-
Alone In The Dark
~"Alone In The Dark"~
Cold In The Corner, My Feelings Dying In The Silence, Noise Suffocating, Falling Short, Before My Ears
Tears Falling, Flooding Near My Toes, My Heart Is Full To Bursting, All I Ever Wanted Was To Blend Amongst My Peers
I See Them, Smiling, Laughing, As They Scowl At My Demise, Hit Close To My Soul With Every Taunt,
Dreams Have Faded, Mind Is Jaded, Visions Shattered By Neglect, Hurtful Words Reveal My Skeletan, Looking Gaunt.
For Every Insult That They Throw At Me, Their Ammunition Painful, Deadly, My Defences Seem, Inevitably, To Fail,
They Won't Listen To my Pleading, My Crys they Find Misleading, Trapped In A Corner, They Have Me Bolted In My Jail,
Too Afraid To Spread My Broken Wings, To Humiliated To Fly, To Break Free Of The Chains Drove In The Ground,
Does Anybody See Me? A Ghostly Shadow in The Corner? Fantasies Of Heaven, But To Hell She's Homeward Bound.
-
Very nice i like it alot
great flow, i got tripped up at some points but it was still great
keep it up
-
the flow was kinda off, but all in all the emotion and energy wa great had a lot of outstanding lines and some great vocab keep it up...can ye peep my soft focus poem thanks
-
This was some great shit hunni. Emotion and everything was felt deep. Everything was on track and I liked it. much respect to you babe, JT
-
I know exactly what your talking about in this peice. Seriously. I can understand it... well... I can understand it as much as I can from my own perspective. Unless you're really good at elaborations, aint no one can truly understand it from your perspective except you.
So I can take what I can from this peice in my own way.
I can't really say I can relate though. Everyone notices me. I never go without being noticed. Of course, that's usually because I'm an embarrassing spectacle. And I would not be at all suprised if that skeleton remark was in reference to you having anorexia or something. And I can't relate to anorexia either. I've always been to lazy to have the will to go without eating.
But yeah...
For Every Insult That They Throw At Me, Their Ammunition Painful, Deadly, My Defences Seem, Inevitably, To Fail,
They Won't Listen To my Pleading, My Crys they Find Misleading, Trapped In A Corner, They Have Me Bolted In My Jail,
I know exactly what that's like though.
-
Indeed...indeed.
I liked (a lot) how you wrote this piece. I mean i've seen pieces written this way before. But hey, at this moment, it seems refreshing.
It seemed to be a soothing melody brooding with darknes of sorts. Telling emotions that though personal, have the slightest hint of distance too. You did it with a certain ease, which brings one back to the 'soothing melody' thing.
'Subject matter' that has it's own personal meanings i guess...but nonetheless 'understood'...
Er...yeah, that's what you got on here. Mixed and unusual responses to your pieces. That's 'art' i guess...you can't be restrained by too many templates when commenting on it.
..resp...