Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

Bilayer
Lift the sun with a complex subject of tear drops.
Mission's done after I collect the correct thoughts.
A battlefield with landmines on the insides of me
Elevating skills trying to combine my mind with dreams
Ink fractures the force field sanity has projected
As laughter takes a course filled with vanity and perfection
Walk the map of the stars with both eyes stapled shut
Signing autographs large. Graffiti artists see too much
Both eyes bloodshot, crimson red tear drops stain me.
Sky is lost and I'm looking for the thoughts that are remaining
Before my head was emptied out I floated with clouds
Stay hidden in crowds before I was found by sounds.
Now musical notes carry my hopes past pitch black
Ink runs down my throat after I wrote the path to math
Numbers mumbled and equations are facing their relations
Letters flow better when I'm impatient, forming pages sacred.
Pry apart the heart of ignorance fighting with it's abyss
From start to dark, through the mist I'm swinging gleaming fists.
Golden arms, weightless like wings of a floating beauty
Folded scorn shape shifts and dreams interrupt sleep rudely
Wish my falling eyelids would hide me from dieing society
Witness me drawing silence with written words so violently.
Hold the constellation hostage, screaming for a smile
Begging for her soft lips that haven't been felt in awhile.
Want your earth with a perfect axis and rotation?
Then take my birth and reverse my first day of contemplation.

XCIII
Dancing with the wind, listening to it's calling hymns,
I'm closing my eyes from within as I'm crawling to him.
He's one note above perfect, neither man nor creature,
a prayer I wrote with the purpose to stand a dreamer.
Whispering in my ear, giving me concepts to write for,
I'm picturing a mirror, while drifting to the right door.
I'd like more, like a universe where falling stars live,
because without a living galaxy, our calling scars thin.
Hand me a paintbrush to help my dreams come true,
but I'll be damned to touch the light he runs through.
So as I sculpture the promised land, blueprint aside,
lend another second to understand the stint of life.
I'm finished, as a breath's venting down my spine,
the sky remains ours, the stars and a divine line.



Tenebrific.
While I gaze upon the stars, shining brightly in the sky,
Radiating her flesh, leaving her with a shimmer in her eye.
A prayer answered by the heavens, produced by the flames
Born of dust, and woven into a woman, Eve was her name.
Giving a chance, we form a family born under seduction
But due to corruption cast out, with a thunderous eruption.
Alive through pain, we endure these tribulations and trials,
Yet manage to remain at peace, no longer forcing a smile
So we look onward, with our eyes towards the prize
Till we reach a piece, a piece of heaven in the sky…

TJC
As we finally reach the sky is ours
The constellation vast, with faster stars
Plenty to be proud, as the clouds of doubt disappear
We see somebody dick in the ars from the rear
How vast this universe really is, and now we conquer it
Even tho in real live, we still play command and conquer
Well that was back in the days, now we galactic
Spaceship space craft, with mother’s base and even floating traffic
Society walkin’ in tubes planet to planets, maybe visitin’ father’s base
Well we have it all, and now the sky is our




Links
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-386265.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rs-387367.html

I really like all these man. The first drop definitely had to be my favorite though. I really like your imagery. I'd appreciate it if you could give me some feedback on this battle verse I have posted.

bet will get to as possible

upp

uppin again it seems like the good reads get slept on

nice shit here........Bilayer's was nice with the multis........everybody else was nice with it too but his stuck out.................if you can please return the favor on my drop

please guys.... 4 lines minimum if you want to get feed back from me.... i usually leave atleast 4-8+ lines for feed when i do... except in rare cases

aight my bad................i'll break it down

Bilayer-nice multi's, overall flow was pretty smooth mostly,vocab game was on point and pretty much a good way to open it up.

XCIII- nice flow, you stuck to the topic well which i like and can appreciate.........vocab is aight but i was looking for more multi's......overall it was pretty strong

Tenebrific- flowed the best of all of them...............i like the line about the girl named eve...........nice drop

TJC-stuck to the intergalacic shit nice.........could of used some multi's but overall not bad........i like the idea about the future

Bilayer-that shit was hard homie. Your flow was on point, and the vocab was consistent. I haven't read much by you but you seem to know your shit. The last two lines were fire man. I'll start checking more of your work.

XCIII-this was a nice verse, again another ill closer. But I would have liked to see a bit more, it just seemed kind of short after reading bi's. Not to say your flow was on point, cause it was. So was your vocab and take on the topic. It just seemed short though. I dont mean to ramble but Im high.

Tenebrific-this was cool. Flow was solid, no real bones to pick, but damn we just got shorter from the first verse. I guess its starting to make sense as the verses just keep getting short. I mean it just doesnt give alot of room for feedback.

TJC-I wouldnt say this was bad, but it seemed kind of sloppy like it it was rushed. I wasnt digging the conquer it/conquer rhyme, and the end just didnt even rhyme. I guess I could just this maybe as poetry, which would make it alot better, but it just didnt seem to be a great closer.

Overall-this was well worth the read, but it just kind of seemed rushed. Bilayer came out with a solid verse, and the verses there after seemed to dwindle as they went on. I didnt really feel the end was as good as it could have been. Nobody came weak, but it just seemed to be rushed. Either way keep it yall.

upping, i will get to ur pieces tomorrow, ty

Upping. Will get links for this as well.

lala top it goes