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When Mourning Comes
When Morning Comes is when mourning comes/....
When morning comes,
I'll pray to God when I start that I wont fall apart,
and when Mourning comes,
I'll grab my stuff and dart, and off in my shirt to go and sell some parts,
and when morning comes,
I'll pray to God from the start that I wont fall apart,
Cause thats when mourning comes........
I sit and watch as this clock ticks every single second,
lost in thought as this smoke drifts up from my ciggerette,
and Chrissy tosses in bed and puts her hand on this page,
I gently kiss her lips and move her hand outta the way,
cause right now, I'm free to let my mind takes its path,
No burdens on my shoulders or any bosses on my ass,
and for the next hour, I can think without distraction,
Cause Blace is in bed and I'm the only one still active.
See, this is my time, to get some peace of mind,
and for anyone who doubts me, to get a piece of mine,
see, I'm dreamin of sleep, but I am dreading the morning,
Cause I know that in the morning its back to my mourning.
and thats when mourning comes,
When morning comes,
I'll pray to God when I start that I wont fall apart,
and when Mourning comes,
I'll grab my stuff and dart, and off in my shirt to go and sell some parts,
and when morning comes,
I'll pray to God from the start that I wont fall apart,
Cause thats when mourning comes........
TO BE CONTINUED
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you got some style man, and good rhymes, but i think you got a bit of structural deficiancy,
Originally posted by A.T.
"and for the next hour, I can think without distraction,
Cause Blace is in bed and I'm the only one still active."
you could have left out the word "still", because it is a hanging dangler, and has no other function. other than that good verse man, i look forward to readin the next chapter.
also check out my open mic piece " The Biggest Gang"
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=243681
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This piece was tight I really like the hook and the lyrics were straight. I think the only advice I have for you is to add some multis besides that its good. 7.5/10
stay up man
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uppin....
I also have a battle that needs to be closed...
plz vote on it/.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=243755
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uppin
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Closed.
For posting the same link twice and for plugging your battle in your OM.
