Dear Pac

Pac why nobody writing to you?
Next to me yelling or chasing me out of the room
He got busted that night and I learned to stay away
So who is that voice interrupting me when I pray
E 125th telling me Im a be alright
So why tonight am I still losing the fight
Im not even sure if I can trust you anymore
I heard the rumors, they saying I'm some coke whore
How he don't even care, it really wasn't a bluff - was it?
I guess being unprepared mostly does it
I burned out 3 stars wishing so hard and it feel like god don't even care
When I went on to check and he wasn't even there
I couldn't do anything but stare
You told me he didn't care
I didn't wanna wake up even though it was curry
I heard, heard I died, said ok and rushed in a hurry
I didn't survive them shots
Cause after shit just got worse
And I'm so sick of living the side of the cursed
How they can make me feel so sick this easy
Tapping and tracing and posing I rather be back where the Ds be
I ain't scared of jail no more...
The pain, the physical pain I get practically every night
Back then I'd shake it off and said I don't care I was with god when they'd make fun of my plight


Even my God left me, I can't understand anymore
Yeah Pac, I was talking mad shit to satan banging down his door
What we even here for?
The hissing and tizzing the letting go of my wheel screaming
Popping all this shit cause they heard I was a demon
Then how that be my peace and comfort be gone
I been said I'm not going to make it but I ain't even do no wrong
I don't deserve that trick to lay in peace with one that hates me
Or forced to live this sick shit while strangers debate how I see
They have me in so deep I have no clue who to trust
They trade my peace and comfort for pain and add addiction their must
Talking about a good fella that catch a raw deal
What the fuck am I even still here for, really my real


I know God is listening I burned out 3 stars wishing so hard
But I never get what I ask for ever since I shot down in that yard
Not that I ever really did before, on our side we don't get what we need
Only what is going to hurt more
And I don't even know how I'm a sleep now
Like always just when things get better, we just on the reverse - how?
Right now I could give a fuck about this earth
And I'm tired of them degrading my self worth
They swear its so easy and I'm so quick to forgive
How much longer God do I have to live

I'll never get over them raping me
I can care less about them taping me
I guess it's for the weak cause I just can't get past it
Then to add the extra right after I blasted it
I ain't ever get a friend, or anyone to understand me
And I'm starting to realize its cause my birth dads family
Well he's dead, and pac you are too
I don't care if I have to do it by myself, conviction on this genocide past due

So tell them keep laughing and proving all that you can do
I don't feel so stupid, virgin is sacred in our blood - so what? Es tu and fuck you then too
Maybe the pattern was just repeating the first
I never had to care less over more but nah I ain't them tricks quenching their thirst
I'm so confused I thought at first finally it all made sense
But he never came back for me and I been fucked up ever since

I was just waking up and read back... if I can't die can I just be insane again?

- - - Updated - - -

Who the fuck woke me up like and to this?

Dear bitch, who is swelling my face, sticking pins in my eyes, on my body still trying to trick me and doing sick shit to me, etc. The snake was classic, screaming in pain while you watched. Or that butterfly on the door for 3 days. My dad knew my phone would be back in 3 days, so I assume he knows who you are too. The end.

This is like crazy, and in my world crazy is a good thing. I am so lost sometimes when I read your rhymes I truly am. But in the confusion there is some dope rhymes, you have the passion to be here everyday writing but I feel u can produce way smoother way doper rhymes. I dont even know if this is a rhyme or just how you were feeling. I liked this line "He got busted that night and I learned to stay away
So who is that voice interrupting me when I pray" this is an awesome line I know u are capable of great things show us the greatness inside and keep it more smooth and make us understand what u are writing as I want to understand it