The Feeling

I have 8 years clean off everything
recollection from opiates last week
dont do drugs as I speak I was sick
so bad for 3 days that I was in deep

fever freezing chills muscle aches
nobody could do anything thats what
I had to take Im over it now what a
relief still clean if I pick up again

it wont be something out of the sea
food poisoning the memories of having
to pay for things like drugs that are
not free making somebodys living off

of my disease I had to go through it I
want to say this not to fall on deaf
ears like the habit that repeats itself
your not you living in misery dont do

drugs it can be the worst thing you may
have ever done you might not make it to
be clean I had to go through addictions
its over and Im back to me if you want to

be clean heres some advice know what your
doing it might feel good but dont start
you may never quit

That is exactly why I only do weed, yay, drink, and a very rare E in my entire life. I KNOW that I'd probably like it... my mom used to yell at me when I was a kid spinning myself in circles over and over again - stop and try to walk - she probably knew then I was going to be a problem. Ironically when I first got sick with BP1 I listened to the drs and stayed sober 5 or exactly 8 years. Seeing weird shit was one thing when you're faded but when I saw them 'skies' sober - that's when it fucked me up. I'm in and out - I still like to turn up... but I know my family wish I would go 100% again too.

- - - Updated - - -

In mental... there is always at least one person going thru withdrawal... nurses have to come in and check them every hour or so for vitals and the throwing up and like... that alone is enough to make you stay away. Like in Drivers Ed how they show that movie in the drinking and driving course... maybe if people were more educated and see that shit they would know better too. I've noticed heorine addicts is truly on a rise almost like crack was in the 90's with these young kids... that's scary and it breaks my heart too. Your dealer go out of town ONE day and you could end up dead - it makes me wonder what they are going thru to even take that risk.

- - - Updated - - -

Like my mom said to me when I was drinking too much and going thru my worst... she said usually it's the people that have gone thru something too horrible to face to steer them towards drugs (IE deal with being raped a better way). I don't know actual statistics but 3 out of 5 of my friends or old friends have been raped too. I met one girl that my boy intrduced me to was a 4x survivor. I believe in longer jail terms, probabtion and chemical castration so long as you're on probation too - cause like mine was 10 years ago and I STILL have a hard time having sex sometimes, they shouldn't be able to either.

- - - Updated - - -

That's why I love Pac's "send them back to their parents up north with their dicks cut off" in Hello from the Other Side Nozzy version... Man... I wish. I have like 10 world star videos I wanna create to show them mother fuckers what I want to do but can't.