Dont sleep

yo, when im around spitefull actions mount
hell yeah i let my kids stay over at michael jacksons house
that diana ross look a like aint brought em back yet
when it comes to being irresponsible im a black belt
listen to my songs, theirs no jokes mentioned
im waiting outside the post office to rob the old folks pension
then spend all the money on weed and beer
dont take me for a joke im being sincere
i hate the protesters who wanna kill porn
my family look like they've seen a ghost when they see me cause i was still born
but my mother couldnt give me up cause she got too attached
when i went to school, all the kids would say, who is that?
thats why im pissed off, now im overdosing in the place where they sell the bud
now ive got a s-s-s sickety stutter like elmer fudd
when i was four i used to shoot rabbits
now im older and colder ive got a brutes habbits

hook- im a nice dude, so i sip booze and got plenty of weed to smoke
i like to say fuk,cunt,bitch,shit,prick, then slit ya throat
oh no i forgot im a bad dude
robbing retards and jerking off in front of old ladies, im mad rude

ya fan base is ninety percent bitch so they own ya
you act tough, ill leave you with more skid marks than daytona
i make rappers carrears park in a permanent pit stop
woooo my shits hot, i gotta lay off the vindaloo
ha ha ya more funny than chris rock if you think ill give into you
you took so long to answer when i called you out
now i know why, cause you had balls in ya mouth
fuck every mc im the uk saviour
when i say wats my resume you say major
im from wales, to be precise the south punk
go and get ya bitch, i may need a mouth fuck
i release more rage than the incredible hulk
skill like mine is more hard to come by than edible cunt
oh, i can hear the critics now, hes so bad
yeah, ill get ho's stabbed, you cant compete with my violent,viscious,visceral, vocab

yo u need to stop sleeping on my shit, i hate being cocky but i probably got the best flow on here im reading your stuff and its all basic and you getting mad replies im posting wicked stuff and having 4 or 5 replies, your all haters, oh yeah dont replie to this rant read the verses and reply to those, yes read them recognise the skill, dont sleep.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159782
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159637

wat the fuck is up with you on here, how come i aint getting no replies, i know why cause ya jealous of the flow, so u just ignore me cause u know im better than u.haterzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Safe spa.. sapnin' bra.


Pretty good man.. had some nice lines in there.
Best way to get replies is to reply on others and leave a link to yours saying Hit this up.
You gotta work for replies but as you start getting known you'll get more.. ppl are just lazy and there's loads being posted every day.
I'll still own you in a battle tho fatboy.

im uppin this thread i think it deserves more than just one reply just read it and peep the flow dont hate dont sleep, peace.

^^^^^^^^^returning the favor bro

well this piece aint bad at all,has some good lines,i enjoyed reading it(unlike alot of verses on this site)
your structure was pretty good,so yea,you're alright bro

peace

i can tell ur influenced by eminem...but this was a decent drop needs work but it will come together as u drop more OM's.... people ask tell me i strecth my lines so i can relate were u r with that, so try to cut em short( the lines) so it dont look sloppy, dont trip i still do it, other then that i thought it was coo but to be honest i wasnt feeling the hook i would say change it or get rid of it .....


returning the favor

Actually, this piece wasn't too bad . I expected less from the structure. The rhymes and all the punches in this were pretty good, but these kind of raps can get played out real quick, ya know? You seem like you would do real well in a battle, if u commit to it. The flow was prolly the best part, I didn't get lost, or I didn't fall off at one point, so that's always a hit. Umm, really the only thing that needs some work is the structure of it, looks all sloppy and shit, most people wouldn't even read it with structure like that. So uhh fix that and go from there. I hope to see some more from u man to see how much you elevate. That's it. Good piece.

you need to put more feelings into your work its ok but try getting into your work and put your emotions and feelings into it

thanks for the replies, i posted this cause i just got back 2 getting my metaphors and punchlines 2gether i havent been able 2 write many of em lately, ive been writing deeper stuff, so next post will be deep, peace.

It was tight... two thumbs

these replies are ok i aint expecting much cause this rhyme was just me doing metaphors and stuff but reply to my new post.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160700

Blah!!! not bad, im from 411 hype & theirs alot more ill heads there as I can see so far

this wasnt that bad, the flow was alright, some lines were too long so you might want to shorten them up man, and the vocab in some places were hot but in others basic, the consistency was pretty much there, the rhyme scheme was a bit shabby and the multi's and such really werent there but other than that....it was decent hit up my OM http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160790

it was aight. the rhymes were nothing great. Use better structure but it is hard sometimes cause ya wanna put so much into it instead of short lines. Improve on ya punches because i hear stuff like dick in ya mouth so many times its outplayed. think of some more disses. not bad but it can be improved.

not bad, just a little lengthy...good structure, flow and everyhting else though...elevate..peace