User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: The Snow Falls, But the Lady Protests

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Age
    32
    Posts
    380
    Battle Record
    2-4

    The Snow Falls, But the Lady Protests



    Sitting, legs stretched out, feline death maneuver,
    the cradled infant, seventy years far too old
    roughly wrinkled,multi grain wheat colored flesh
    peerless eyes, dull witted, keen yet fragile senses
    the elder ape seeking rest,a white leather couch
    standing parallel to the television set
    ate eighties model, the dust gathers like a fine snow
    it has not snowed for the past twelve years to her
    feels like fifty years hazel eyes gazed awkwardly at a clock
    ancient beast of lumbering technology with black plastic hands
    cheap plastic flesh cheaply manufactured
    crafted in the polluted domain of a foreign nation
    Taiwan she believed as if she knew it was Taiwan all along
    with their dancing robots well fed factory workers
    the rich nation anti-communist, she was always anti-red,
    an elder infant making all-consuming judgments
    glued to the couch a concrete vessel perfect in every way.



    word

  2. #2
    Banned Diversity.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Ore.
    Age
    37
    Posts
    43

    Re: The Snow Falls, But the Lady Protests

    where the fuck are all the replies... i read str8 shit earlier from several people and they got like 20 replies lmao.... neway excellent imagery i felt every line, compelling, i read on to catch another glimpse of this woman on her couch... i like how you came with so much complexity, i think most peeps havnt dropped a reply cause they dont know whats going on... maybe if you put a couple more slang words youd get a reply lol. neway keep droppin, shits interesting, look for my drop i need the responses im fresh but old to the game...

    peace.

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Age
    32
    Posts
    380
    Battle Record
    2-4

    Re: The Snow Falls, But the Lady Protests

    word thanks ima hit it up, hit me up with the pm alright fam.

  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Guam
    Age
    35
    Posts
    22,986
    Battle Record
    62-46
    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins

    Re: The Snow Falls, But the Lady Protests

    this wasa nice piece. nice concept and nice thorough breadown in your emotional effort man real nice piece i liked how you tried out multies with this it was koo and the vocab was nice wasnt tpp complex but ey who said complexity is really importat ya know but yea also your content is good but just one thing man fix your wording man.. your wording as kinda everywhere ya know but you didi a nice job you can improve more just work on it more ya know so nice drop man nice do up

    keep writing.
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Age
    32
    Posts
    380
    Battle Record
    2-4

    Re: The Snow Falls, But the Lady Protests

    I'll rtf in the afternoon, thanks for the feed people.

  6. #6
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    5by7cell, upstate
    Age
    42
    Posts
    39

    Re: The Snow Falls, But the Lady Protests

    liked this piece man it has bit of a puzzle to it ,..love to creat the same kinda concept when i write my shit like your work man, get at me if ya wanna do a collab or something.peace
    hope U got Skillz.

Similar Threads

  1. NYC Wall Street Protests
    By Cadence in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: September 26th, 2011, 12:49 AM
  2. Jokes on you Lady! (Lady Joker diss)
    By Switch. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: January 5th, 2010, 06:32 PM
  3. Old Lady Punches Old Lady
    By M16TROOPER in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: April 25th, 2006, 05:00 PM
  4. Lady Lyric vs. Lady Dip Harlem REMATCH
    By *LYRIQ* in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: July 28th, 2005, 04:05 PM
  5. When It All Falls Down
    By L.I. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: June 4th, 2005, 02:10 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •