Aiiiight all you bitch ass complainers and true Vets, here's the scoop. I'm not doin any of that pretty little 'link' shit... you want to read sum' in the mag u can scroll. This ain't no dead clown fag-mag, this the real thing.
Let's get right down to it. Last week was fucking outta control. Feebs didn’t even put the week number next to the battles, making it even more fun to write the mag… but then again, it’s all I could hope for to actually get my match set up without beefin with Nah…
5 no shows (and I say five because I guess escar signed out). FIVE! wtf?! tsk tsk, I'm ashamed.... now, I don't expect people to resurrect themselves and show up for battles, however, I do expect all the shit-talkin, always got sum' to say type mufuckas to come in here and show the rest of us how it's done.... Of course, W.rite has nothing to prove, but I think I can speak for the league when I say his no-show left me disappointed - I wanted some good material to read got-damn it.
So we'll start with the no shows, in what I like to call the ultimate no-show deterrent.
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THE PARAGRAPH OF PUSSIES
We’ll begin with the obvious. Of course you’re not going to show… when you pull little baby stunts to try and get back at Mods you can’t punk, and then try to come back like nothing happened. But hey – some people just have a weird way of coming out of the closet…. Why M~M didn’t show? Why would he? He knows even when his opponent pulls a fuckin boner like he did, he can’t possibly come up with anything witty enough to hit…. Besides, we all know the clown woulda jus bit some dope opener, closer or both off of another site and merked him silly.
Poor, poor TK... that verse alone is enough for condolences, but then a no-show on top of it? Damn… Obviously TK jus did the bare minimum *shrugs* another let down due to the fact some no-name false representation of an occurance failed to come to fruition. Not much to say, since there wasn’t much to start with.
Ok… I don’t know what’s gayer: Vylint always bad-mouthing other people’s verses, or Vylint referring to the reason for his lack of punctuality as “busted comp”. Busted? So what, you just took a hammer to the shit, then fixed it up? If you’re gonna give lame excuses, then this is what happens to you in $pit’s mag. Pussy. Em..… ulate too, ya nah mean? Where the fuck were you, with all ya crazy ill ass dope mufuckin sheet huh? Psha… jus another big mouth. Takes a lot of courage to text ya threats, nah mean? You bad… you bad Who the fuck are you anyway? BLAH…..
Mr Mac…. Gets better every week it seems lately. This week was a lil eh, but still this kid’s on the up n up. He’ll be a serious contender next season if he really stays on it. Creative as fuck, I see him as a young Born…. & Un? …well, Un’s jus Un. Unimpressive, Unsatisfactory, Unattractive… the list goes un and un. Maybe if he actually GAVE A SHIT he’d be somebody….. nah, who am I kidding.
Daz… Enough…. No, seriously enough. Daz is decent nowadays, at least he seems headed in that direction. We’ll see what happens this week.. how much name play can he get outta spit? We shall undoubtedly see, as that seems to be his calling. At least it was with W.rite, who didn’t show because he knew he has to save up his good punches less he wants to get beat next week by someone skilled. Plus he seen Daz’s verse and bugged out for three days straight tryin to come up with a name play on Enough. *smh* W.rite, you hurt all of our feelings when you let us down… s’like waking up Christmas morning and there’s no presents…. *tears*
And last and certainly least, A. Ave. Minds. WTF kind of gay name is that anyway? Don’t know you, won’t know you and goodbye. You make me sick when I miss a Meters verse because you fail to show up for the slaughter. I hate aliases and invaders from wack sites, so whoever you are go die.
This concludes THE PARAGRAPH OF PUSSIES. This is what you deserve when YOU BITCH OUT. Psha
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Ok, next thing on the agenda is $pit’s top ten punches… I figure if Nique’s doin ‘em, let yall see two versions… I’m sure hers will be better anyway… & who wants to scroll all the way through when most of us only want to see the top ten? BTW – I include punches from no-show matches IF the person who showed drops dope enough. Why the fuck wouldn’t we? Shiiiit so here it is.
