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Thread: She

  1. #1
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    She




    She
    is a pyre burning humanity
    Frequently i stare into her flames
    they spit human ashes that burn my feet
    like hot coals of her indifference

    She
    intrigues me
    I dig into her soiled thoughts
    hoping to excavate relics of her person
    perhaps once frozen in time

    She
    appears as a banshee
    howling mist amidst seas
    tossing wayward ships for sport

    She
    weaves tangled webs
    of manipulation from graceful hands
    spinning the finest threads on looms of fate
    and lost cause

    She
    blinks chaos
    and yawns catastrophe
    her sleep is the eternal rest of all

    She
    withers days
    into black obscurity
    her dark hands cup the seeds of sin
    the moon sows through fields of her lust

    She
    beckons from within your dreams
    rest your head on her bosom
    and soak in the warm lullabies of iniquity

    She
    tattoes her hands with
    the fates of all man
    heaven and hell rest in her fingerprints

    She
    leaps on clouds
    mocking the angels and
    wades in the river Styx to torment
    the wretched

    She
    is the mother of twins
    War and Poetry
    they dance hand in hand
    in her womb

    She
    smiles the stars in the sky
    her frown is an eclipse
    the sun, her vanity

    She
    bats her eyes at Time
    and Time is snared in her gaze
    when she releases him
    he must make haste to catch up

    She
    could topple nations with her kiss
    once made love to death
    and gave birth to life
    revolving in her ancient breath

    She
    is midnight's wolf hunting prey
    she has been called joy
    she dances with her sisters
    their feet make the ground fertile and holy

    She
    has no face
    she is shackled to beauty and wisdom
    she weeps oceans
    the planets float orbiting their stream

    She
    visits me at times
    arousing me from sleep
    to hold her in my arms
    once i kissed the lips of infinity
    but i didn't know
    she was stealing my soul
    Last edited by LedgenZ; September 22nd, 2007 at 03:33 PM

  2. #2
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    This was very nice Legendz, I think the emotion stood out to me the most.
    Good use of repetition throughout. My favorite stanza is

    "She
    blinks chaos
    and yawns catastrophe
    her sleep is the eternal rest of all"

    The whole piece was ladled with good metaphors and imagery...excellent job
    of describing things...keep dropping

    If you could
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  3. #3
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    ^thanx for the peep man its apperciated

  4. #4
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    I thought this piece was good because it was ripe with imagery however it felt somewhat dragged out, while it was very well written it felt as if it was leading somewhere, and in the end it didn't really go anywhere at all. A small gripe from a young fool...as aforementioned you did a great job writing this, emotion was good, poetic voice was good and i guess the accompanying picture was a nice touch, but like i said the key was the imagery, nicely done man, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  5. #5
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    Re: She

    Man I forgot I even posted this...

  6. #6
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    Re: She

    ^lol.

    sick poem bro. loved the word choice. though it may have been dragged out a bit, it didn't take away from how beautiful the diction was. everything was well placed and really brought to life this girl. I think i know a handful of girls like that which you describe. I hate them all. lol. joking, but seriously, they need to find Jesus. hopefully this wasn't a real piece for you, or if it was, i hope you ditched this chick bro. lol. us poets deserve the best of women right. yea, word. aite man, stay up homie.

    peACE

    ps. if you see my piece, feel free to hit it up plz.

  7. #7
    Soule
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    Re: She

    Interesting poem. Different from those that you have been doing as of late. The wording was nice. The Imagery was straight forward. The emotion was clearly great. It was different, it was cool.

  8. #8
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    Re: She

    Because life is too short not to up one last time.

  9. #9
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Re: She

    closed, if you up now follow the current rules. 2 links
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