...prophecy...

[the HOLY demon]

sum ish i aws gon do with sum boys of mine wanted to check if its aight................................

In the exodus it states / thou shall not kill /
but murder those wit no skill /
the lyks of muthafuckas lyk prince and Churchill /
who unlyk most rappers they do not fulfill /

the theory and prophecy / that one day all bots emcees /
will be under ill categry / and thus at that not be /
a rap minority /
so cats I’m rockin thee / no crap is stopping me /
reach my philosophy / and preach ur agony /

antagonizing gross minds // wit paralyzing dope lines //
while silabisin our lines // to kill their risin and shine //
and still be finding the time // to fill up our lives wit crime //
and might // check the // mic //
bless it // reck it // then crush it till its fine //
the holy demon // pray to god and let the dark side shine //

[NuM-WuN]

you need to leave 2 links to 2 oM's you left feed on...

but anyways....i didn't really like this piece too much..you DID stick to your subject but the structure threw me off with all of the /'s so it was hard to tell what was considered a bar and all..that also threw the flow off..your third "verse" was my most liked out of the three...it had some nice vocab and some metas...you could definitely work on your metas though, try to make them more consistent throughout your piece..same with vocab..that will help you get better in writing future OM's..its a pretty decent start..jus fix your structure for sure, and keep elevating on all of the things i discussed in this..and keep writing (only way to get better)..oNE

now leave feed on my OM: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234684

[*BaByShAnTe*]

i was interested by the title then when i read it, it wasnt exactly what i expected.
you should have did something more ill with this type of shit, homnestly it was too regualar, basic.
the structure and flow couldve been better though, but it wasnt bad, you just need elavate in some areas just to make it more eye opening feel me on that.....

hit my drop, honest feed return the favor
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235304

[Mistral]

16 line minimum.