10. gave up modding, u must've took that blunt like spears to the heart...
but whats this anymore talk?, u wasnt wanted here from the start!
-Booty Fan vs sdizzle vs Tek
9. We all know feebs, trying to make a name off wordplay
I know its gay and to some obsurd,
when he'll never get real play... and thats word
-RdotC vs Feeble Minded
8.Your the weakest soul in this league, you ain't touchin' me, shit
Cross a Dog with this pussy, and you will get one hell of a bitch
-God vs Jacent
7. dun put in work... see what happens when I threaten e
spit’s blood on his hands now… tryin ta catch his teeth
-$pitacular vs Euro
6. fuck if he rep da hood, Ima chop his head off & let the Lord have em
cuz if i ever ran into ur neck of the woods, i'd come out with a log cabin
-assault rhymes vs Effect
5. And he’s ugly…it’s like god held good looks for ransom…
So Urb cut off some fingers in an attempt to be handsome.
-Born To Kill vs New York Minute
4. It's over son, so let's keep it clean..wait it's too late, see-I'm sorry to say
This battle's pointless for the league...Booga gets blown out everyday
-Lethargic vs Booga
3. ^& after that he'll prolly still win, I just see em how I call em fellas
Not cuz he's dope..
He just got a votin ring that could make golem jealous
-Booga vs Lethargic
2. Heard he talks shit so he should watch his damn mouth..
and write was just getting dope...then my ink ran out..
daz vs Mr W.rite
1. I fucked your girl too X, she always creep on this faggot
So when I say his girl's a Jorge, I ain't speaking in spanish
-Replica vs x-signals
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BOTTOM THREE
Ok, I don’t do the battle reviews so that vets egos grow or we can all gloat… I only do them to help the under-talented improve. S’why Jr’s such a good league, you learn. So I’ma try and do what I can here to make these newbs get better quicker, albeit a bit mean….
1. x-signals vs Replica
x…. leave the Latifa & Ricky problem to channel 13 or whatever, don’t drag their big asses into a battle. Seriously, did you think those was a dope punches? Weird little plays like that are for Jr, and for FL… not the big leagues. Next time, think “would I nominate this punch for the top 10 or the highlight reel?” If the answer is no, try and rewrite it. You used nothing but names – Ricky Lake, Queen Latifa, Replica, j.c. & Smoka… the honest Muslim line was ok, but it needed some reworking. Work on harder punches, more of a “ouch” than a “ha ha” or “make me smirk at ya cheesy shit” type of punch…. You have some wittiness, just apply yourself. Try name play + personal + wordplay + cliché + hardcore punches all in the same verse, see what happens… peep the shit the other vets are doin to win. Learn and you’ll be doper
2. booty fan vs sdizzle vs Tek
Ok, all three of you need some work… not all that shabby (cept maybe Booty, but hey it’s all in the name) but you guys are still thinking basic… you need to step up the wit and come with something unexpected. Nameplays, personals on weight (played to the fullest on dizz), dizzle was really the only one that came semi-fresh. Now you know somethin’s wrong with that picture… New concepts guys… just one shocker punch can turn the tide for each of you… stop thinking in “ya momma’s so…” terms and come correct. This is LLL, not middle school.
3. Jacent vs God
Ok “Cross” ….. wording, wordin, wording… you know what concepts are all about, but you come at ‘em clumsily… THEN you go and use the most played God punches I’ve seen since Jr. waay back… *smh* THEN you close it with this
Why didn’t you just leave those lines off altogether? Jesus…. All in all, a disappointing burn by God taking your dignity with less lines than you. C’mon Jacent, ‘sup with that shit?Originally Posted by Cross Dog
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And there it is… if someone else wants to add to the mag post it up in this thread, let’s see what yall thought about last week, get some different opinions in here…
If I woulda had more notice I woulda done better. I was given like a day's notice and I worked all day so FUCK YOU if u don't like it. That is all.
pz
oh well..
