he waited..

New tvs, new garments, bow tied
Gift wrap shredded into pieces of revelation
But we've had a tough year
A family deformed in an industrial graveyard

Where i never knew my real parents
And this new family took me in there home
10 Christmas' ago, smaller prints in the snow
Maybe i should move on, but i cant let them go..

With age, my leg just isn't the same
No ones giving gifts, but boxes are packed
I wont be seeing that specialist
a younger me's looking to see if everythings ok

No, when you pull off
Remember me, for 10 years later
My fate could very well be yours
Left on a cold curb with too many memories to face

All i could give you all is love
Maybe my heart wasnt big enough?
I became an anchor, you had to drop to move on
You'll never return, but ill always remember you..

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Quote:

---

Originally Posted by _Lyrics

New tvs, new garments, bow tied
Gift wrap shredded into pieces of revelation
But we've had a tough year
A family deformed in an industrial graveyard

Where i never knew my real parents
And this new family took me in there home
10 Christmas' ago, smaller prints in the snow
Maybe i should move on, but i cant let them go..

With age, my leg just isn't the same
No ones giving gifts, but boxes are packed
I wont be seeing that specialist
a younger me's looking to see if everythings ok

No, when you pull off
Remember me, for 10 years later
My fate could very well be yours
Left on a cold curb with too many memories to face

All i could give you all is love
Maybe my heart wasnt big enough?
I became an anchor, you had to drop to move on
You'll never return, but ill always remember you..

---

Yo man this is a nice read rite here, Pretty heart felt my dude "Enjoyed" Thanks for the share homie and I look forward into reading more from ya!!

New tvs, new garments, bow tied
Gift wrap shredded into pieces of revelation Nice line here Lyrics.
But we've had a tough year
A family deformed in an industrial graveyard Niiice.

Where i never knew my real parents I kind of find it odd that you start a new sentence where there's a continuation of the prior one.
And this new family took me in there home typo, 'their' ....no biggie.
10 Christmas' ago, smaller prints in the snow Nice imagery with the smaller prints in the snow. That's good.
Maybe i should move on, but i cant let them go.. This second stanza seems more realistic than the prior one.
Regardless, I like the reality its describing.

With age, my leg just isn't the same your leg? or legs? yeah, not sure why the leg was brought up here.
No ones giving gifts, but boxes are packed cool line.
I wont be seeing that specialist
a younger me's looking to see if everythings ok ok, doc issues. i think. ok

No, when you pull off huh?
Remember me, for 10 years later smart line here. I like it.
My fate could very well be yours Niiiiiiiice Lyrics.
Left on a cold curb with too many memories to face I like the sound of these words....'left on a cold curb'.....that's great.

All i could give you all is love
Maybe my heart wasnt big enough? Beautiful lines here. Both of them.
I became an anchor, you had to drop to move on Probably could have done without the comma here.
You'll never return, but ill always remember you..Lovely ending to your outro Lyrics.

I like it Lyrics. Reflective. Deep. Brings a sense of nostalgia. A sense of remoteness. A sense of love, respect. longing.
There's so much in these words that can connect to the regular person.
I like that you dig deep Lyrics and pour your heart out and let us see the remnants of what's left.
You've always been a talented writer and it's cool for me to see you in pc writing poetry because it's normally your om drops
I rave about, mainly due to your stunning rhymes meshing with great flow.
So yeah, it's nice to see you in here.
A few little tiny issues I wasn't sure about, but the rest was smooth sailing.
You had some standout lines that made me float on imagery, and then some more realistic ones that brought me back down to
earth.
Nice job Lyrics.
Great to have you in pc.
Sorry about the late feed.

Looking forward to hearing more poetry from you.

Thank you

this was dope

Whoever you were when I would have known you (PoetaDemonio/ElPoeta) you've elevated greatly!

This was a refreshing, smooth read.
You beautifully juxtapose notions of complex meta-narratives such as the dysfunctional family (representing the everyday) with the far more potent geo-political concerns of the wider society. Your poem floats off the tongue almost, which makes the readers experience uncomplicated, helping to gain full attention to the intellectual deconstruction of the work. One thing I would say could be improved, is being careful of using cliche's without a DIRECT (mostly ironic) purpose for their use. So for instance, the Anchor metaphor is wonderful, but it's been re packaged too many times.

In the future, I will give far more in depth feed back, but I gotta leave in like 10mins!

Thank you for sharing your work.