0 Vs. Brandon Cee 5-1

i'm tired of the noelle's, n wack punches is were the truth begins..
so bad enuff u force'em.. 's the fact it consists of mariah and 2 friends

Sup Philly? I'm droppin alias disses n I come and go as I please bitch
So if it comes to a Teacher < that's all I need to learn about diseases

A very, very close battle but I think the outcome was correct (6-4 to Philly). Brandon's accompanying quote wasn't very strong and his setup didn't add much to the punch. Philly's punch bordered on being played but he flipped it well enough that it worked out.

White-Winter 2-4 Vs. Roy L. 2-3

nah, women ain't feelin dude, they say he aint hot we can all tell...
white winter? shit that must stand for snowballs chance in hell

I`m through with you.. an it looks like ya ability is following suit
I`ll have you in a 3-piece.. decked out.. an personally given the boot

pretty close battle here, winter ended up taking it. My problem with Roy L's punch was he didn't clarify what winter didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of doing, whether it was getting girls, winning the battle, etc... Sure it's nit picky but it does matter. I thought winter's connected a little better, even though it was nothing amazing.

Mariah Noelle 4-2 Vs. Ncognegro 4-2

I'll Beat the slut to a pulp & saying she rival me? nicca ya cheap jokin
If I'm comin neck to neck with the bitch she MUST be deep throat'n

See, the fact is you're wack and your skills aren't sweet bro
Funk is your Alias...and it's the only way we consider Ncog-nito

I thought this battle was pretty one-sided. Ncog's concept was a lot harsher and the wording was relatively solid. Mariah's wp didn't do enough to insult her opponent.

No Show Shine

fucka Core, ima attack full force, ya brain cant handle the beat.
im not wrong when i leave correct, sprawled out on the street.

-Rule versus Core Vet

[Warming]

reserved.

[Warming]

Playoffs, The Likely Contenders

This isn't a ranking list, its a list of people most likely to make it to playoffs.

1. Philly
He's lethal, hasn't lost yet, and remains a serious contender for champing the league.

2. Seyance

Took one suspicious loss. Otherwise he has been having a pretty solid season with lots of fresh concepts.

3. Starscream!

A staple battler in playoffs, bayou drops fire when he needs to. I'm hoping we get a chance to battle soon.

4. Dominate

Dom's pretty much secured his spot in playoffs with the most wins in the league. His 6 wins don't mean he'll have an easier time there though. He definitely lucked out with some easy match-ups and no shows early in the season and will be held to much higher scrutiny now.

5. Tim

A seasoned and versatile text battler in any league, and a former champ.

6. Twixn

Besides no showing for his past battle Twixn has been having a pretty solid season, proving Philly isn't the only audio head that can text.

7. Brandon Cee

Brandon's been dropping pretty cool lately and seems motivated, I can't see any reason for him stop doing so.

8. Beyond

Another consistent battler with some deep playoff experience and some amazingly fresh concepts. I'm expecting a good battle between him and Brandon this week.

9. Ncognegro

Gotta give this kid his due, he has elevated a lot this season, and if he stays motivated he can keep pulling out upsets.

10. SoberSEOULja

It's no secret that I don't dig this kid's style that much but he's getting the votes when it matters. A word of advice though, if you want to stay in contention for playoffs you've gotta watch out for some played material and make sure you're punches don't require any explanation. I still can't believe you beat Sey with that atrocious Mormon punch.

11. Warming

Since I'm writing the mag I might as well stick around for playoffs.

12-16: The Brink Battlers

Anyone with 5 wins or more, i.e., everyone listed so far is favored to get into playoffs. For those of you with 4 wins (or less) its more murky territory. Here are the cats with 4 wins I consider most likely to advance to playoffs.

Burden
Cry
Rule
Supernat

But Keep an Eye on

Mariah Noelle 4-3
Cuttz 4-3
kb-s 4-3


This list is just my best guess at who will make playoffs but anything can happen. You might even be able to make playoffs from 3 wins (thought it won't be easy).

[Warming]

Outro

You know. I'm not convinced that everyone in this league has the right mentality right now. People complain about noobish voters and some of the battlers in this league. And a lot of it's justified.

So stop dropping shitty lines, your lines should devastate your opponent. The 1-2 punch isn't about making e-friends. It's about devising the most damaging insults you can come up with, and getting 1-upped by your opponent half the time anyway. Being clever isn't enough. Having a good concept or wordplay with shitty wording isn't enough. The 1-2 punch is one of the best leagues on this site to showcase your ability, and to dramatically elevate it. Bring back the fire or leave. Why else would you want to be here?

The 1-2 isn't supposed to have no shows. It isn't supposed to have wack battlers that guarantee you a win. Cats should have to try out for this league next season. The number should be kept down, there should be do or die matches as soon as your record starts slipping and additional rules that force people to drop better. And C.A.S., while you do a great job, I think a co-mod would be good for the league. LLL has 4 mods, and they don't have nearly as many battles to set. People, let me know what you think and more importantly, do what you need to do to get to playoffs.

[Warming]

Respond

[soberSE0ULja]

Decent mag warming. The reason i won against sey wasn't just because of noob voters, cause a couple older heads voted for me too. his punch just didnt come out strong either, even though mine was played. his was slightly humorous, but not a hard punch.

either way, this week was garbage for me, i know. I got fucken lazy this week and even admitted it to dom haha. he deserved the win. i mean, i dunno what i was thinkin with a harry potter concept haha.

anyhooo, just some input on your battle warming....your opponent probably had the most played line to your name, but your line was just kind meh too. was just kind of a bland punch imo.

lets both come out stronger next week sucka.

peace

[Leonidas]

I have a co-mod....Tim,lol. And there's a lot more stuff to handle in LLL than in here.

[Orc]

Nice shit Warming, good to see you putting the effort in.

[Kaotic Theory]

good mag....my punch may not of been great but was a far improvement from the past 3 weeks considering im usually not a textcee

[R!canTheoryz]

Nigga never has anything good to say about me lol .. but other then that its a hot mag keep at it!

[Tim]

I have a co-mod....Tim,lol. And there's a lot more stuff to handle in LLL than in here.

word no offense warming and great job on the mags , but the 1-2 punch league is just a gimmick league for fun i like most the people in this league come up with punches in about 10 min. so of course some peoples punches are going to look like shit. And there will never be a need for a tryout to get into 1-2 punch because like i said this league is a gimmick just for fun (as you can see from some topical battlers being here) no-showing is the same way as they know this fact, but overal good mag.

[Orc]

Yea, word to Tim.

[Rule.]

props to warming for puttin in the time to do these mags. nice read.

[Seyance]

Decent mag warming. The reason i won against sey wasn't just because of noob voters, cause a couple older heads voted for me too. his punch just didnt come out strong either, even though mine was played. his was slightly humorous, but not a hard punch.

Don't front, every vet in that thread voted for me.. it's just lucky for you theres more newbs around. I'm not tryna say my punch was mental, cause it wasn't i dropped what I knew should win.