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We Exist
A Colored Man is Whipped in front of a crowd containing more than 30 members of his own family. He was whipped for not picking the cotton fast enough..While the man with the whip never helped. So they cried savage tears of hatred for the men of the different race..
It's quiet right? Hold on! does my life flash before the lights
My brains in knots. It took but two shots to break the sight
The feelings fight my minds might, man I can't comprehend
I just should've put the return address on my minds end..
..so that maybe I could replace the feeling satan sends
It's so discreat how my rope tends to break and bend
I'm different. But why does the white men dislike agression
Not a Great thing.. how they've lost thought of the Depression
Congestion seems to overmind the people. Blinded to the ass
Whips crack on our backs so why you think we speak fast
chemical reactions send less than a blast, but cash..
..Buy and sell for the war products, they're stockin' mass
weapons of destruction. Osama aint bad he's just'a production
for the higher ups. You'll see beneath it, it's like lyposuction
or breast reduction. The truth is taken, so what you need
is shown skin deep for the knowingless minds that you feed
But indeed I'm above the life you heed. I'm the truth..
I'm random like secret calls that go TO the phone booths
Youth may not understand. I'm the unread book on the shelf
They gave me enough slack, just so that I could hang myself
I'm self proclaimed to be named the king of the game..
It's also the same way when your own life is reclaimed
I cry not for my fears. Oh no, I cry for my family in a past
You'd think there was a line in the races the way we came last
It's cast away though. Past no longer exists, we stand proud
We've come along way in this world, now demandin' a crowd
The colored man passes his employee a piece of his wifes homeade blackberry cobler. "So..are we still watching the game this weekend?" If something as good as this can happen, then why does evil even exist?
We Exist
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...39#post3987439
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=273098
Links^
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yeah son this was a good subject u touched on alot of stuff witch is kinda a gift/curse cause while u touched on alot of subjects and really gave us a broad view of ur feelings and opinions u really didn't dive very deep into the details of all the subjects you did with slavery then kinda feel off altought it was all still good great job man
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this was really dope.....................nice topic, wordplay, structure, an you sticked to your topic........pz.
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It's quiet right? Hold on! does my life flash before the lights
My brains in knots. It took but two shots to break the sight
The feelings fight my minds might, man I can't comprehend
I just should've put the return address on my minds end..
..so that maybe I could replace the feeling satan sends
It's so discreat how my rope tends to break and bend
I'm different. But why does the white men dislike agression
Not a Great thing.. how they've lost thought of the Depression
Congestion seems to overmind the people. Blinded to the ass
Whips crack on our backs so why you think we speak fast
chemical reactions send less than a blast, but cash..
..Buy and sell for the war products, they're stockin' mass
weapons of destruction. Osama aint bad he's just'a production
for the higher ups. You'll see beneath it, it's like lyposuction
or breast reduction. The truth is taken, so what you need
is shown skin deep for the knowingless minds that you feed
But indeed I'm above the life you heed. I'm the truth..
I'm random like secret calls that go TO the phone booths
Youth may not understand. I'm the unread book on the shelf
They gave me enough slack, just so that I could hang myself
I'm self proclaimed to be named the king of the game..
It's also the same way when your own life is reclaimed
I cry not for my fears. Oh no, I cry for my family in a past
You'd think there was a line in the races the way we came last
It's cast away though. Past no longer exists, we stand proud
We've come along way in this world, now demandin' a crowd
GREW
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Nice piece here.
First thing that stood out was the flow, pretty much perfect flow and the multi;s involved were sweet dude, brough it all together for a good read, you used some really good vocab sometimes pretty simple but effective and then more complex, showed a good contrast there, also your use of language was real good.
"Whips crack on our backs so why you think we speak fast
chemical reactions send less than a blast, but cash..
..Buy and sell for the war products, they're stockin' mass
weapons of destruction. Osama aint bad he's just'a production
for the higher ups. You'll see beneath it, it's like lyposuction
or breast reduction. The truth is taken, so what you need
is shown skin deep for the knowingless minds that you feed"
^Probably your best lines, switched between rhyme schemes effortlessly and really sounded nice to read, noly thing i would say as far as emotion goes is you used the right words and energy for it but i dunno i just was never that grasped by it, the story was a nice one but never like whoa, constantly good throughout though, your most creative thing is your rhyme scheme and flow, real nice but maybe its the subject or i dunno but i just wasnt that emotionlly grasped by it u know, maybe am being harsh but ah well. Real good writing, keep it up.
Oh n hit the sig, appreciated.
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alright piece... didnt feel alot of emotion and didnt see any personal feelings.. alot of good verses though and a good topic to touch on