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Thread: Armageddon

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Armageddon

    The name explains the frame of mind my brains in,
    Rainin lyrically…………. mind frames amazing’
    From what is seen daily to a printed translation,
    Of the poor, hungy, homeless in the United States when,
    Bush is too busy with Iraq’s occupation.
    To realize the troubles that we have in this nation….
    Snow storms, school shootings, not to mention the day when,
    Katrina came in and destroyed my safe haven,
    Hurricane’s and crime, poverty and shell casings,
    Twelve guages leave you underground like basements,
    When the news is on……….I just stare in amazement,
    At the way our leaders turn their heads, blairingly blatant,
    That’s why I’m wearing this k-clip, swearing allegiance,
    To me, myself, and I forever till I’m deceased this,
    Battleground Earth is turning deadly quick as lightning,
    But I know one thing, I’m leaving it fighting.

  2. #2
    . . . Tragedian.'s Avatar
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    Hmm i could see what you we're trying to do...and it was pretty good for a new kid...you're strutre didnt really turn me off the drop...flow was pretty good...lacked some good shots at multies...vocab was a bit simple couldve worked on that...pretty played topic seemed like a freestyle...you have talent you could be a great writers enjoy you're stay on RB keep up.
    Last edited by Tragedian.; October 23rd, 2006 at 04:10 AM
    Empire

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    This was definitely freestyle. 15 minutes.

  5. #5
    ~Miss Jacque~ DaMicSnatcher's Avatar
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    I felt the piece could have been longer because it had lotz of information that you could've elaborated on. But when it comes to the content, I agree with what you're saying. Looks like you really know the facts, not just randomly puttin shyt on their. So I commend you for that. Iraq and bush and all this shyt in the country is gettin outta hand, so itz up to people like us to make apparent, what the president can't see...GOOD JOB KEEP IT UP
    HOW YOU GONNA LET A GURL BEAT YOU?

  6. #6
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    This was a good drop! Structure would've definetly made it better with a few more lines. The emotion was felt. and that first line multi is what made me read through it. Overall good shit for a Newb. I can notice potential. overall good read keep it ^

  7. #7

    Re: Armageddon

    There is not much information here for users to get to know what it is all about. In case you yourself have any idea then i would like you to try this out for the sake of your aid. I know that papernow.org reviews can be of a huge importance for me.

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