Legendary is nothing.

When murky green rivers on my arms overlap each other like the mississippi,
When my skin wrinkles like ocean waves in stalwart winds,
When my day cosists of as much activity as a puddle in a suburb,
When so many years become the defining ingredient in my cologne,
When catching a little snapper in my arms becomes my most glorious moment,
When waking up hits me like a blast of freezing water,
When I'm surrounded with more flourishing life than the mediterranean sea,
When my tears are more potent with salt than all the oceans combined,
When my fish is slowly drifting to the red sea's floor,
When I realize that legendary is nothing,
I'll be able to look back at my accomplishments as mere memories
and look at my memories as accomplishments.

A very interesting piece. The imagery and metaphor utilised here add very much to it quality. Also, the vocabulary was good. These factors combined created powerful images in my mind of what was being described. All I can suggest to improve this is the length maybe? But that isn't a very big factor. It was a very interesting look at life and the future... It was a pleasure to read.

Peace

This was one of the most quality pieces i've seen in a minute, it is not bogged down by being "over written" it feels like it flows very easily and the imagery is very matured. The pace and voice of this poem are both smooth and overall it is just a very good read, nice job Martyr, stay up, 1luv.

This was a pretty cool drop sharpy. I really liked the tone and structure to it. You had some good imagery in this, and it was simple yet touching. Very nice drop.

peace,
Mez

Thanks to all of you.

Means alot to me that you guys enjoyed it.

Forcefully put through. With an ambitious sense of imagery. Yer choice of words didn't seem alien to you. Digging yer concept...nice niche, refreshing. And i actually enjoyed reading it.

Sorry if this reply reads a bit mechanical. I'm multi-tasking like the woman that i can be..

That was pretty dope man it really fely something to me man good job.

Means alot coming from you man.

Glad you enjoyed it.

You usually hate my poems or don't leave any feedback. Thanks though, I wish you could tell me how to elevate though...would help a bit.

" When murky green rivers on my arms overlap each other like the mississippi"

Probably elaborated a bit much. It's wanting to be sweeping...and to an extent it is. But the use of 'like the', 'on my arms' and 'each other' all in one line can make it go on a bit. Though to be fair, there's those who pull it off kind of well. But being picky, if i'm going with the whole piece, then it dunt quite catch full flow. So to sift through all the former..it's good to experiment. And maybe you can experiment a bit more with minimalism.

Er..that's all for now. I dont usually criticise pieces i dont feel like criticising.

Not much I can say about this. Decent shit. The last two lines were the illest. Esspecially the last one. Keep writing, homie.