Be Happy

[_SayKriDD_]

Take Over - Thank You
''UNiQuE - Failure

---------------------------------
Verse One
When im not close, im sure it not Healthy,
Your Beauty, on me makes me feel Wealthy,
Maybe, Give it one more Chance,
Member in the clubs we'd get close and Dance,
Allways holding hands, Your were allways my Best,
Why cant you pick up ya' phone and reply to my Text,
I allways have feelings, no matter what girl comes Next,
Makes me Vexed,
You wont accept my Heart,
I cant stand it when we far Apart,
Let Start again, And maybe be Mine
You wont try us one more time,
You gotta be special, You inspired me to write this Rhyme,
As i move on, My heart still feels left Behind

Chorus
Let me be the one who makes you Happy,
Laugh An Smile,
Id walk 1000Mile Cuz i feel me Ment-To-Be,
Rest of your life, Hopefully be shared With-Me,
Be Happy.. Baby

Verse Two
Baby you Next To Me
Turns me On you Dress Sexy
Tou cant Test A G Im the Best Ya See
Huddle Up Together Cum Rest Wid Me,
And just Sex Me Please
You were my Light,
Everyone knows i aint no boxer, But you was worth a Fight,
Your the one who kept me awake, crying in the Night
At least say you Might..
..Try an make it Work,
Even with an invinsible heart, Love for you still makes me Hurt..

Chorus

Verse Three
Make me wanna Breathe,
I Plee,
Dont go back to that Prick Please,
He treated you like Shit,
Makes me Sick,
He Used you for pleasure on his Dick,
Ill Pop'a Clip, In his Face,
I wernt an Athlete but you were deffinity worth that Race,
And tha Chase
How can Someone use a person like you for Sex,
Its over with him, Let him stay your Ex,
Lets just be together, Never be Apart,
Fuck it.. i move on.. But your allways deeply in my Heart

Chorus
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-This has been recorded on audio, But i just need my SoundClick to activate or someshit before i show it around, So, ill post the audio up.

[By the way, the track is what happened with me and this girl]


Upping some feed.

[_SayKriDD_]

5 Views.. 0 Replys.
Upping.

[CrazyCarl]

The parts I liked best were when you had internal rhyming. As text, the lines could be longer, but since its an audio it's more important what sounds better. It's hard not to get into cliche feelings with a love topic. I thought there would be some more wordplay. The boxer line was alright, but then you used the same concept with athlete later on. The quality of the chorus would depend on how it sounds to the beat.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234963

[warchild]

This would make a good poem it would not make a good rap it was too corny to be taken seriously as a rap. Obviously if your gonna write a soppy piece like this you gotta put something dark in there to make it stand out i cant stand reading relationship/love type pieces there just not my style and not many writers would write about shit like this. I can apprciate that you were willing to post this up but it was just too corny for my taste but im a cold hearted bastard so maybe thats why. Next time you write come up with a better topic work on your vocab so you can write some better imagery mix in some metaphors and work on the flow cause the flow was too basic.

Return the feed:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234259

[mcl]

cant wait to hear it on audio it has loads of good rhymes and the flow was good

[_SayKriDD_]

Thanks Crazy Carl
Thanks warchild, i agree with you, i wuz down and not feeling my self when i wrote, just girl problems.
mcl it in audio section now..

thanks.. Ill return later on

[_SayKriDD_]

uppppp