soul_purpose day of reckoning

Im a demon, screaming from the other side, from eden region to turn the tide
Im a seething heathen on a mythical ride, Im the reason, legion finally arrived
full of scheming treason on wings I glide, spent an eon sleeping and multiplied
we formed a gleaming beacon well fortified, my foes beaten ,weaken crumble inside
we left the deacon preaching mortified, witness freemen pleading for there lives
there was bleeding streaming from there eyes, my completion, deletion of there kind
white wings eaten sweeten the prize, the graves deepen secretion IM STILL ALIVE.....

lol the OM section is over there ->

Jesus christ you used the wrong 'their' 3 times???

Always classy Soul. Telepathy, bro that's not really poetry. As some one told me long ago on a different forum for writing, that's you rhyming as much as you can. If you read the feed Soul gave me on my piece Atlas you'll see him address rhymes in poetry. I agree they are best used only when necessary not whenever you want it to sound funky. We want, correctly used devices and content and creativity. What you just posted has been done time and time again in the cypher and in OM.

I suggest you read some of the more renown poets. I love Shakespeares sonnets, Emily Dickerson who's style I envy, Langston Hughes, Oscar Wilde, Edgar Allan Poe, TX elliot, etc.

I would read more types of poetry and different poetic styles and write more. Make poems about anything, my first poem on here was about how I couldn't sleep and even now after my 3 hof poems which I am very proud of I still have a ways to go, so don't get discouraged. I assure you no aspect of writing is mastered overnight.

This is a poetic storytelling of my take on apocalypse. Im fine with you not agreeing with my rhyming. I believe it takes a lot more skill to rhyme in a story that makes complete sense then to not rhyme in the same said story. Poetry is all about emotion, expressing your feelings. And yes I am fairly well schooled in the poetic arts, my platform just differs from yours. Ive written many poems and read more, what makes a poem a great poem is the feelings you get and the thoughts you receive from it. Obviously you couldn't picture it but its still visioned in my mind. Thanks for the feedback anyway. Im not sure youre qualified to judge whether a poem is a poem.

Than who is? It's all fine and dandy that a poetic take but if the reader feels nothing then what? I don't mean to rattle your cage, just throwing out suggestions. I too have been reading poetry since grade school and still enjoy and learn from it to this day. There's always more to be learned.

I think what I'm getting at is you can post little pieces like this all the time but unlike some on the site may think rhyming doesn't necessarily attribute anything to a piece it's all about the content with it, why are you rhyming?

Doee it sound better to say bleeding streaming or convey the image in a different, more grammatically correct, manner?

I'll leave you with that, my intention is not to offend

Im not offended just perplexed. I don't understand why the grammar of it makes a difference. Its immense imagery. bleeding streaming) blood gushing would work but it takes more thought and skill to make it impact with a rhyme. I could write imagery all day without rhyming but it doesn't have the same impact for me. For me its lazy and often boring. I agree this piece at times bores me as well but when I take it piece by piece, bar by bar and just read the imagery for what it is I see the story being told, imagination takes hold. One poem which I do not agree with its stature is a dream within a dream by edgar allen poe, always on every critics top 100 list. He rhymes and uses imagery but I don't believe it is a great piece. Apparently others disagree with me. A rhyme is but a rhyme, I appreciate your feedback but my style is my style. I can write in many but this is my own.

TX Eliot, who is, obviously, the cyborg-from-the-future version of TS Eliot :)

Lmfao exactly!