"Blood Sucker" by Salted Slug Poetry

Blood Sucker
Written by Johnny Soul and Emilyinthepool



"She stood there in the doorway, motionless in white,
pitch black hair covering her eyes, her zombie pale flesh.
She whispers that she loves me with a haunting gripe,
I'd ask if she's alright... but I'm too scared to guess.
She reminds me of a ghost from the horror films we watch.”

I pick up the ante a notch with a Scotch
Bleeding him dry from his head to his crotch
With my chin down and eyes up, gazing at him
If it wasn’t for his cross, would I be carrying his sin?

She won't leave, a stain in my life,
I loved her yesterday but want to kill her tonight.
Her teeth in my neck, nails in my spine,
this pain isn't physical, she's tearing apart my mind.

The smirk on my lip escapes to a grin
Internally charging a hatred to spin
“Take a good look. Like what you see?
I’m about to vamp it up a little, Johnny."

Her eyes consumed black like an oil spill,
if I put my hands down, I'm vulnerable to the kill.
She's managed to eliminate my free will...
ominously burying my decision making skills.

You may think I’m evil, yet I am a victim
Who’s changing your twisted... demented system
I know you’re pure. But I got it together
While you fall in heap over some peer group pressure

She's not making sense, I'm bludgeoned by confusion,
instead of making love, her intentions become abusive.
She's been playing my heart strings as if it's acoustic,
I wanted forever... she only wanted somebody to ruin.

Ruby lips, divine. Kissing me, tasting the finest wine
While I suck your soul and rape your mind…you’re bland
Blending with all other pieces of sand
I show no remorse. Damage lives in my wake
But I was wanted from birth, you were just a mistake.

She becomes frantic, it's hard for me to keep up,
every kiss becomes a scream, every stroke becomes a punch.
I don't know to be afraid or to keep falling in love,
she's obviously psychotic but I'm drawn in by her lust.
Is she human or a creature of darkness? Either way, she's a heartless one.

Johnny, I was being fake. You believed that I loved you
Touched my body, you'd shake. Make your heart ache
And your earth quakes. You’re a flake
And don’t respect the traits of a snake.

She's whispering, almost in Latin but I can't tell,
I'm listening but all I hear is the language of Hell.
If she's insulting me or being seductive, it only repelled,
yet she has me paralyzed like with some witches spell.

I have a lifelong history of lying, distorting facts
I end and start relationships at the drop of a hat
I idolize you, and then change my direction
Loving the shattered cold hard rejection.

And it begins to click, this is the beginning of the end,
she's leaving me to rot while she finds a new boyfriend.
My heart starts the decaying process, my mind bends,
I feel like I've imploded but I'm still listening to the bitch.

And you know that I don’t like the light
I’m vulnerable to such a horrific sight
I watch you decay, a burnt, wilted ballet on display
You disgust me and I will not be killed by your day
My marble white skin gets whiter with age.

She's talking about herself, it's what she does when she's livid,
her notions become sporadic and her moods seem unforgiven.
My knees buckle as she grips her cold hands around my wrist,
and the rage in her pupils starts to become more and more vivid.

Elegant and suave, pure and bloodless
I’m loveless, and you…are gutless
I’m beautiful to the point of hypnotic
With a predatory look, exotic, erotic
So even fucking you is boring, robotic.

Questioning my sexuality, insecurities reach a new high,
-- I've never needed this many answers in my entire life.
She's breaking down my spiritual anatomy, my heart and my mind,
one thing leads to another and I'm on the verge of a fight.

A vixen, I make men and women my victim
Performing oral sex until they die
Draining them of fluid makes me high
Adorning, until the wee hours of morning

I'm ready for her to shut up and leave,
if this is over, then it's over, no reason to weep.
Her words are falling upon deaf ears, I'm ignoring the beast,
I spent far too long attending to her every goddam need.

Leaving them grey, in their own bed
The invalids, moaning words unsaid
Zoom in on this… I’m a Phenomena
Now Johnny…Zoom out
You’re just a commoner.

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/23...30bc8beb53.jpg

She leaves the room, her white dress now red,
I fall to my hands and knees as my arteries spread.
I though she was a vampire, but now that I'm dead,
I see she's only a woman who's emotions are a mess.

ATTENTION Johnny Soul,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...dor-Dalai-Lama
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...81494-Untitled

This was a good write. I liked the idea of having a male and female writer going back and forth, nice stuff. I liked how Emily character build up was of the boy and johnny, the girl, it worked best for the piece and the description of the characters having the mix of male and female emotion. Thought out the piece there was plenty of dark, sepid moments and some rays of sunshine, but the storytelling is shining star here, you two just built the tower from great foundations in my opinion.

No surprise here johnny, good, consistent writing with a good concept. You get it done and always deliver a standard.
Emily, you are turning into quite the poetry writer. My favourite line in the whole piece is

Quote:

---

If it wasn’t for his cross, would I be carrying his sin

---

and I do believe you wrote those words, respect.

Good writing, good piece.

Thanks brother. Join IO. :p

This was fucking dope you did a stunning job. I enjoyed how both played so well off of each other. The way you guys took a story or concept that has been done before, but still made it fresh speaks volumes of how good of writers you both are. The imagery was on point and honestly I have nothing bad to say about this. It was written so well. Kudos

copy cat

Thanks broski

Two of my favorite people and writers together wtf where was my invite to take part in this @Johnny Soul or @Emilyinthepool . First Both of you blended so fucking well together I'm jealous lol. Johnny Made this with his strong emotional usage, then Emily nailed it with her strong skills for telling the fuck out of a story. Imagery wise I could basically see this playing out like movie. Then the picture at the end just gave it that "IT" factor. I can't wait to see more from you guys I would even be interested in seeing a spin off from this. I agree with the Copy dude def worth the nomination he gave you guys. Sorry I did do my normal amount of feed it's like 5am where I'm at dudes or sorry and gal.

Thanks bruh

Bump

I'm sure you're aware that this kind of response is not acceptable. If you have something to say that doesn't pertain to legitimate feedback please use PMs. Thanks.

-Mantra

@Jukon , because i dont know how to close things yet, please close this for me.
Dagel must have used his mod privileges and taken it upon himself to reopen this,
when we all know it was closed due to him biting right when this was posted.
I've posted my bit autonomously in om, and gotten feed for it, so this can go back where
it was, back down the S bend.
Thanks.
If you can take it off the front page too, I would appreciate it.
(only because by writing this it'll go back onto the front page.)
Thank you again.