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Thread: The Death Sentence... - Topical Battle Verse

  1. #1
    Po'Ethics
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    London
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    The Death Sentence... - Topical Battle Verse

    The Death Sentence
    .
    .
    .

    Perpetual somatic sensations extend curiously in erratic vibrations,
    Animations of written creations etched into the plethora of emancipation.
    Cells sliding gracefully through the pulsating rivers of life,
    Oblivious cyclic nature of impenetrable monotony amidst the strife.
    Ever-growing problems are mere thoughts trapped away in their nucleus,
    Red lifeforce constraints taint the tastes for the expanses of azureous.
    Swooping through the looming tubes of maintenance and existence,
    Looping drooping arteries and embracing air in the oral orifice.
    The sigh of writers block plagues the mans thick atmosphere,
    Oozing blood dilluted sweat as his structure crouchs over his fear.
    .
    .
    .

    Blank pages staring up at him, corrupting his dark pupils,
    Grasping at the symbol of justice, power and steeples...
    A feeble existence is one without the written word he once said,
    Concepts adrift in his already thick hair, ready to seep into his head.
    An unseen powerful barrier that is emotion, one cannot control it,
    Unbareable pain inherent in this process of creation's illegitimate.
    The mistake that is subjectivity apparent in each one of our offspring,
    One may choose to sing... To write a poem... To offer one another a ring.
    .
    .
    .

    Thus as the dying figure lies sprawled across the thick leather,
    Legs spread across the vibrant flooring, hand clutching a feather.
    Laughs echo into the cavernous expanse hovering in his presence,
    His last exasperrated moments of life aren't there without presents.
    The feather lifted and moved swiftly leaving a beautiful scratching sound,
    The rounded figures implanted onto the thick curled papyrus dyed brown.
    As he coughed his last a smile swept across his aging facial features,
    A sense of satisfaction graced the room as his soul found restful meter.
    .
    .
    .
    "Life is but a river, and we are the insignificant leaves finding our way, hence,
    One might seem lost to the unaware, as they twirl, this is but an illusionary stance.
    Amidst this seemingly powerful pleasure, one lives a life of unending dissapointed existence,
    For as life twists and turns it merely forms the poetry in the final death sentence."


    Po'Ethics Lives

  2. #2
    bitch.
    Join Date
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    Nice piece. The emotion was expressed really well, and the vocabulary was amazing. It never took away from the story either, just improved the imagery and helped express the metaphors. I found myself lost towards the end of the first verse and the beginning of my second. Didnt know what was going on, so it lacked there, but that was about it. Excellent drop.

    9/10

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    nice piece yo, vocab is off the hook... you brought much deepness to the subject, nice internal rhymes and flow was mostly consistant, tho a couple lines seemed a bit of a mouthful...

    what is it with feathers and death, i seen it in poems before,
    "no heavier than a feather"

    pz
    Last edited by The Vortex; July 5th, 2005 at 09:37 AM
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